Customer Puts Things Back Where They Found Them; No, Seriously

, , , | Right | November 28, 2018

(I go into an office on my college campus to ask a question. The front is small and cramped, so things easily get in the way. On my way out, my bag hits a chair on wheels next to the door, and drags it right into the doorway.)

Me: “Sorry about that!”

Worker #1: *as I’m moving it back to where it was* “That’s all right; it happens all the time.”

Worker #2: *surprised* “You’re putting it back! No one ever puts it back!”

Me: “But… but it blocks the doorway and you can’t get through!”

Worker #2: “Exactly!”

You Know You’ve Had A Tough Day When You Laugh At Dad Jokes

, , , , | Right | November 27, 2018

(I’m rebooking a caller’s appointment due to an issue at his property that’s out of our control.)

Me: “Okay, let’s see when we can get you rebooked in, shall we?”

Customer: “Sure thing.”

(I pull up the install diary, and the next appointment is well over a month away. Eight years of experience tells me this uneventful call is about to become eventful.)

Me: “Hmm, bear with me a few moments, if that’s okay; may I pop you on hold?”

Customer: “Okay, no problem.”

(I head over to a manager to see if there is anything to be done, knowing there isn’t, but I really can’t be bothered with the call escalation without asking them first, so I jump through the hoops. I take the customer off hold.)

Me: “Our next appointment is [date over a month away].”

Customer: “Is that a Saturday?”

Me: “Erm, yes it is.”

Customer: “Okay, fine, but answer me this first.”

Me: *bracing myself*

Customer: “What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”

Me: *an audible sigh of relief as I laugh* “I… I don’t know. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”

Customer: “A STICK! See ya!”

Me: *laughing my head off* “Thanks, enjoy your day.”

(That man made a job that has really poorly affected my mental health much easier that day.)

Thankful For Not Fudging Up Your Thanksgiving

, , , , , | Right | November 21, 2018

(It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I’m stocking the baking aisle, which has been largely cleaned out at this point, much to the frustration and anger of many last-minute shoppers.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have any [Brand] chocolate fudge icing?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that particular icing is out of stock. People have been asking for it and we’ve already checked out back; there’s none in the store. I’m sorry.” *braces for angry response*

Customer: *sigh* “I guess that’s what I get for waiting until the last minute. You have a lovely Thanksgiving!” *walks off*

(I stood there dumbfounded. I was beginning to doubt there was such a thing as a polite last-minute shopper.)

Puns Are Literally S***

, , , | Right | November 20, 2018

(One of our regular customers is a magician, and tends to have various novelty items.)

Me: *to a coworker* “Hey, check out what [Customer] just gave me.”

(I hand him what appears to be a one-inch, handmade wooden stool inside a plastic medicine vial.)

Coworker: “What the h*** is that?”

Me: “A ‘stool sample.'”

Coworker: *groans*

Taking The Time To Say Thank You

, , , , | Right | November 20, 2018

(I’m ringing up a customer, and it proves to be very difficult. There are lots of factors at play, like three discounts I have to apply. She’s doing multiple returns, and we’re also trying to figure out if her store credit card is still active. To top it all off, our registers are old as dirt and can’t handle all of the extra stuff I’m trying to do, so I have to restart the transaction multiple times. I’m pretty good at manipulating our antiquated system, and I’m usually fairly quick on the registers, but all in all, it takes a good ten minutes to process everything for her, and I have to do three separate transactions to make sure everything gets done correctly.)

Customer: “I’m sorry to put you through all of this and take up your time. Thank you so much for your patience.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Oh, no, thank you! I’m so sorry it’s taking forever and I have to keep starting over. Thank you for waiting all this time!”

(She thanks me multiple times again and leaves. I tell my MOD about how difficult it was and what she said.)

Me: “Literally any other customer would have been yelling at me about eight minutes back, wanting to know why it was taking so long and why I couldn’t do it right the first time. She was fantastic! I’ll help her all day, any day.”

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