Isn’t That All Disney?

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

(As the only video game store in a small town, you get to know your customers, and what they look for. One regular is self-described as very Christian, and she wants reasonably specific games for her children. They must contain minimal amounts of violence, lack of nudity, and no swearing. So, when she returns a very popular Disney game, I am quite surprised.)

Me: “Was there something wrong with the game, or didn’t you like the gameplay?”

Customer: “No, it’s not that; it’s just…”

Me: “Just what?”

Customer: “It has magic it in. I don’t like things to do with magic.”

(At this point, I handed the customer off to another sales person, and went out back to convince myself not to rage-quit life.)

Unfiltered Story #105938

, | Unfiltered | February 21, 2018

This time I’m the one shopping. Very worried about my husband getting a motorcycle, I went shopping for protective gear:

Me: “Excuse me, do you have Teflon coated pants?”

Shop assistant: *slightest pause* “Certainly, right this way”.

(It wasn’t until afterwards I realised what I said. He kindly sold me Kevlar pants without batting an eyelid or making a frying pan joke, and I’m sure was laughing afterwards. It was a pointless purchase anyway. The bike landed on his knee and smashed the top of his Tibia. Day one. Not even on the road. Oh well).

If You Ask For Time Off, It’s Your Funeral

, , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

(I have lost my best friend suddenly, just the day before this incident. Since I haven’t received my roster for the following week, I call my boss.)

Me: “Hi, [Boss], since the roster isn’t out yet, I just wanted to ring and let you know that [Friend] passed away yesterday. If I’m rostered on the day of the funeral, I won’t be able to come in.”

Boss: “Do you know when the funeral will be?”

Me: “Well, since it happened yesterday, no, I don’t.”

Boss: “If we had you rostered on that day, would you be able to come to work, go to the funeral, and then come finish the shift?”

Me: *internally yelling at her, but saying calmly* “I don’t think I would be in the best headspace to be dealing with customers that day.”

Boss: “Okay, I have enough people to cover the weekend. Do you think the funeral will be on a Thursday? Do I need to have a cover ready for that, too?”

Me: “Like I said, I don’t know, and I’m not rushing the family into that decision.”

(With barely a word of goodbye, she hung up. The kicker was, I had another job, and when I told them about how I wouldn’t come to work the day of the funeral, they looked at me like I was insane, and said, “We would’ve made sure to give you the day off; of course you wouldn’t have to work that day!”)

Unfiltered Story #105928

, | Unfiltered | February 20, 2018

I was working as a burger flipper / petrol pump assistant in a tiny tourist town on the Great Ocean Road when a terribly rude American tourist asked me the following. Note: Hobart is the capital city in Tasmania, the island State at the bottom of Australia.

Tourist: Excuse me ma’am, could you tell me what is the best time to catch a flight to Hobart?

Me: Well, that depends, when do you need to arrive?

Tourist, suddenly and unexpectedly yelling: Don’t play games with me young lady, I’m not a stupid tourist you know!

Me: ?

Tourist: I KNOW that Tasmania rotates, so it must be cheaper to fly at certain times of day when Hobart is closer to the mainland.

Me: ?!

Tourist: Well? I haven’t got all day.

Me: *speechless*

Captain Picard Would Be Appalled

, , , , , , | Working | February 19, 2018

(I stop at a chain fast food place with a cafe section to buy a tea before I get on the bus.)

Cafe Counter: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Me: “Just a medium Earl Grey, thanks.”

(I pay and wait for my number to be called. When it is, I take my drink and notice a smell that is certainly not Earl Grey. I check the teabag.)

Me: “Excuse me. This is peppermint. I asked for Earl Grey.”

Barista: “We ran out of Earl Grey. They’re pretty much the same flavour, though.”

Me: “Um… No… They’re not?”

Barista: “I’m not sure what you want me to do, honey.”

Me: “Tell me that you ran out, and ask me what I want, instead?”

Barista: “It’s the same thing with different tags. Earl Grey is just a different name for peppermint.”

Me: “It’s not. It’s completely different. And if you don’t have any of what I asked for, I would prefer jasmine over peppermint.”

Barista: “I can make you a jasmine, but you need to pay; there’s nothing wrong with your drink.”

Me: “Is there a manager in?”

Barista: “I’m not bothering a manager for this. You got the drink you ordered, just with a different name.”

(I walk over to the main counter around the corner, ask for the manager there, and explain the situation, and the manager asks me to follow her back to the cafe.)

Manager: “Right.” *goes through cupboards* “New box of Earl Grey…” *puts it in front of the barista* “…which is black tea and bergamot, not peppermint; it’s not even close. New one for the customer, and she gets a free upsize. When you run out of something, get a new box of it out of the cupboard.”

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