Biker Guy Starts A Vicious Cycle  

, , , , , , , | Right | December 3, 2019

The coworker in this story is basically the exact opposite of intimidating. He stands right at six feet tall and is maybe 170 pounds. He’s also incredibly baby-faced and has a somewhat timid personality around new people. With all this being said, it hasn’t been uncommon for ruder customers to notice this and try to take advantage of it but nothing has ever gone too over-the-top… that is, until this incident.

I’m minding my section of the store when I hear a loud crash followed by a string of profanity. I pop out from my aisle to find out what’s going on and, from a distance, I can see a display case has been turned over and this meek coworker is being accosted by a rather burly, biker-looking type of man who stands a head taller and looks to be about 100 pounds heavier. While I can’t hear what’s being said from as far back as I am, the biker guy is right in my coworker’s face and is being rather animated with his “discussion.”

Suddenly, the biker guy violently grabs my coworker by the collar. Before I can even begin to rush over or radio for help, my coworker, in the swiftest motion I’ve ever seen, grabs the biker guy by the arm, steps into him, and executes an absolutely perfect shoulder throw takedown, sending the guy to the floor, hard.

By this time, security has intervened anyway and, as you might expect, the biker guy begins screaming in pain and yelling about “assault” and how he’s going to sue, etc. Security tries to get him up and take him to the office to hold him until the police arrive, but every time they try to move him he just screams louder. Finally, the police come to arrest the guy, but even they can’t get the guy off the ground and it’s determined an ambulance needs to be called.

After what seems like forever since all this began, medics come and cart the biker guy off with him still cursing everyone and promising to sue, get everyone fired, and close the store down. The officers split up, with some following the biker guy to the hospital to get his statement and the others going with my coworker and the managers to the office to review camera footage. The officers at the store quickly determine that my coworker likely won’t face any charges, as he obviously acted in self-defense, but management still has to place him on suspension until everything is totally resolved, as is protocol in situations where police are called.

Fast forward a bit: my coworker comes back to work. We find out through his stories that the whole incident started when my coworker told the biker guy that we’d sold out of an extremely popular sale item and wouldn’t be getting more in. The biker guy apparently threatened to “beat the s***” out of my coworker when he wouldn’t check the stock room for more when, obviously, there wouldn’t be any more in stock. The biker guy also did try to sue, but got laughed at by his lawyers who threw out the case when the security footage was played.

We also find out that my coworker declined to press any sort of countersuit. Reason being, it so happens that the biker guy wasn’t faking his pain! When he crash-landed from being thrown, it shattered his hip and cracked two ribs. My coworker says the punishment to the guy’s ego — spending six weeks or more in a body cast coupled with endless taunting from his biker buddies for losing a fight to a guy half his size — is more of a victory than any financial punishment.

1 Thumbs

Will Not Tip-Toe Around Mother

, , , , , , | Right | December 2, 2019

I’ve spent nearly ten years working at a popular gas station in my city, and I’ve gotten to know many customers in that time. One girl, only a few years younger than me, comes in several times a week and we always chat if I have the time. I learn that she is a waitress at my favorite restaurant, though I’ve never been in while she was working; she works evenings, and I only go in mornings or mid-afternoons.

She always laughs and tells me to come by when she is working and sit in her section so she can have one stress-free table for once, and I tell her that as soon as I feel like leaving my house at night, I will. 

A couple of months later, in January, we have our massive birthday celebration for the seven family members who have birthdays all within a couple of weeks of each other. We go to a restaurant that I’ve never been in before, and my mother proceeds to make a fuss over everything to the poor waitress.

The waitress gets our drinks but gives a few to the wrong people, and our food has to come out in waves because we are a table of nearly thirty. When my mom threatens to not tip if the waitress doesn’t “get her act together,” I slam my drink down, stand, throw my napkin onto her plate, and storm out, making her chase me down.

I explain to her that she’s ruined my portion of the celebration and I’m not going to speak to her for a long time after this. She understands she’s screwed up and offers to take me to my favorite restaurant that evening. It’s pretty expensive, but she promises to pay for everything and tip well. I accept.

We get seated, and when the waitress comes for our drink order, it’s my customer! She is thrilled to finally have me as a customer, and she goes above and beyond. It’s a good evening all around, much better than earlier, and when she comes to ask if we want dessert, I turn it down. As she begins to collect plates, it comes up that it’s my birthday. When she comes back with our ticket, there’s a takeout container that she gives to me. It’s a slice of my favorite dessert! She paid for it out of her tip money as a birthday present for me.

It really made up for earlier.

1 Thumbs

Mario Is Saving You Even Now

, , , , | Right | November 28, 2019

(I am working alone at the front desk of a hotel. It is ten pm and about a dozen people walk in to check in at the same time. While I’m making the first person’s keys, the key maker stops working. I try about twenty times and gave up. As they are all staring at me I look up at them all, look down, and blow into where the key enters.)

Me: *to them all staring at me* “I used to do this with my Nintendo all the time.”

(The group started laughing and everything was no longer super awkward. Thank God I’m a 90s kid!)

1 Thumbs

The Magic Of The Yum Yums  

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2019

(It’s a very busy day and we only have one person cashiering, and I’m trying to clean as quickly as possible. Our counters are glass-fronted; I have the glass lifted and am in the process of cleaning the underside, with my back to the shop, using the reflection to keep an eye on two teenage lads hanging about the sandwich selector. I notice another man acting strangely, picking up packets of cakes and putting them back down. Switching focus to him, I notice as he picks up a box of yum yums and turns to leave, so I pursue him out the door.)


(He turns, glaring at me, and I expect he’ll either walk off or attack me. To my astonishment, he does neither.)

Thief: “DON’T F****** SHOUT AT ME!”

(He then THROWS the cakes at me and runs off, and to my utter astonishment, I CATCH them in midair!)

Me: “Don’t steal, then!”

Teenage Boy #1: “Wow, that was a h*** of a catch!”

Teenage Boy #2: “How did you even see him?!”

Me: “I’m magic.”

(I think I was more shocked than anyone else that I caught those cakes! When I told my manager she was almost on the floor laughing. Still the coolest way I’ve ever stopped a thief at work.)

1 Thumbs

Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bigot

, , , | Right | November 21, 2019

(I’m at a locally-owned florist shop looking for flowers when I overhear one of the employees talking excitedly with a lesbian couple about their wedding. After the couple leaves, another shopper approaches the employee.)

Customer: *to the employee* “God, I didn’t think they’d ever leave! They don’t pay you enough to serve people like that!”

Employee: “Like who, sir?”

Customer: “Like them! Those women were gay!”

Employee: “Oh, I know. I’m a bridesmaid. Personally, I think they look absolutely adorable together.”

(The customer looks appalled and leaves the store in a hurry. The employee sees me watching and raises an eyebrow in my direction.)

Me: “Are you really a bridesmaid?”

Employee: *breezily* “Nope! Never seen those women before in my life!”

1 Thumbs