Customer: “[Coworker] hasn’t contacted me back yet. I left him a message an hour ago. I don’t understand why he hasn’t called me back.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but he’s been in and out of the front office most of the afternoon, working on a couple of estimates.”

(I don’t tell her that all of our adjusters have dozens of jobs to oversee and often have 10 or more messages waiting to be returned at any given point in the day.)

Me: “I can write down your information and let him know you’re waiting on a call back, if you’d like.”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. I’m [Customer], and he had called me about my car. I just can’t understand this at all… Why is the insurance low-balling me?”

Me: “Low-balling you?”

Customer: “Yes! They wrote me an estimate for my car for $2,000 and now [Coworker] is telling me they took the car apart and the estimate is now $4,000! How in the world can that be? I can’t deal with an insurance that will try to cheat me! I pay them good money for my policy, and I can’t understand why they would be so unfair to me!”

Me: “Ah, I think I understand what’s going on, ma’am. Did the insurance adjustor write the estimate just from looking at the car?”

Customer: “Yes. He walked around it and wrote an estimate and it’s way too different than yours!”

Me: “That happens a lot, actually, ma’am. The insurance adjustor could only see the outside of the car. He did his best, but he couldn’t see to know what got damaged behind the outside pieces and so he couldn’t include that in the first estimate. His paperwork was just to get the claim going. Once you brought us the car to take apart to fully inspect and start fixing, we were able to see the different parts inside of the car and tell what else had been broken by the wreck. So, we wrote up a new estimate for the new damages found, and we will work with the insurance to get that paid and fixed. [Coworker] was just letting you know what the new total was so you’d be up to date on everything.”

Customer: “But how can there possibly be that much more damage? I don’t understand why the insurance was low-balling me!”

Me: “Well, depending on where the damage is, there are lots of internal parts to your car. And, unfortunately, they add up quickly if they need to be repaired or replaced.”

Customer: “But I don’t understand!”

Me: “Let me get your contact number so [Coworker] can call you back…”

(I’m a girl and I run a brake shop. People call, I diagnose the issue, give them a quote, set appointments, and order parts. You could say I know a lot about brakes but something like this happens at least once a month.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Brake Shop]; this is [My Name].”

Male Caller: “Hi, honey. I need a quote on a brake job. Do you need to transfer me to somebody else?”

Me: “No, I can handle your quote.”

Male Caller: “Great! I just love a woman who knows her brakes.”

Me: “And I just love a man that can be condescending and sexist in one sentence.” *click*

(I am the father of a six-year-old boy. I am also friends of a married couple and the four of us are looking at motorcycles and gear. The dealer is having a sales event and has some free t-shirts and individual bags of chips. My son is in front, I am behind him, and my female friend is a few steps behind me. We have literally just walked in the door.)

Saleswoman: *to me* “We are all out of your size, but would your son like a free t-shirt?”

Me: “Sure. [Son], say thank you.”

Son: “Thank you.” *sees snacks* “Can I have some [Crunchy, Orange Snack]?”

Saleswoman: *looking BEHIND me* “You’d better ask Mom first.”

My Friend: *still behind me* “I’m not his mom.”

Me: *gives saleswoman a dirty look* “Sure, [Son]. But you have to eat them later.”

(FYI: Dads CAN make decisions and not every woman near a kid is Mom!)

(A customer comes in with an old catalogue and discovers the item he wants is no longer that price.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, that catalogue ended three-days ago. See the start and end dates on the front?

Customer: “I don’t give a f*** about where you’ve got dates. The price is in writing so you have to honour it! I know my rights!”

Related:
A Catalog Of Errors, Part 2
A Catalog Of Errors

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Tire Shop].”

Customer: “I’m looking for a price on 10 ply [Brand] mud tires for my truck.”

Me: “Certainly, let me look at the computer and see what the price is on those… Looks like the price is [price] each.”

Customer: “No, that’s too high. I can get them somewhere else for [impossibly low price below wholesale].”

Me: “Well, in that case I’d get them for that price, because I can’t even get them for that price.”

Customer: *stammers, then is suddenly angry* “Uh… ah… are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Huh, what?”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Not at all, I’m just saying that wherever you found them for [low price] sounds like a good deal because that’s below what I could possibly get them for. Where did you even find them for that price? I might want to get some at that price, provided they’re not used or stolen.”

Customer: *click*