Pulling The Emergency Brake On A Big Stupid
Nearly twenty-five years ago now, I worked a part-time summer job for a national automotive parts chain. The manager and assistant managers were pretty good people, and my fellow hourly people were all good, too, always willing to help each other and the customers. We were all a bunch of wrenchheads, and if one couldn’t answer a customer’s question, someone else on duty probably could. Most customers were okay and knew what they were doing, and if not, they appreciated the help. But there are always exceptions.
A customer walked into the store and asked for some quarter-inch ID (inner diameter) hose. We had several sizes on 100-foot-plus reels in the back, and we’d cut off whatever the customer needed from the reel. I got the hose and brought it to the counter. This stuff was non-reinforced neoprene tubing used for vacuum hoses, vents, windshield washer fluid, etc. It is usually held onto whatever it’s going to connect with a knob or the end of the fitting or a barb. It has been too long now to remember the exact price, but this stuff is cheap — maybe twenty-five cents a foot.
Then, he wanted some hose clamps — the worm and gear type for this hose. They don’t make that type of clamp that small. I told him this and asked him what he was trying to do.
Customer: “Replace my front brake hoses.”
Me: “Sir, this hose can’t take that kind of pressure. It will fail, if not immediately, very soon. Besides, this type of rubber is not compatible with brake fluid. Brake fluid softens this compound and will eventually eat through it. What make and year is your car? I’m sure we can fix you up with the correct hoses.”
Customer: “No, I called up here earlier, and they are $25 each. I’m selling this car anyway, so I don’t care about how long it will last as long as it works for a test drive.”
Me: “You want to sell your car to some unsuspecting person who will absolutely experience a catastrophic brake failure sooner rather than later?”
Customer: “That will be their problem. What do I owe you for the hose?”
Me: “I can’t sell you this hose knowing you’re going to do something like that. We will not participate in such a crime.”
Customer: “What? I want to speak to your manager right now!”
I just turned and looked at the manager, who had been finishing up with another customer and had come down the counter to stand right behind me.
Manager: “We’ll be glad to help you with the correct and safe parts. Otherwise, get out.”
Customer: “I do a lot of business with this store. I’ll never come back here again.”
And he walked out.
I had seen this guy before, and he purchased a few things now and then. Somehow, I think we will survive without him.
[Manager] went to the door to see what the guy was driving. It was evening and after dusk, so he couldn’t get the plates. In this town, there were about a dozen auto parts stores, but only three were national chains that were open until 9:00 seven days per week. The rest were locally owned and operated and open until 6:00 six days per week. [Manager] called the other open stores and warned them about the homicidal idiot.
I’m not sure what happened after that, but I did not read in the paper about any car accidents involving brake failure, and the customer was back a week or so later buying stuff like oil and filters.