Cease-Fire Is Over When You Can’t Be Fired

, , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | April 18, 2013

(I am working my very first shift at a new job. The coworker training me has stepped out to make a call. A middle-aged customer comes up to the counter looking cross. As he does a young woman comes through the door and sees him.)

Young Woman: “Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No you don’t!”

(The man turns around to face her in shock.)

Young Woman: “Not a chance! You came in here every single day for a year just to bully and ridicule me! You made me wait on you hand and foot, and complained the whole time, and you’ve yet to actually buy anything! Every day that you came in here — and made my life h*** — I went home and cried! You are nothing but a mean, pathetic loser, and I’ll be d***** if I let you treat this poor girl the way you treated me!”

Customer: “EXCUSE ME? YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS YOU WORTHLESS B****!”

Young Woman: “Nope, not this time a**-hole! I don’t work here anymore. I got into college. I’m going to make something of myself. Now you go back to your sad angry little life, and don’t you dare harass anyone who works here again!”

(The man turns red, but leaves. The woman comes up to the counter smiling brightly.)

Young Woman: “Hey, you must be the new girl! I used to work here; just dropped by to pick up my last pay-check.”

(She notices my shocked expression.)

Young Woman: “I’ve been bottling that up for a long time. He shouldn’t bother you again.”

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February Themed Giveaway Final Roundup: Awesome Customers!

, , | Not Always Right | Right | March 10, 2013

Themed Giveaway Roundup: Awesome Customers! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Praise Cheeses (2,461 thumbs up)
  2. Holding The Line Against Bad Customers (2,809 thumbs up)
  3. Give The Beneficent The Benefit Of The Doubt (2,646 thumbs up)
  4. Please Keep All Cybernetics Inside The Ride At All Times (2,684 thumbs up)
  5. Hopefully, That’ll Be The End Of That Customer (2,553 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Treat Them Well And You Get Treated

, , , , , | Right | March 6, 2013

(My sister and I start unloading our cart. When the cashier and young bag boy see her they put on big smiles.)

Cashier: “Hey! It’s our favorite customer!”

(The bagger looks at us and smiles big.)

Bagger: “Your sister is my hero!”

(My sister blushes and I raise my eyebrows at her.)

Cashier: “On his first day, an older customer came in and gave him a hard time…”

Bagger: “…A really hard time. Calling me, stupid, and an idiot, ‘Kids these days.’ You guys know the drill.”

Cashier: “Unfortunately, we aren’t allowed to say anything. Then the customer dumped all of the bags out and yelled at him to do it again.”

Bagger: “So your sister yelled, ‘Hey, you don’t treat people like that!'”

Sister: “He turned around ready to yell at me, saw I was in a wheelchair, and shut his mouth. It was awesome!”

Cashier: “So, she’s our favorite customer now.”

Me: “Holy crap, that is awesome!”

(The employees were always super helpful and nice before, but after that, they REALLY went out of their way to help us.)

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One Size Fits All

, , | Halifax, NS, Canada | Right | February 20, 2013

(A man comes to the counter and places two dresses on the counter: one sized XS and one sized XXL.)

Me: “Are these dresses both for the same woman?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh, okay. These are both very different sizes, so they are not likely to fit the same person. What size does she usually take?”

Customer: “Um… I’m not sure.”

Manager: “Well, does she look more like me or more like her?”

(Note: my manager is quite small, and I am quite big.)

Customer: “Um… uh… I’m sure these will be fine.”

Me: “Sir, because the price is marked down on these dresses they will be Final Sale, so you will not be able to return them if they are not the right size. Are you sure we can’t help you?”

(The customer looks around furtively, then leans in close so that only my manager and I can hear what he is saying.)

Customer: “These dresses are for me, actually.”

(My manager looks at me, and I at her, and then she turns to the customer and speaks a very matter of fact voice.)

Manager: “Why don’t you go try them on, then?”

Customer: “Really? Would that be okay with you?”

Manager: “Of course! Let me get you started with a fitting room.”

(I spent the next hour bringing this man dresses to try on and he had a lovely time! He introduced himself to me and thanked us profusely for being so understanding and helpful. He left with four dresses, all of which fit him to a T, and he came back regularly after that.)

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Suited To The Role

, , , | San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | February 18, 2013

(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here, too. Got it?”

Homeless Man: “I… oh, my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife — the owner’s sister.)

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