The Useless Adventures Of Mr. F****** Friendly!

, , , , , , | Working | March 5, 2020

(It’s April in Minnesota, which means it’s pothole season. Because of this, I find myself standing in a long line at a local discount tire place. There are about six of us in line and one employee. This poor guy is trying his best but just can’t keep up.) 

Employee: *into walkie* “Assistance to the front, please.”

(After ten minutes of no one coming to help, the phone starts ringing.)

Employee: *into walkie* “Assistance to the front, please.”

(Ten more minutes pass with no help and still ring… ring… ring…)

Employee: *voice breaking a bit now* “Assistance to the front, please.” 

(At this point, I’m not even mad about waiting anymore. I just feel bad for this guy and am seriously contemplating answering the phone and just putting whoever it is on hold. Cue the entrance of Mr. F****** Friendly.) 

Mr. F****** Friendly: *saunters in, coffee in hand* “Well, hey there, everyone! Looks like we got a busy one today! I only just heard the page, so I rushed up to help! Good thing I came over here from [Sister Location]; these guys sure need my help!” *ignores the still-ringing phone* 

Employee: “Before you help, can you find the keys to [car] so we can start that job? The customer said they were in the drop-off box and I haven’t had a chance to look.” 

Mr. F****** Friendly: “Yeah, I checked, didn’t see them.”

Employee: “Weird, can you check again?” 

Mr. F****** Friendly: “Sure! Uh, where is your guys’ box?” 

Employee: *points* 

(I don’t know what happened. The spirit just gets to me in this moment and I turn into my mother.) 

Me: “So, what you’re saying is you didn’t check the box?” 

Mr. F****** Friendly: *surprised* “Well no.” 

Me: “Then why did you say you did when you didn’t? If you’re going to lie, at least put a little effort into it.” 

Mr. F****** Friendly: *quiets down, grabs the keys, and FINALLY answers the d*** phone*

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Unfiltered Story #186896

, | Unfiltered | February 16, 2020

My coworker takes a customer call one day and relays the conversation to us afterwards.

Customer: “I need a new side mirror for my car!”

Coworker: “Okay, that’ll be [fairly low amount], and we can get it fixed as soon as [date]. When can you bring the car in?”

Customer: “Well, I have school stuff, so I want to use your service where you come get my car and bring it back when you’re done.”

Coworker: “I apologize, ma’am, but we don’t have that service.” *We have done this before, but only for very high dollar jobs with special conditions, such as a sick or older customer – and always on a case by case basis approved by management* “We can definitely work with your schedule, though! When works best for you?”

Customer: “But I need my car fixed! And I’m going out of town soon, and I have all these tests for school… I need you to pick up my car to fix it!”

Coworker: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am. We do have an after-hours drop box if bringing it in early or later would work better for you. Or, since it’s a very small job, we could even do it while you wait one day.”

Customer: “But I need my car fixed now!”

He Motor Boated Himself

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2019

(My husband and I own a mobile marine repair business. We do not have a shop; we repair boats dockside or in a person’s backyard. I have submitted several stories about things that happened at our business but this one really shows the stubbornness of some people. Keep in mind that we charge a minimum of $100 to even look at a customer’s boat and then give advice, so we are paid many times just for our expertise. We get a call in March from a gentleman about getting his boat ready for spring. My husband sees ice in the motor.)

Husband: “Um, sir. Did you winterize this boat?”

(Winterizing a boat entails several things. The biggest step is making sure all the water is drained out of the boat and motor before cold weather hits.)

Owner: “Winterize?” *laughs* “This is the South. That is why I moved here to get away from all the cold weather. You don’t have to winterize anything down here.”

Husband: “While we don’t normally have the cold weather you see further north, we do get temps below freezing during the winter months; plus, you have stored this in your yard in the shade underneath a tree canopy. This motor is full of ice and I don’t even want to think about the ice that may be under the deck. The only thing I can suggest you do is get a heat lamp out here and put under the boat. Let it warm it up for a couple of days and then we can see if the motor is damaged. I won’t charge you to come back and check on it.”

