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Be The Extra Change You Want To See In The World

, , , , | Right | March 23, 2018

(I’ve just started work in a coffee shop. A group of teenagers walk in and order, and I think that’s the end of them, until one of the girls walks up while I’m taking the next customer’s order.)

Me: “I’m sorry. You’ll have to join the line—”

Girl: “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. But I counted our change and you gave us an extra $20.”

(She holds out a $20 note for me. Stunned, I let it stay there for a second, before finally processing that someone had just complained about being given too much change.)

Me: “Oh! Thank you.”

Girl: “It’s rush hour and you’re the only one in here; I can’t blame you. Have a nice day, all right?” *walks away*

(It was the best day I’d had in a long time!)

You’re Just Shopping, They’re Just Trippin’

, , , , , , , , | Right | January 20, 2018

(I work in a large retail chain in Australia. As it is currently summer here, my long work pants are really hot. I’m in the store I work in, after my shift — so, still dressed in uniform — looking for a suitable skirt to buy and wear on my shifts and not boil my legs. A lady approaches me.)

Customer: “Could you help me find [pants] in size 12?”

Me: “Of course. Let me check the tag.”

(I find the pants quite quickly and show her we have sizes 6-22 — in Australian sizes this basically means there would be a pair to fit the vast majority of people — while handing her size 12.)

Customer: “And what about the top I asked for?”

(I’m certain she said nothing about a top to me, and she refuses to “repeat” herself. I tell her that in that case, there’s nothing more I can do for her and continue my own shopping. She doesn’t say anything but follows me around for the full ten minutes it takes me to find a suitable skirt. It’s pretty creepy.)

Customer: “Carrying that handbag, you almost look like you’re shopping!” *laughs*

Me: “I am shopping.”

Customer: *laughs*

(I’m apparently hilarious without even knowing it.)

Customer: *whining* “I really need that top!”

(I directed her to speak to my manager at the fitting rooms. She demanded my help. I repeated that my shift was finished, I really was just shopping, and I was helping her out of the goodness of my heart and without being paid. She complained to my very short-tempered manager about my “conduct,” and the manager reaffirmed that I was shopping, not working. This set off the ultimate conundrum in the customer’s mind and she got more and more agitated until she was removed by security for attempting to cut people with disposable razors. It was the craziest thing I’d ever seen. My coworkers and I still lunge at each other with [packaged, completely harmless] disposable razors for a joke.)

A Leap Of Logic

, , , , | Learning | September 8, 2017

(I teach third grade, and we are talking about diversity. I ask the following question:)

Me: “Which would you hate more: being stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, or having a birthday on the 29th of February?”

(We’d talked about leap years already, and it hadn’t occurred to them that some people might, perhaps, be born then, meaning a birthday celebration only once every four years! Their consensus? The misery of a birthday only every four years was FAR worse than being confined to a wheelchair; after all, wheelchairs were “COOL!”)

Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2015

(A young woman in her late teens approaches the counter — her face is beet red. I’m a new hire and don’t want to deal with her, as she’s clearly angry, but she catches my eye before I can hide in the back.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! What can I get for you today?”

(The woman glares at me, but takes a deep breath and rubs at her eyes– then holds up her hand as though she is physically restraining herself from doing anything stupid.)

Customer: “Look. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I’m really not in a good mood but I’m not angry with you and I’m really sorry you have to deal with me because I’m going to be rude and mean and you don’t deserve that. Okay? Sorry in advance.”

Me: *taken aback* “Er… all right?”

Customer: “Could I f****** get the unhealthiest f****** thing on your f****** menu, please? F***.”

(Here’s the kicker: she was much more polite than most people I dealt with that day!)

 

No Faith In Science

, , , , , , , | Right | January 3, 2011

Child: “What’s the Cretaceous period?”

Mother: “Something scientists made up.”

Me: *chiming in* “It’s the third period that the dinosaurs lived in. It was from about 140-65 million years ago.”

Child: “Really?”

Mother: “The Cretaceous period is just something that scientists made up to dispute Christ.” *turns to face me* “But we won’t get into that.”


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