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Typo-Woah

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2021

I work part-time in a copy shop in a small shopping centre, and we frequently get some “interesting” customers. This one in particular sticks out in my mind, though the whole thing happened to my coworker.

An older man comes in, asking for twenty-five copies of a document he brought with him. He seems a bit strange, ranting to himself about something or other under his breath, but he gets his copies and leaves without complaint. Before leaving, however, he gives my coworker one of the copies he’s just purchased.

A few minutes later, an employee of the store across from ours comes over, laughing to herself, asking us if the man had his copies made in our shop. Apparently, he has been handing out these sheets of paper to everyone in the building.

Now curious, my coworker and I decide to read the man’s paper. I don’t recall exactly what he has written, but it is a two-page, near-incoherent rant about the government, society, and people who refuse to take him seriously. Somewhere in there, there is the sentence, “I have fallen on deaf ears with my friends, and so, now, I turn to my enemies,” and a declaration that he is planning to form a new political party.

We have a good laugh about this man’s paranoid rants, but the best part is when he returns about ten minutes later.

Customer: “Excuse me, I have a complaint!”

Coworker: “What seems to be the problem?”

He hands my coworker one of the copies he had made.

Customer: “You made a mistake with these copies! See here!

He points out a sentence in the first paragraph.

Customer: “There’s a spelling mistake here! You made a typo with my copies!”

Coworker: *After a short moment of shocked silence* “Sir, first of all, I copied a sheet of paper you gave me; there was no way I could have made a typo. Secondly, this sheet is handwritten.”

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The Drink He Deserved If Not The One He Wanted

, , , , | Friendly | December 22, 2020

It’s late evening. I’m a woman in my thirties, and I’m the only person waiting at a dark tram stop when an unkempt old guy comes by. He eyes the soda bottle I just drank from.

Guy: “Give me that bottle! I want to have a drink!”

Me: “That’s tap water I filled up around noon. Are you sure you want that?”

Guy: *Angrily* “I said I want to have a drink!”

I shrug, surrender the bottle, and watch him take a big gulp and become very disappointed. He hands it back as if it was a used diaper.

Guy: *Hurt* “That’s disgusting! I wanted something strong! Why would you give me water?! That was mean!”

I point toward the direction my highly anticipated tram will hopefully be coming from very soon.

Me: “If you want alcohol, there was an old man slowly carrying a big red bag full of wine bottles right before you arrived here. He can’t have gone far; if you are quick enough, you can probably catch up with him and make him share.”

Thankfully, the idea of mugging imaginary Santa got him excited enough to leave, and my tram arrived not too long later. I had been clutching my knife from the moment he spoke to me.

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E-Read My Lips: No!

, , , | Right | December 21, 2020

Our bookshop sells e-readers, and like a lot of electronic devices, they are relatively expensive.

Customer: “No, €179 is too much for it. Can’t you give me a discount?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t give discounts on these.”

She thinks about it for a while and then her face lights up.

Customer: “I produced an audiobook.”

Me: “That’s lovely?”

Customer: “It’s a beautiful composition of texts and music, perfect for the Christmas season. It comes up to €90. What do you say, I exchange an audiobook for an e-reader?”

Me: *Pause* “We’re a company. We sell products, not exchange goods. Besides, the math doesn’t add up.”

Customer: “But it’s so expensive.”

Me: “I’ll let you think about it for a moment.”

She eventually left!

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You’ll Want A Different Kind Of Store For That

, , | Right | December 15, 2020

A woman is looking for a gift for a baby. We don’t have much stuff for babies, but we show her some onesies and a bib with teddy bears on it.

Woman: “Is this bib for a newborn or adult?”

I felt something between confused and disturbed.

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Another Exhibit In The Case Of “Why Nurses Should Rule The World”

, , , , , | Healthy | December 3, 2020

My parents are with my severely disabled sister who is being prepped for an operation. We take care of her at home and have a live-in nurse, but she still ends up in the hospital every few months, so the nurses are quite familiar with my family.

Nurse: “Would you like to remove your daughter’s nail polish?”

Mother: “Is it really necessary?”

Nurse: “Well, yes. We need to be able to see her nails during the operation to make sure she’s getting enough oxygen.”

Mother: “Oh, I see. It’s only that my other daughter painted her nails before going to college, and she won’t be back home for months. She went all the way to America and we can’t afford to bring her back every time [Sister] is hospitalized.”

Nurse: “Ach, I’m very sorry.”

She makes small talk with my parents while removing the nail polish. There are no comments about how my sister wouldn’t understand or even notice the nail polish, just reassuring chatter.

When they wheeled my sister back after the operation, my mother broke down in tears; they’d repainted my sister’s nails. When my mother told me about it, I teared up, too.

I still think of that nurse’s kindness — how she must’ve left the hospital to get nail polish of a similar shade and then painted my sister’s tiny nails. It sounds like such a small thing, but it was so completely outside her job scope and so sweet of her. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.


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