Owner:What?! That is ridiculous. You have no idea what you are talking about. It didn’t get cold enough for ice to form. You have the keys; just start it up.”

Husband: “No, sir. I will not be responsible for what will happen.” 

(My husband wrote on the invoice what was wrong and that the customer was ignoring advice, and insisted that the owner sign it. Then, he handed the man his boat keys. The owner told him he was being silly, climbed up in the boat, and started it up. The motor roared to life and owner smirked at my husband. A few seconds later, there was a huge boom which jolted the boat partway off the trailer, the motor stopped, and black smoke poured out. He stood in the boat, stunned, for several minutes. Embarrassed, he asked my husband to look at it . My husband told him he wouldn’t even have to. The motor was blown and the guy ended up doing over $20K worth of damage to the motor and boat. Why pay us for our expertise and advice if you aren’t going to listen to it?)

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I Question Your Way Of Questioning

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2019

(I am a female secretary at a family-owned automotive repair shop. Though I have had no experience with vehicles before this job, I have learned a great deal, not only about vehicles, but about the owner’s preferences when it comes to dealing with customers. The shop is named after my boss, so most customers tend to ask for him directly. In an attempt to weed out those who don’t REALLY need to talk to him, I try to get as much information as possible from the customers. I am sitting at my desk and there is a customer waiting in the lobby when a gentleman walks in.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how can I help you today?”

(The customer describes what would be considered a custom job.)

Me: “Okay, sir, with jobs like these, [Boss] likes to discuss it personally with the customer. So, if I could get some contact and vehicle information, he will give you a call as soon as he can.”

Customer: “Can I just talk to him now?”

Me: *knowing the boss is busy with another vehicle* “He’s busy at the moment, but I promise he will give you a call.”

Customer: *getting aggravated* “I just want to ask him a question!”

(I end up going to the back and getting my boss, explaining the situation to him.)

Boss: “Hey! How can I help you?”

(The customer goes on to describe the job again.)

Boss: “Okay! Well, if you give [My Name] all of your information, I will give you a call later to discuss it all with you.”

Customer: *noticeably calmer* “Okay, sounds good!”

(After he leaves, the customer waiting in the lobby looks over to me.)

Customer #2: “Didn’t you say that?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer #2: “I hope that doesn’t happen often.”

Me: “You’d be surprised.”

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Unfiltered Story #159885

, , , | Unfiltered | August 4, 2019

(I am involved in a minor fender-bender that results in the driver’s side of the hood being dented in and the side mirror knocked off. My parents have my boyfriend and I take the car to the repair shop for an estimate, and are given a $3000 and three-day repair job, which my boyfriend (who is in school for automotive repair) had originally estimated at $300. Shocked at the price and still being on my family’s car insurance, I ask for a copy of the paperwork to show to parents so we can discuss our options. We decided that we don’t have much of a choice, so my mother calls the shop to schedule the repairs.)

Mother: Hi, my name is ________, and my daughter and her boyfriend were in yesterday to get an estimate on a repair job?
Technician (laughing like he knows something she doesn’t): Oh, yeah, I remember those two.
Mother: I’m sorry, what do you mean?
Technician (in a falsetto voice): Ohh, I have to go talk to my Daddy about these prices! (laughs)
Mother: I’m sorry, I don’t get what’s so funny here!
Technician: (silence)
Mother: She did the right the thing, she’s still on our insurance, and she was very scared, and right now, we are just very happy that no one was injured in this accident! You shouldn’t be laughing and making jokes about this!
Technician: …So anyways, if you want to bring in the car tommorow, we can start working on it.

(Both my parents were furious with this guy, who seemed to always make sure he was never in the waiting room or answering the phone whenever my parents stopped in. We continued to have more problems with this shop (such as them not calling us or the car rental company when they kept the car three days past the esitmated repair time) and have had issues with this same man mocking my mother and I the last time we took a car in after an accident. We definetly will not be going there again.)