(The number one rule at pools is no running. Just don’t do it. I’ve seen some pretty gruesome injuries as a result. One day, I’m lifeguarding, and this kid is just not getting the “no running” rule. We’ve warned him three times and still see him literally sprinting from one side to the other. My coworker finally has enough the fourth time.)

Coworker: *as loud as she can* “HEY, YOU!” *the kid stops and looks like a deer in headlights* “COME HERE!”

(The kid walks, for the first time at a reasonable speed, up to her, looking scared. We can kick people out of the pool, and I’m pretty sure he assumes that is about to happen.)

Coworker: “All right. Can you lift up your left leg?”

Kid: “Uh, yeah.”

(He does so.)

Coworker: “Okay, and put it down?”

(The kid does that.)

Coworker: “Now lift up your right leg and put it down.”

(The kid does all these things and stares at her, confused.)

Coworker: “Great! What you just did is called walking. That is what I and the other lifeguards have been trying to get you to do the whole time you’ve been here. Not because it’s optional, but because it’s safer! Now that we’ve established that you can walk, you better slow down, or you can’t be here anymore. Understand?”

(The kid nodded and never ran the rest of his stay.)

(I work at a stadium. Across the street is a small mom-and-pop bodega owned by a very nice family from India. I usually eat there because the food is good and cheap, and the location is convenient. On game days, they get slammed with drunk tailgaters walking over from the stadium. This exchange takes place one afternoon on my lunch break.)

Owner: “Hello. How are you today, and what may I get you?”

Me: “I am doing well, sir, and you? It looks like you guys are super busy, so I will just take a [pre-made sandwich]. Thank you!”

(As he hands me my lunch and rings me up, he hands me three lottery tickets.)

Me: “Oh, I don’t need these; I didn’t pay for them.”

Owner: “Take them as a gift, sir. You are literally the only person who has been polite and talked to me as a human being all d*** day!”

(See, kids? It pays to be polite!)

(I’m at the checkout of a supermarket.)

Cashier: “Will that be cash or card today, sir— Oh, umm… miss?”

Me: “I— uh, what?”

Cashier: *huffs* “I’m sorry. We’re supporting our manager who’s come out as agender, so we’re not assuming the gender of anyone we serve today to bring attention to the issues of non-binary individuals.”

Me: “That actually sounds quite interesting, but isn’t using female pronouns automatically assuming that my gender is female?”

Cashier: “No, because you’re a guy, so I referred to you as a woman.”

Me: “Aren’t you assuming my gender then, anyway?”

Cashier: *deer in the headlights moment* “OH, MY GOD!”

Me: “Don’t get me wrong; I think what you’re trying to do is a good thing, but it’s more for highlighting transgender issues than issues affecting the wider non-binary community.”

Cashier: *tears forming in her eyes* “I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve messed up. I don’t really understand any of it.”

Me: “I don’t think many out there will hold it against you. Admitting you don’t understand is a big step forward. Maybe ask what pronouns people would like to be referred to as, or just use the neutral ‘they’ and ‘them,’ etc.”

Cashier: “Oh, I will. Thank you. So, umm, what pronouns would you like me to use?”

Me: “Male is fine. I’m agender, too, actually, but I don’t care enough to really bother. I just go with whatever people use for me.”

(Her face lit up and we finished my purchase. It was nice thing to see people trying to bring attention to such issues. It made my week.)

(I am 58 years old and in the checkout line. As the twenty-something cashier is scanning my groceries she asks:)

Cashier: “Would you like paper or plastic bags, sir?”

Me: “Plastic.”

Cashier: “Did you find everything today, sir?

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Do you have any coupons, sir?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Do you need any stamps, sir?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Do you have any bottle returns, sir?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “That comes to $48.53, sir”

Me: *as I am handing her the cash, I say jokingly* “You know, you keep calling me ‘sir.’ That may make me feel like an old guy.”

Cashier: *handing me my change* “Here’s your change, dude.”

(I cracked up laughing, thanked her, and chuckled the rest of the day when I recalled the event. Thanks for the laugh!)

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(At my hotel, we occasionally have guests that stay with us for very long stretches of time, usually because of some issue with their homes. One such couple has at this point been staying with us for a few months, and has gotten to know the front desk staff very well. While they are staying with us, a member of our front desk staff officially comes out as transgender, identifying as female, and changes her name to suit. This couple is a bit caught off guard by it, but are very accepting, just like the staff is. One day, when my coworker is off, about a week after her transition, the couple comes up to me at the desk.)

Guest: “Um, hey, [My Name]. I wanted to ask you something.”

Me: “Sure. What’s up?”

Guest: “I don’t want to be presumptuous or offend her or anything, but do you think it would be okay for us to buy [Coworker] some clothes?”

(The guest’s wife and I both look a bit confused.)

Me: “Um… I would ask her that first, but why?”

Guest: “I’ve just noticed that she wears the same thing all the time, and I thought maybe she doesn’t have much to wear.”

(At this point, the penny drops, and the guest’s wife and I both start laughing.)

Guest: “What? What’s funny?”

Guest’s Wife: “You dip! That’s her uniform! All of the girls wear that! Haven’t you noticed [Coworker #2] and [Coworker #3] wear the same thing all the time too?”

Guest: “Well, [My Name] doesn’t wear it!”

Guest’s Wife: “Because she’s the manager!”

(We all had a good laugh about it, and they went on their way, but I thought it was super sweet that he’d offer to support someone like that through their transition, even if his concern was misplaced!)

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