I’m the silly/stupid customer in this one. I’ve gone into a local superstore to return some things for my mum, who is on holiday out of the country. She’s left me with a decent number of items and receipts, and though most of them are pre-sorted, this particular bag isn’t. Here’s where it comes to me being stupid: one receipt is taped to one item, so I assume the other items are all on the second receipt… without actually checking for myself.

I head to the service desk and try to make small talk with the only cashier there, who strikes me as one of those “I’ve worked in retail too long to give a s***” types — very no-nonsense. She scans the first receipt and the item it’s taped to, then scans the second receipt and starts in on the rest of the items. In a rare stroke of luck, I am the only person in line, save for an elderly lady who let me go ahead because she was organizing her items — like I should have. Of course, we come to realize that the items are mixed up, some on the first receipt, others on the second. Then, the machine the cashier is working on goes a bit haywire. I take a brief glance behind me and realize that we’ve gone from one person in line to about eleven.

I’m naturally an anxious person and quite apologetic, so when a young fellow five people back starts saying things like, “D***, I could’ve gone outside and had a smoke!” I begin to apologize quietly to my cashier, shifting from foot to foot, generally trying to shrink into an invisible turtle shell.

She waves it off the first couple times, but by the end of our transaction she looks up and in the most mellow, deadpan voice says, “Look, if they’re going to complain, they can just go to another [Store] and do their returns there. Don’t worry about it.”

The fellow behind me doesn’t say another word, and the lady and I have a laugh as another cashier comes to man the second return till. I’ve read plenty of stories here about customers easing the nerves of retail workers but rarely is it the other way around. I can’t thank her enough for putting up with my incompetence and making an anxious gal’s day a little better. Whoever you are, you have the patience of a saint, and may all your customers treat you with the respect you deserve!

(It’s late at night and I’m walking home from work when I drop into a well-known fast food joint. I have just completed a twelve-hour shift and am walking forty-five minutes home as my car isn’t working. My brain isn’t exactly in gear.)

Me: “A small white hot chocolate, two sugars, please.”

Cashier: “What milk?”

Me: “Small white hot chocolate, two sugars.”

(This repeats twice.)

Cashier: “Nonfat or full cream milk?”

Me: “Oh, crap. Full cream, please. I’m so sorry. Long day.”

Cashier: *laughing* “No problem. [Total], please.”

(When my drink is ready she has included marshmallows and a chocolate muffin.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I didn’t pay for the marshmallows or muffin, and I don’t have the money for them.”

Cashier: “We’re shutting the cafe now, so they’re on the house. Hope your day gets better!”

(Thanks to the cashier who made my day a lot better and put up with a stupid customer.)

(I’m gay, and I’ve lived in a very socially conservative area for the past several years, which makes me nervous about being out. I recently moved to a more open, accepting location, and one of the things I am excited about is the prospect of a larger and more open LGBTQIA+ community. This all takes place on the way to the first Pride event I’ve ever attended.)

Uber Driver: “So, what’s going on in [Destination]?”

Me: *nervous* “Um, it’s a Pride event.”

(To be honest, I am shaking like a leaf when I say this. I’m not used to people being okay with my sexual orientation; at best, I usually hope for an awkward comment and it never being referenced again.)

Uber Driver: “Oh, hey, that’s great! That’s right, it’s Pride month, isn’t it? I’m straight, but I’ve met some great people out celebrating Pride.”

(We talk a little more, and it comes up that I’ve just moved here from a rather homophobic area and this is my first time attending Pride.)

Uber Driver: “Hey, look. I think you’re going to love it here. It sounds like it’s a lot less judgmental than the place you’re coming from, and I think you’re going to have a great time at Pride.”

(For the record, I did have a blast at the event! I’ve come across a lot of people who billed themselves as straight allies when I’ve come out, but I have NEVER come across someone who seemed to so genuinely want to make me feel safe after coming out. I’m terrible with names and can’t name him, but to the Uber driver who took me to my first pride event, thank you for making me feel so safe and supported. I did have a great time, and thanks for being so genuinely nice and supportive of the young gay person you gave a ride to.)

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(I’m a server at a café. Typically, our customers are older couples who order their food and leave with little to no fanfare. However, one gentleman in particular sticks out. I notice his table has a finished tray and dirty dishes and I go to collect them. As I approach, he notices me and says:)

Customer: “Excuse me, the food was very good but I have one complaint. I found this–” *pulls out a dirty yellow handkerchief* “–under my egg sandwich. It’s disgusting. I’m a member of Health and Safety and this just doesn’t work. In fact, what’s your name?” 

(I’m shocked, a little scared, and nervous. I start to apologize before giving him my name. I’m expecting an angry outburst, but instead, he says:)

Customer: “Well, [My Name], you seem nice, so I’m going to make this situation just–“ *moves his hands and tucks the handkerchief in one of them, then opens it to reveal an egg* “–make it all disappear.”

(I realize he’s doing magic and I let out a little laugh of relief. At the same time, his wife approaches the table and sits down next to him. He grins at her, holds up the egg, and says to me:)

Customer: “I did order an egg sandwich, though. But as for the kerchief, I was only yolking.”

(I laugh again, totally on board with his joke now.)

Me: “That’s very punny, sir.”

(I move on with his trays, but not before I see him grin at his wife and say:)

Customer: “She thought it was funny!”

(His wife just kind of shook her head disappointedly at him. I don’t think this is the first time he’s done this, but it made my day!)

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(I work in a popular retail store that allows customers to buy any item on sale if they find a sale sign for said item that hasn’t been taken off the floor yet. As a cashier, I have to make sure that the sale sign is for the correct item because most of the time, the sale price is for a similar, but different item. This happens after an elderly gentleman shows up at my till and I ring him up.)

Me: “Okay, that comes to $15.”

Old Man: “I thought it was $13.”

(I get ready to phone one of the girls on the floor to double-check, a process that can easily turn a thirty-second transaction into fifteen minutes.)

Old Man: “But if you say $15, then $15 it is.”

(The old man shrugged and paid, and I stood there amazed. No matter how small the difference is between prices, I have never seen someone who was okay with the larger price!)