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Absolutely The Goodest Boy

, , , , , , | Healthy | September 16, 2022

I work in the bakery of a chain grocery store. Today, I’m alone in the bakery with my coworker, who is about four months pregnant, baking some cookies and boxing them up before we go home for the day.

One of our regulars wanders past and waves as she drops some things into her trolley. As always, her service dog is silently following her with his vest on. I’ve never asked what the dog is for — that seems incredibly rude — but have often wondered as she seems healthy, though I know there are tonnes of invisible illnesses. I’m boxing up some more cookies when I hear our customer talking to her dog.

Regular: “Hey, [Dog]! What the h***?! Heel!”

The dog has walked away from the customer and is sitting at the gate into the bakery, whining and pawing at it. I’ve never seen this dog break focus for even a split second, so I am highly confused. My coworker walks over to the gate to make sure it is latched and the dog starts whining even louder.

By now, the customer has come over and clipped the dog’s lead to its harness again, apologizing profusely.

Regular: “I’m so sorry. He has never done this before; he’s been trained as a service dog since he was a puppy. Come on, [Dog].”

The dog whines and paws at the gate again, refusing to move. The regular looks over the gate at my coworker and squints.

Regular: “Are you diabetic?”

Coworker: “No? I mean, I feel a little gross today, but that’s to be expected.”

My coworker laughs awkwardly and gestures at her bump.

Regular: “I’m sorry to ask this, but could you come on this side of the gate? I promise he won’t hurt you.”

My coworker glances at me and I shrug, still not really getting what’s happening. My coworker goes out the gate and the dog stops whining, instead sniffing my coworker’s hands and legs thoroughly. He takes a step back and then lays down and puts his paws on his nose.

Regular: “Are you sure, [Dog]?”

The dog gives one solid, quiet bark and then gets up and circles my coworker again before spinning in a circle and putting his paw on her knee.

Regular: *To me* “You need to call an ambulance.”

My coworker is suddenly out of her shock.

Coworker: “Oh, no, really, I’m totally fine! Just a bit worn out today.”

Regular: “No, honey. I don’t know if you’ve got gestational diabetes or something else is wrong, but he’s telling me your blood sugar is critically low. That’s why he’s trying to get you to sit down; he thinks you’re going to faint — and you might. He’s never indicated wrong. Do you have juice or some jellybeans?”

I call for my manager and he comes down, agreeing that we should probably call an ambulance to be on the safe side. That’s just as well, because the regular is threatening to do it herself. Luckily, being a small town, a lady walking past overhears and comes over to talk to my coworker. The lady is a nurse, so she is checking my coworker’s pulse on a little stopwatch when my regular starts digging through her bag.

Regular: “Here. I keep this around in case my continuous monitor breaks or something happens to my phone and I can’t read my numbers. I’ve got a fresh lancet here. Do you want to check her sugars?”

She handed the nurse a little blood sugar testing kit and stepped back out of the fray of my manager, my coworker, the nurse, and a couple of other store workers who had come to see what the noise was about. [Regular]’s dog had gone back to being the picture of obedience and was sitting under her trolley out of the way. 

The nurse used the little monitor on my coworker and it beeped and flashed red, the screen not giving us any numbers, just reading “LOW” in big letters. The ambulance arrived a few minutes later and took my coworker away, and we all continued with our day.

A few days later, my coworker came back to work. She showed us the blood sugar monitor she has to use for the rest of her pregnancy and told us that the doctor said it was a miracle she was still conscious at the time with her sugars so low. My coworker was terrified; she’d been planning on finishing up at work and going home to take a nap, which the doctor said would have been absolutely disastrous, even fatal, since she lives alone.

The next time my regular came through, the dog didn’t even glance at my coworker. He did, however, get the biggest meaty bone the butcher department could find for him!

This story is part of our end-of-year Feel Good roundup for 2022!

Read the next Feel Good 2022 story!

Read the Feel Good 2022 roundup!

Spineless Corporate: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

, , , , | Right | September 15, 2022

I work at a rather large chain store that sells costume jewellery. A lady comes in.

Customer: “I want to exchange a necklace.”

She presents the necklace — about a $20 to $30 value — and it’s not from our store but rather a rival store. That is calmly explained.

Customer: *Raising her voice* “Stop making fun of me! I got it from here, and I want to exchange it for a bag I saw last time.”

Me: “We don’t sell bags, but [Rival Store] does.”

Customer: “What horrible service! The bag and the necklace are from this store!”

