He’s Playing With Fire(d)

, , , , , | Working | August 28, 2019

(The auto parts store where I work offers a full-time position to a guy who interviews well and has extensive retail experience. Over the course of three weeks, we begin to suspect he lied on his resume. He’ll stick behind the counter doing nothing instead of tidying the store or helping customers. We offer to help train him further but he doesn’t seem to care. It becomes abundantly clear that he is not suited to the role so he is called into a meeting with our manager and store owner to be fired.)

Coworker: *storming out of the office* “You’re going to regret this! You can’t fire me!”

Manager: “[Coworker], you need to leave now.”

Coworker: “F*** you, [racial slur]. I was too good for this job, anyway!”

Manager: “Excuse me? What did you just call me?!”

Coworker: *runs to hide in his car*

Manager: *walks out to the car and knocks on window* “[Coworker], you need to leave or I’m calling security. But first I expect an apology for what you called me.”

Coworker: “F*** you, a**hole. I hope you lose your job, too!” *drives off*

(After he was fired, he set up multiple Facebook and Google accounts to leave negative reviews about our business, which were thankfully removed. I still see him occasionally when I visit back home, and he scurries off quickly.)


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That’s Just Not Cool

, , , , , , | Working | March 25, 2019

(I am working as a tire technician at an auto parts store that also does car repairs. I am always early to work, but at this job I often show up before the store opens when the store manager is not there yet. He is the only one with the key to the store, and we cannot get in until he shows up. After he lets us in, we have to stand in line to clock in on the only terminal set up for that. As a result, I often clock in late but I don’t think anything about it as my direct supervisor is often just as late. One day my future wife — at this time just a close friend — brings her car in to have the A/C worked on since I don’t have the equipment or the time to do it at home. The A/C specialist does the work and the night service writer writes it up with my discount. She picks the car up the next day. That night I get a call from her that the car has overheated for the first time ever and asks if I could look at it. The coolant is low, but when I add more it doesn’t seem to be leaking until the car is running, but it isn’t coming out onto the ground. While I am trying to figure it out, I discover that the carpet in the back seat of the car is wet, and after a little more investigation I find out that coolant is coming out of a hole in the heater core and running through the back seat vents. I pull it out and find a small hole poked into the side of the heater core. Immediately, I take it back to the night service writer. He gets a part off the shelf for me and writes it off. I fix the car and then go back the next morning to talk to the service manager.)

Me: “Yeah, I pulled the heater core and found this tiny little hole poked into the side, right on a seam; it had to have been done on purpose.”

Service Manager: “You’re right; that couldn’t have been an accident. He shouldn’t have needed to do any work inside the car.”

(Just then, the day service writer — my direct supervisor and the son of my friend’s coworker — comes into the service office.)

Service Writer: “You should have told me that was your car!”

(I looked at him for several seconds like he was crazy and then calmly said, “I quit.” I told my future wife, and she understood how ethics can be a burden. I don’t think she ever told her coworker, though. I had never applied for unemployment benefits before, but I then found out that I was eligible if I quit for cause. I wrote it up and turned it in. Later, I got the denial in the mail, not because they didn’t believe my explanation, but because the company claimed that I had been late over fifty times! By that time I had another job and fighting it was not worth it.)

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Crime Is Never Excused

, , , , , | Legal | January 21, 2019

(I am standing at the till when a customer approaches me with a set of driving lights. They normally cost $350; however, they have been put on a clearance price of $200. While I have some power to adjust prices, I can’t on this particular item, as the store would already be losing money at the clearance price.)

Customer: “How much are these?”

Me: “As the ticket says, they would cost you $200.”

Customer: “Can you do a better price on them?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. They normally cost $350 and are already on clearance for $200; that’s the best I can do.”

Customer: *stands and looks back and forth between the lights and me for a minute* “Fine. I’m just going to take them, then.”

(I assume he means buying them until he starts walking to the exit, lights in hand.)

Me: “Excuse me, but no. You need to pay for those.”

Customer: “You’re excused, bye!”

(Unfortunately, it seems this guy was an old pro at this, as he was riding a bicycle and therefore, we had no vehicle registration to provide the police, and while we have surveillance cameras, the glare made the guy’s face so obscured, it could not be made out.)

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Next Year All Cars Will Be Blue

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2019

(I’m a manager at an auto parts store. This is a rather common discussion.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need parts for my truck.”

Me: “Okay, what year and model is your truck?”

Customer: “Black.”

Me: “Sir, I need information about your truck like the year, make, and model before I can help.”

Customer: “Well, how should I know?”

Me: “Is your truck outside?”

Customer: “No, I need parts for it!”

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This Customer Has Blown Another Kind Of Valve

, , , | Right | November 3, 2018

(It is my first week at a new job, and I have been lucky that most of the “regulars” recognize that I am new to this store and try to help me help THEM. One customer comes in with a part and drops it onto the counter in front of me, ignoring the customer I’m already waiting on.)

Customer: “I need one of these, and I AIN’T GOT ALL F****** DAY!”

(I recognize the general part as being a valve and ask what it goes on — what does it do?)

Customer: “My truck, smarta**!” *not the answer we need*

(At this point the customer that was already in front of me looks over and says:)

Regular Customer: “That looks like a [specific type of valve]. What kind of truck does it go on?”

(The customer ignores the regular customer and just glares at me, so I ask him the same question.)

Me: “Sir, what kind of truck does it go on?”

Customer: “My red one!”

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