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If Only He’d Stayed Home And Ordered Online

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: DOC_BOYD | February 5, 2022

I work in an auto shop and recently became a manager there. My boss warned me that the higher you go in retail, the harder it gets to deal with customers. I thought he was joking because I’ve had pretty chill and downright friendly customers for the majority of my time working there.

But this one customer actually makes my blood boil. I’m not a violent or angry person by any means, but he really tests my patience.

First, he walks into the store and shows me the product he needs on his phone. He has already visited the website, so he already knows what he is looking for.

All right, cool. This’ll be a quick transaction. I get the product for him and go to my register. As I’m about to scan it, he hits me with this.

Customer: “I’d like to use this code.”

He shows me an online code on his phone. I stare at him.

Me: “Are you planning to buy the product online?”

Customer: “No, I want to use the code in here.”

Me: “I can’t use that code. You can only use it online.”

Customer: “But it’s your store. It’s the same thing; it’s your website.”

Me: “I’m aware that the website and our store have the same name, but we have no control over whatever happens online.”

Customer: “Where’s the manager?”

I’m giddy on the inside to finally be able to use this line.

Me: “I am the manager. And I’m telling you that this code is not going to work in the store.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just honor it?”

Me: “Honor what? There’s nothing to honor, because this is an online code, and you are currently in the store. In-store purchases and online purchases are completely separate things. It’s not going to work.”

Customer: “I didn’t see you type it in.”

Never taking my eyes off him, I proceed to type in the code and move the monitor so he can see it. I hit enter and nothing happens

Customer: *Pauses* “Well, something’s wrong with your computers, because the other stores have done this for me.”

Me: *Almost losing my temper* “There’s no way our other stores have done this. The code is supposed to be used online, so if they were to type in the computer at the store, they would’ve gotten the same result as me. Nothing.”

The customer makes a big huff and finally goes into his email to pull up a coupon that can be used in the store.

Customer: “I’ll be calling corporate about this.”

Me: “You do that.”

I relayed the entire interaction with this guy to my boss, and he laughed his a** off, and even his boss lost it when he told him.

I’m all good now, but man, that customer was not listening to a word I said.

Your “Emergency” Is Not In Alignment With Reality

, , , | Right | December 27, 2021

I live in a vacation destination. Expensive lakeshore homes are often owned by wealthy families from big cities. I also work in automotive.

A guy comes in and wants some maintenance done, specifically an alignment. Alignments are NEVER an emergency. The good news is that he gets to talk to my business partner. I’m not really paying attention because she greeted him and I’m doing whatever.

My partner talks to him about scheduling. The customer wants it done first because he had new tires put on before he left the big city but didn’t want to pay their prices for further service and is on vacation here.

My partner reiterates the schedule and tells him if he wants to drop the vehicle off and leave it, if we get an opening or cancellation, we will do our best to get it in. I’m now paying some attention. This is a male-dominated industry and some people get a bit abusive to her, especially customers.

Customer: “Nope. I’m from [Big City] and you need to do it now.”

Business Partner: “Sir, in order to do that, I would have to start calling customers we have already made commitments to and tell them we cannot honor them.”

Customer: “Well, missy, you’re just going to have to start calling them, or I will.”

At this point, I have had enough. I simply look over at him and explain to him:

Me: “There is no circumstance in which I will work on your vehicle.”

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re about to be fired.”

Me: *Shrugging* “No problem. For a check for several million dollars, I’ll have the lawyer draw up the agreement, and you can fire both of us and try to convince the techs to work directly for you, but I’m pretty certain, given the bonus I will promise them for change of ownership, that none of them will be in a position to work for someone with your attitude.”

I did end up escorting him to the door. It was over a decade ago. I will never forget him.

The Customer Is About To Ignite

, , , | Right | December 16, 2021

A woman brings her car in.

Customer: “What would it cost to replace the EGR valve?”

She then promptly spends the next ten minutes running down the shop that has been ripping her off for years, explaining how EVERY TIME she brought her car in to them, they said it was this, and when that didn’t fix it, so she had to pay more…

Me: “So, would you like me to fix the car or replace the EGR valve? They may not be the same thing.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “We could inspect the vehicle, identify the faults, and make a recommendation based on our findings.”

