(My father owns an auto shop where I sometimes work part time. Late one afternoon, a woman comes in.)

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I need my car inspected.”

Me: “Well, we’re not taking any more inspections this afternoon. May I schedule you for tomorrow?”

Customer: “No, I want my car inspected now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we take in our last inspection at 4:00 so we have time to pack up and shut down the machine.”

Customer: “Yes, but I just bought my car from [Dealer] and they told me I could bring my car here to get inspected for free.”

Me: “Yes, they will pay for your inspection here, but we’re closing soon. I’d be happy to schedule you an appointment for another day.”

Customer: “No! This is an outrage! At [Dealer] they told me I could bring in my car ANY TIME to be inspected here!”

Me: “Um… well…”

Customer: “I want my car inspected RIGHT NOW. They told me I could have it inspected any time!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s 4:45 and we are closing in 15 minutes. We don’t have time…”

Customer: “Where is your manager!? I want to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Um… I’m afraid he’s out test driving a car.”

Customer: “That’s unacceptable! Is there anyone else I can talk to? I need to get my car inspected!”

Me: “Hold on…”

(I go out into the shop and check, but sure enough the only other person still here this late is the trainee mechanic. The woman proceeds to yell at us for about ten minutes. Eventually, my dad returns from his test drive.)

Me: “Dad, can you help this woman?”

Dad: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I brought my car here from [Dealer] for an inspection but they won’t give one to me!”

(My dad proceeds to tell her everything I told her, smiling through all her abuse. Eventually…)

Customer: “Fine! This is an outrage! I’m going to write a complaint letter to [Dealer] about you!”

Dad: “Yeah, good luck with that.”

Me: “My God.”

Dad: “Let me give you a little advice about people like that. When somebody gets all worked up at you like that, you need to remain calm. Because the calmer you are, the angrier they get, and it’s REALLY funny.”

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(A customer calls.)

Caller: “Is my car ready to be picked up?”

Me: “I can check for you, sir. Which car is it?”

Caller: “The one I dropped off this morning.”

Me: “Right, and which one would that be?”

Caller: “The one that I dropped off today.”

Me: “Sir, we have a lot of customers on a daily basis. I can’t go on that alone…”

Caller: “I dropped it off this morning!”

Me: “Sir, lots of people dropped their cars off this morning. You need to tell me more. The license plate number, or what you dropped it off for, for example?”

Caller: “It’s the car that I dropped off this morning!”

This story is part of the Auto-Shop roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

12 Stories About Customers Who Should Not Be Allowed To Drive!

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Customer: “Could you check my brakes and see if they are bad?”

Coworker: “Of course. Which vehicle is yours?”

Customer: “Oh, I walked here.”

Coworker: “Okay, well we can’t check your brakes if the car isn’t here.”

Customer: “I told you I walked here. I just want to know if I need new brakes.”

Coworker: “I can’t tell you that unless I actually see the vehicle.”

Customer: “Can’t you just tell me if I need new brakes for my car? It’s a Mercedes if that helps at all.”

Coworker: “Like I said, I need to see the car to tell you if you need new brakes.”

Customer: “Okay, so can you tell me if my brakes are bad?”

Me: “We physically need the car here in front of us so we can look at the brakes with our own eyes and determine if they are bad or not.”

Customer: “It’s a Mercedes.”

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(A customer calls on the phone.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

Customer: “I need an air filter for my car.”

Me: “Okay, sir, what is the model of your car?”

Customer: “It’s red.”

Me: “Okay, so it is red, but what car model is it? Is it a ford or a fiat?”

Customer: “It’s sort of big and red.”

Me: “…I think you should come round to the store and show us the car you need the filter for.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong? The customer is always right!”

Me: “No, sir. I’m not saying you are wrong…”

(After this, he hung up and parked his BLUE Audi outside the shop and said it was for that car.)

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(I work in a motor factor (in America, an auto parts/accessories shop) which is on the same estate as a car workshop. Outside there is a huge sign for the workshop stating the things that they do e.g. brakes, exhausts, MOT testing, etc.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to book my car in for a five-point service.”

(Now, we do various easy-peasy checks e.g. oil, water, and we fit batteries, bulbs, radios, etc., so often customers are often confused as to exactly what we do and do not do.)

Me: “You mean the five-point check? Just pull your car into the bay outside and I’ll be out in a minute.”

Customer: “No, NO, I meant the service you have advertised outside! New brakes, oil change!”

Me: “I think you’re confusing us with the garage next door. We’re just a motor factor.”

Customer: “But you’ve got a sign outside!”

Me: “Let’s have a look then…”

(We look and the sign is for the garage next door, not our motor factor. I point out that our building has a completely different name outside it.)

Customer: “That’s false advertising! Why can’t you do it?! I demand that I get a free service for the inconvenience you have caused me!”

Me: “Sorry mate, we’re just a motor factor. I’d happily service my own car, but I’m not a mechanic, I’m a history student. If you’d like the five-point service, try the building with the same name as on the sign.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I want YOU–” *stabs me in the chest with his finger* “–to service my car right now!”

Me: “Okay, if you just follow me, and talk to that gentleman there–” *points at garage owner* “–I can service your car straight away.”

Customer: *walks off swearing*

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