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The Land Of Milk And Money

, , , , , | Right | November 23, 2009

(I am working at a packing house, cutting checks for local dairy farmers who sell us one or two cows at a time. They are given a scale ticket in the barn, which I use to cut a check.)

Me: “Hi, can I have your scale ticket?”

Farmer: “I’d like him to help me.” *points at a USDA associate*

Me: “Sorry, sir, but he doesn’t work for us. He works for the USDA.”

Farmer: “Well, I’d like you to find a MAN who can cut me a check for my cows.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but none of the men that work here know how to cut checks. All our office staff members are women.”

Farmer: “Don’t lie, you little hussy! Only men can run a business! You go back to making coffee!”

Me: “Sir, you run a dairy farm, correct?”

Farmer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you make money from the milk you sell?”

Farmer: “That’s how a dairy farm works, sweetheart. Now get me a–”

Me: “So, basically, milk is money to you?”

Farmer: “Yes. Now get me a–”

Me: “And does the milk come from male cattle?”

Farmer: “Ha ha! NO!”

Me: *pointed look*

Farmer: *hands me the scale ticket*


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Cutty Out The Attitude

, , , , , | Learning Right | November 23, 2009

(I am working in a kindergarten where over half of the kids are Maori. The Maori word for scissors is ‘kutikuti,’ which is pronounced ‘cutty cutty’.)

Me: *to a child* “Can you pass me the kutikuti please?”

Mother: “What did you say to my child?”

Me: “I asked her to pass me the scissors.”

Mother: “Don’t talk baby to my child. She’s smart enough to use adult words.”

Me: “I wasn’t. I was using the Maori name for scissors.”

Mother: “No, you said cutty cutty. That’s not Maori. I’m Maori, and I think I know Maori when I hear it.”

(The child interrupts. She grabs her mom by the hand and drags her off to a poster on the wall which has a few art objects and their Maori names under them.)

Child: “Mom, why do you always have to pick fights with people? I’m very disappointed in you!”

(When her mother left I gave the kid the biggest sticker I could find to put on her good behaviour chart.)


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

14 Times Aquarium Customers Made You Wish You Were Out At Sea

 

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Fast Food For Fast Thinkers

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2009

(I am working as a cashier and two customers come in talking loudly about how dumb minimum wage fast-food workers are. One of them decides to prove it…)

Customer: “Let me ask you a question. What’s 7 times 7?”

Me: “49.”

Customer: “What’s 8 times 8?”

Me: “64.”

Customer: “E equals MC squared?”

Me: “What about it?”

Customer: “What does it mean?”

Me: “Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”

Customer: “Uhm…”

Me: “Would you like fries with that?”

Needs A Military Rescue

, , , , , , | Right | November 11, 2009

(I work at a movie theater. It’s a Monday morning and I’m serving a young man in line.)

Customer: “Do you offer military discounts?”

Me: “The current policy is that we do not offer military discounts on weekdays, but we do on weekends. Since weekday prices are already so much cheaper, especially for matinees, we really can’t add additional discounts on top of it.”

Customer: *firmly* “Well, lemme ask you this: do you believe the minimum wage should be raised?”

Me: *confused* “Um… well, yes. Yes, I do. A little over $8 an hour is hard to live off of, especially in this economy.”

Customer: “Well, that’s bulls***. You don’t deserve more money. I just got back from being stationed in Iraq. How about you? I fought for your freedom, kid. The same freedom that you’re exercising now to tell me that my sacrifices won’t even get me a discount! You minimum wage drones don’t deserve more money.”

Me: *absolutely shocked* “I’m… I’m sorry, sir. I truly thank you for your service…”

Customer: “I want you to know I have no respect for you whatsoever. You obviously weren’t in the military, and you don’t understand the meaning of sacrifice. It’s unbelievable that after I chose to fight for your freedom, you deny me the basic dignity of recognition with a discount. Do you understand that I don’t respect you?”

Me: “I… I guess?”

Customer: “No, you tell me that you absolutely understand that I don’t respect you.”

Me: *going pale* “I understand.”

Customer: “Good.”

(He buys his tickets and goes into the theater. I’m left shocked by the exchange. An older man who was behind him in line approaches me. He gives me a warm smile.)

Old Man: “Wow. I’m sorry you had to put up with that. You know… I was in the military. Fought in Vietnam. Put up with a lot in my life. But I want to tell you… I thank YOU for YOUR service. And I have nothing but respect for you and every other person out there trying to make ends meet while being a good employee, despite dealing with a low minimum wage. Not everyone is cut out to be a soldier. But that doesn’t mean jerks like him are better than you. People like you… doing your hardest and trying to make ends meet, all while having to put up with the self-righteous people like that… you deserve as much admiration as anyone else. This world needs people of all types. We’re all in this together. We’re all heroes in our own way. So thank you. Because of you, I get to have a nice day seeing movies. You’re helping to give me happiness for a few hours. And that means a lot.”

(I was almost crying for the rest of the day. Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity after the last person nearly destroyed it!)


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Once A Marine, Always A Marine

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 11, 2009

(I am a bookseller working toward a teaching credential. While I am not exactly poor, my pay is not stellar, and it is occasionally a stretch for me to manage loans and bills. While walking home from work, I see a middle-aged man asking for money on the corner. He appears to be a veteran. I scrounge around in my purse for change and only find a penny, but I walk up to him, anyway.)

Me: “Hey. I’m one of those jerks who doesn’t carry a lot of cash. So, this is all I have. I hope it helps.”

(I press the penny into the palm of the veteran’s hand. He looks at me. When he speaks, I can tell that he’s not all there, but he sounds genuine.)

Veteran: “You know what? If that’s all you have, then take this.”

(To my amazement, he presses a one-dollar bill into my palm. I shake my head and try to give it back to him.)

Me: “No. You need it more than I do.”

Veteran: “You know what? Take it. I was in the Marines. And my job was to protect this country. And help poor people.”

(Overcome with emotion, I impulsively salute at the veteran. He immediately snaps into a military salute in response. I thank him and start walking again, and he calls after me.)

Veteran: “Hey! Don’t you be spending that on alcohol, now!”

Me: “I won’t, sir!”

(True to my word, I converted the dollar into quarters for laundry, which I desperately needed to do. It really goes to show how some people, even in their greatest hours of need, will still go out of their way to help others out. Wherever you are now, sir, thank you – and to everyone else, please remember to support your troops, since many of them, after the fight, will need all the love they can get.)


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