A Large Number Of Number Calls

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I own a used auto parts store, primarily operating off of eBay. On the top of every listing in the “Condition” area, there is a disclaimer telling the customer that the only way to get the correct unit is if they match their part number off their unit with the one I am selling. There is another disclaimer in the “Description” area. There is another disclaimer on the very bottom in an area marked “Compatibility,” and there is a giant button on the right of the screen saying, “Will This Unit Fit My Car,” which takes you to a page telling you that you have to match the part number in order to make sure the part is correct for your car. I get this phone call more than once a day:)

Me: “Hello, [Store].”

Caller: “Yes, I see your listing you have on eBay for [part].”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “I want to know if it will match [Car].”

Me: “Does the part number match with the number off your original unit?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, that will be your first step; you need to match it up in order to make sure it will fit your car.”

Caller: “What I have is a [year, Make, and Model].”

Me: “Sure, but you still have to match the number. This unit might be for a car with different options than yours.”

Caller: “Mine is a [transmission option] with [trim].”

Me: “You still have to match the number to know if it will work.”

Caller: “Well, my VIN is [a thousand letters and numbers].”

Me: “You would have to match the number on the part.”

Caller: “Which number is that?”

Me: “The manufacturer’s part number… of the part.”

Caller: “And where is that located?”

Me: “On the part in your car that you’re looking to replace.”

Caller: “So, this part here you’re selling online will not match my car?”

Me: “It might, or it might not. The only way to know would be to match the number.”

Caller: *incredulously* “All righty… Bye-bye.” *click*

(MORE… THAN… ONCE… A DAY.)

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No One Cares About Your Internal Plumbing

, , , , , | Working | May 30, 2018

(I work in an auto parts store. I am one of two females in the whole store, and there are two bathrooms, each a single room set up with one toilet, but they do both have signs for a specific gender. We don’t particularly care about the arbitrary women and men assignments; other than one having bars for the handicapped, there isn’t a difference between the two. One of the male drivers sees that the men’s room is occupied, so he takes the women’s. No big deal. But he notices the sink is backing up. The driver goes to my male coworker, who is the acting assistant manager.)

Driver: *to coworker* “The sink in the women’s bathroom is draining really slow.”

Coworker: “So?”

Driver: “Uh, well, I mean, I thought I should tell you.”

Coworker: “I identify as a man. I’m a guy.”

Driver: *obviously and understandably confused* “Uh… but—”

Coworker: “I identify as a male!”

Me: “Seriously? It’s all right, [Driver], I’ll take care of it.”

(To this day I can’t figure out if he was just making a really unfunny attempt at humor, or was being lazy, or what, but from other conversations I’ve had with him, I am sadly leaning towards him just being so bigoted he can’t even hear about plumbing problems in a “female” bathroom.)

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This Stupidity Comes In Stereo

, , , , , | Right | February 14, 2018

(A customer comes in complaining that her trunk lid on her car is making noise.)

Me: “Did you recently install a stereo system or speaker box in the car?”

Customer: “Yes, my boyfriend installed a new system.”

Me: “The rattling is probably caused by the vibrations. We sell sound deadener sheets, or you can tighten up all the screws and nuts in the trunk area.”

Customer: *clearly getting mad now* “Well, can’t you just come outside and look at it? It is not the stereo!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Let’s go outside and take a look.”

(We do so.)

Customer: “See? I told you it is rattling.”

Me: *hardly containing my laughter* “Well, ma’am, the rattling is the bass from the stereo box. If you—”

Customer: *interrupting* “NO, NO, NO! It isn’t that. See what happens when I do this…”

(She turns up the stereo and it gets worse. I’m trying to think how I can get out of this.)

Me: “Um, yeah, about that… Best thing I can tell you is… Yeah, I have nothing. Maybe you need to take it by a shop.”

Customer: “Hmph! I will go somewhere else where they know what they are doing!”

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And This Person Is Trusted To Read Road Signs?

, , , , , | Right | January 29, 2018

(I own an online auto parts store, and this is a common phone call that I get every day.)

Me: “[Auto Parts Store].”

Customer: “Hi, I saw your ad online for car part and was wondering if you have it in stock.”

Me: “Was there a ‘buy it now’ button?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then it’s in stock.”

Customer: “Does it fit a 2005?”

Me: “What does it say in the heading?”

Customer: “2004 through 2007.”

Me: “Yes, it fits a 2005.”

Customer: “How much are you asking for it?”

Me: “How much does it say on the listing?”

Customer: “$35.”

Me: “$35.”

Customer: “Will you take $30?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Okay, I’m not even sure if that’s the problem I have with the car. I’ll find out, and if it turns out I need this part, I’ll be in touch with you.” *click*

Me: “…”

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An Auto Comeback

, , , , | Related | January 16, 2018

(My mother and I go into an auto parts store and notice the only one working is a female employee.)

Mom: *groans* “I don’t like women looking at my car. I don’t think they know what they’re doing.”

Me: “Didn’t you used to work at [Other Auto Store]?”

Mom: “Don’t catch an attitude with me.”

(The female employee was very knowledgeable and helpful, but I did get in trouble for “smart-mouthing!”)

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