Customer: “You would charge me for that?”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Customer: “No, just change the EGR valve. They already told me what’s wrong with it! You guys are all alike!”

I write up the repair order, specifying, “Replace EGR valve per customer request.” I call her a couple of hours later and tell her the EGR valve has been replaced.

Customer: “It still runs terrible! You didn’t even change it, did you?!”

Me: “Of course, we replaced it. I have your old EGR valve right here, along with the large chunk of carbon that had blocked it open. We took the liberty of inspecting the engine after the work was done so I would be able to explain to you why it’s still running so badly. If you’ll look right here, you can plainly see the ignition spark escaping the plug wire arcing to the cylinder head. The chunk of carbon that blocked the EGR open resulted from unburned fuel entering your exhaust. You need a tune-up. I have that estimate for you right here, and as soon as you pay for the work we’ve already done, I’ll get started on it.”

Customer: “Why should I have to pay for that? You didn’t fix it!”

Me: “Because you asked us to, as evidenced by this signed repair order, which expressly authorizes a mechanic’s lien in lieu of payment for services rendered. If you choose not to pay this bill, I’ll place your vehicle in storage at $19 per day until such time as I can apply for a permit to sell the vehicle.”

She politely paid the bill and paid upfront for the tune-up. The next day, she drove away in her perfectly running car.

Might As Well Be Using Snake Oil

, , , | Right | December 12, 2021

I work in the automotive department of a store, and I know absolutely nothing about cars. The only reason I got the job was because I applied for the wrong one.

A guy comes up to me holding a bottle of chainsaw oil.

Customer: “Is this the same as automotive oil?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but I’m not 100% sure. May I get a coworker who would know? He used to own his own car shop.”

Customer: *Ranting.* “How stupid! You should obviously know these things! They’re 100% the same thing! I’m in the car business, and you should be thanking me on the free education!”

With that, he storms off. I ask my coworker later and apparently, they are definitely not the same, and putting chainsaw oil in your car can seriously screw up the engine. I wonder if he’ll be back…

This Trip To The Garage Is Going To Cost You. A Lot.

, , , , | Legal | November 3, 2021

I’m working in a garage. I’m finding it really difficult to learn and fit in. I’m finding myself walking on eggshells already when this customer walks in.

Customer: “Hey! Can you look at my car?”

I’m clearly busy; I’m under a car struggling to loosen a bolt.

Me: “Yeah, give me a minute.”

I struggle some more and finally get it loose. Before I can even move:

Customer: “Come on, mate! I need to get to work!”

Me: “Yeah? And it’s just me here, you didn’t call ahead, and you can see the yard is full. I’m clearly busy.”

The man starts to get in my face.

Customer: “You need to watch your mouth.”

I’m not a big guy, but I am still carrying the massive wrench.

Me: “Or what?”

Customer: “Just look at my car, will you?!”

The car looks a mess at the front, bracket, bumper, and light, scuffs down the side, and the wheel looks bent in.

Me: “What is this, your getaway car?”

Customer: “Err, no, just had an accident, that’s all.”

Me: “All right, leave it there. I will get someone to call with a price.”

Thankfully, he left. I fully intended to just not look at the car and give it to one of the other guys. But all my jobs took less time than I thought, so I gave it a look over.

Clearly, the car had been driven hard. The tyres were balding, there was damage all over, the seat belts were ripped, and it was filthy inside. I turned a blind eye to the small packet of white powder, but then I noticed the orange cap of a used needle.

Nope, they don’t pay me enough. I shut the door and called the police. They turned up pretty quickly and took the car. They didn’t confirm, but I got the idea that they had been looking for this car.

My boss gave me an earful as “some of the customers don’t appreciate when cars get taken away by the police.” I told him exactly what he and his customers could do and quit there and then.

Apparently, the garage had more of a reputation than I realised; I found a job at another garage who told me that the place was well known in the trade and, up until recently, would have police presence every month.