A Sign That They’re A Fool

, , , , , | Right | August 22, 2017

(I get a lot of rude customers, and sometimes I just can’t help teaching them little lessons on manners and patience, mainly through over-the-top sarcastic politeness.)

Customer: *on phone* “I came to your shop a little while ago and you were closed. It says on the door you are open until five pm. Why are you closed? It’s very inconvenient and misleading.”

Me: *knowing that I had been at the bank about 15 minutes ago* “How long ago were you here?”

Customer: “About 15 to 20 minutes ago. I had to drive all the way from [Suburb about 20 minutes away] and you were closed. It’s very inconvenient.”

Me: *knowing that I had left a clear sign on the door saying “Gone to bank. back in 15 minutes”* “Was there a sign on the door or anything like that?”

Customer: “There was a sign saying you are open until five pm.”

Me: *knowing that if they saw that sign they HAD to have seen my bank sign* “Was there any other sign there, maybe where the open sign usually is?”

Customer: “Umm, well, there may have been one saying ‘Gone to bank’ or something…”

Me: *yes, you now realise you’re a fool and I’m going to make you admit it* “And did it say when the store would re-open?”

Customer: *amid sighs and grunts* “It said you would be back in 15 minutes.”

Me: *being super perky* “Okay, well that was 15 to 20 minutes ago and I’m back now, so the store has re-opened. We’re open until five pm so please come back any time before then. Have a good day. Good-bye.”

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You Bagged A Good One

, , , , | Working | August 19, 2017

(A couple of years ago I visited New York for a week. The morning before I flew back to the Netherlands, I visited an outlet mall very near the Newark airport. It’s incredibly hot weather, and it’s clear that the a/c at some of the stores can’t keep up. I visit a store where I find a beautiful leather travel bag that originally sold for $720 but is now on sale for $320 — a big discount but still quite a lot of money for me. A very friendly young saleswoman approaches me to see if I need assistance. She is very helpful and sweet, despite the fact that she and her co-worker are working in sauna temperatures.)

Me: “I really like this bag, but I’m sorry to say it’s a bit too much for me for an impulse buy!”

Saleswoman: “No problem, I totally understand. Let me check in the computer if there are any discounts I could offer.”

(She checks while I browse and find some socks and two belts that I certainly want.)

Saleswoman: “If you go to the concierge desk and ask for a coupon book, you can get a 20% discount!”

Me: “How can I say no to that?!”

(I leave my items on the counter, and go to the concierge desk. When I return to the store, I pass a coffee shop and get iced lattes for me and the two salespersons. When I get back to the store:)

Saleswoman: “I ordered the bag online for you, to pick up here and now, which gives you another 10% off!”

Me: “Wow, that is so cool! Okay if I thank you for that with these lattes?”

(They both were very pleasantly surprised and thanked me. I browsed a bit more, and headed for the checkout to pay for the bag, which they already had packed for me. They thanked me again for the lattes, and I left. The next day, back home in the Netherlands, I unpacked the travel bag. When I opened it, inside I found the socks and the belts, gift-wrapped, and a note that said: “You made our day! XOXO Haley & Michelle.”)

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When There’s Actually A GOOD Umbrella Organisation

, , , , | Working | August 17, 2017

(When I am 12, I go on an overseas trip with my mum and buy a beautiful umbrella there, shaped like a leaf. Since it doesn’t fit into our luggage, we have to check it separate as ‘bulky luggage’ at the airport. But when we get to our home airport at around midnight, the umbrella doesn’t show up at the baggage claim, no matter how long we wait. We ask a random airport worker for help and get sent to the special claims desk.)

Lady At Desk: “You’re missing a piece of luggage? I’m sorry, but it might have been lost in our collections area for luggage… or it might not have made it off the plane. This late at night, there’s not enough workers to properly search for it.”

(I was in love with that umbrella, so hearing that it might be completely lost almost made me cry.)

Lady At Desk: “If you give me a description of the lost piece, I’ll make sure to inform everyone working tomorrow to look for it, and with your flight number we’ll check the plane as well! We can have it delivered to any address you give us.”

Mum: “It’s a bright green umbrella, with the brown handle shaped like a tree trunk, and if you open it up it has the shape of a leaf.”

Lady At Desk: “Well, we certainly won’t have any trouble finding THAT!” *laughing*

(We go home without my umbrella and I am certain I’ll never hear from the airport service again. However, the next day around noon, the doorbell rings and a flight attendant shows up — with my umbrella!)

Flight Attendant: “The luggage workers found this tucked behind a set of golf-bags this morning. When I heard your address was on my route home, I offered to deliver it in person!”

(Ten years later, I still have that umbrella.)

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No Arguments Where Arguments Are Valid

, , , , | Right | August 14, 2017

(At the store where I work we have a highly controversial return policy. We do not do refunds, and our customers are not huge fans of this.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Uh, yeah, hi, I have a little problem with my purchase. I’m not sure who to talk to about this, and I hope someone can help me.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “I was in your store last week to make a purchase. In the middle of the transaction, I asked the cashier if she could check a price for me. She forgot to take the item off my purchases, and ended up charging me for it. I know that your store has a no refunds policy, but what can be done?”

(Judging from the tone of her voice, she seems really worried, when in reality it’s a problem that can be easily solved.)

Me: “Although you’re right about that, your situation is a little different, ma’am. In this case, it was a genuine mistake made by one of our cashiers. You didn’t actually buy it from us; you were mistakenly charged for it. Our final sale policy only applies to, well, sales.”

Caller: “So, I can get my money back?”

Me: “In this rare and unusual circumstance, yes, you can get your money back.”

Caller: “Oh, thank you so much! You’ve just made my day!”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. Thank you for being such an understanding customer.”

(Imagine that. Almost every day I’ve worked there, I’ve had unhappy customers try to argue with me over our policy, and the one person who would’ve had a valid argument chooses to abide by it!)

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Feel Three To Choose

, , , , | Working | June 28, 2017

(I’m checking in an early customer who is dropping off his car to perform recall repairs. It is worth mentioning that I am not at my sharpest in the mornings.)

Me: “Is there a particular time that’s best for you to be able to come back that we should aim for?”

Customer: “Not in particular. What time do you close?”

Me: “Our service department is here until 6 pm. If it’s easier to pick up later, Sales is in until around 8:45 pm; we could also leave your keys and paperwork with them if that works better.”

Customer: “Oh, really? That’s good to know!”

Me: “Yep! We have MILLIONS of options! Well… okay, two. Before Service closes and after Service closes. Two options.”

Customer: *laughs*

Me: “Wait! Tomorrow! You can also pick up your car tomorrow if you want! THREE options!”

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