The rant continues, but we don’t refund her. Eventually, she leaves, vowing never to return again. Fine by me.

She comes in a week later with a gift card head office sent her.

Customer: “You wouldn’t give me a refund, so I called customer support and they gave me a $30 gift card. I’m just here to rub it in your faces.”

And she laughed.

I later found out that, after coming to our store, she pulled the same s*** at another one of our stores who did refund her because they knew the head office wouldn’t stick up for us anyway.

Thirty Brain Cells Hath This Employee…

, , , , , , , | Working | September 15, 2022

Me: “Hi, I want to return this shirt. I have the receipt right here.”

Employee: “Okay, let me have a look. Just so you know, our return policy is within thirty days.”

Me: “Yep, that’s fine; it’s within the time period.”

The employee scans my receipt and then frowns.

Employee: “Ma’am, our return policy is thirty days.”

Me: “Yep.”

Employee: “This was bought on the twelfth of February.”

Me: “That’s right.”

Employee: “Ma’am, it’s the thirteenth of March.”

Me: “Right. So it can be returned.”

Employee: “No, ma’am, it was bought more than a month ago.”

Me: “But less than thirty days ago.”

Employee: “It was bought more than a month ago.”

Me: “It was bought twenty-nine days ago. February had twenty-eight days this year. The return policy is thirty days.”

Employee: “I— I need to get a manager.”

I did get my refund.

You Might Be Bluffing, But It’s Not Worth Finding Out

, , , , , | Legal | September 10, 2022

There have been some break-ins in my area recently, and a rumour says that the thieves have been calling homes pretending to be salespeople to fish for information about when people are at work and the house will be empty. I’m at my parents’ house when they get a phone call.

Man: “Good afternoon, ma’am! I’m from [Security Company] and our company is looking to fit free roller shutters to houses in the area, for advertising purposes.”

I know my parents wouldn’t want that anyway due to how their windows are shaped.

Me: “Go on.”

Man: “Is there a good time we can come over to discuss it? Do you work during the day? Is there any time where no one would be home?”

Me: *Pauses* “You know, actually, I think roller shutters would be really good at our house. My parents and I rehabilitate former attack and guard dogs, and one of them is something of an escape artist. I’m unemployed at the moment so I’m home literally all the time, so you can come whenever. You would need to get really specific about what time you’re coming, though; we have eight dogs at the moment and I would need enough time—”

The man hung up.

My parents have one dog who is elderly and adores strangers. I just couldn’t believe how obvious this guy was being!

The Two-Dollar Punch

, , , , , , | Right | September 9, 2022

In my former life, I was the floor manager of a large computer retailer. We were generally a premium-priced store, but various “buy now, pay later” promotions coupled with aggressive sale pricing with “loss leader” products tended to attract customers who simply couldn’t really afford to otherwise be in our store.

One day, a middle-aged chap pops in. He’s shorter than me but quite agitated. He starts screaming about being ripped off and blabbering whilst waving around a copy of a finance contract.

Trying to calm him down and defuse the scene occurring during our Saturday morning peak time, I take a look at the contract to see if I can work out what was sold to him and by whom (mostly hoping that if they’re about, they’ll disappear for a while).

I notice quickly that the contract isn’t in his name but instead in the name of a woman, who turns out to be his mother. He quickly points out that she is a senior citizen on a pension and cannot afford a monthly surcharge on this contract.

I should point out that this is a $2-per-month surcharge that doesn’t actually need to be paid any time soon; it will accrue until the interest-free period ends and will start to be due then.

Customer: “My mother took out this finance on my behalf because I’m unemployed and my attempts to obtain finance myself failed.”

Oh, dear.

Looking at the contract, I note who the salesperson was: our own franchisee, someone who is a stickler for going through the fine print, and who I know would not have missed details about surcharges on finance contracts.

Me: “Sir, all surcharges were made clear before the contract was signed.

Seriously, we bled this stuff, we did it so often.

At this point, my efforts at calming him down had gone out the window and I saw his arm rise with a fist…

…just in time for him to be pinned from behind by one of the sales guys — one who had recently moved from being a nightclub bouncer to retail, so he was fairly attuned to when things were going down and knew how to react.

This sales guy promptly marched the chap from the store to his car and suggested in no uncertain terms that he think twice about returning.

I worked at one of the most expensive computer retailers in the country, and the first time a customer almost dropped me was over a $2-a-month surcharge on financing the chap couldn’t even afford to compensate his mother for.