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Don’t Give Him A Seat At Your Table

, , , | Right | October 5, 2021

It’s a rainy day, so the mother’s group I meet with weekly has decided to visit a relaxed beachside cafe. We choose one that has plenty of space and is child-appropriate. When we arrive, there is only one other table of two seated so there are dozens of empty tables and chairs to choose from. We choose a more casual setting of two couches near the fireplace and get the kids seated with colouring-in books.

Everyone has a place to sit except me, so I grab a chair from a nearby table and sit it next to the end of the couch where my daughter is sitting. We’ve spoken with a waitress who has taken our drinks order, and all appears to be well.

Suddenly, a man — who I previously had not noticed, I’m not even sure where he came from — approaches me and proceeds to very angrily tell me off about moving the chair I’m sitting on. I first wonder if he works there but quickly realise from his wording that he doesn’t — referring to the restaurant staff as “they” instead of “we,” for example.

Man: “You moved that chair away from its table! The chairs are for paying customers!

I’m trying to be polite even though he’s in my face, but I finally lose my patience.

Me: *Firmly* “I am a paying customer, so I also deserve to sit somewhere.”

All the while, I’m incredulously looking around me at the twenty or so empty tables. He eventually leaves and a waitress approaches to see what is happening.

Me: “Is it okay that I moved this chair?”

Waitress #1: *Looking rather confused* “Of course.”

I am still buzzing from the adrenaline that came from the confrontation for most of the meal.

When we finish and pay at the register, a different waitress asks us what happened, and I explain.

Waitress #2: “That man is a regular. He always acts like he owns the place and bullies other patrons.”

I hope they managed to get control of the situation, because it really soured what was usually the highlight of my week as a struggling mum.

Being Married To Mr. Cheapskate

, , , , , , , | Right | September 28, 2021

I’m working in a department store. We are closing tonight at 9:30 pm. Just before 9:00 pm, the manager of another store calls to have me hold a dress in a size they don’t have in stock. I put it aside for the customer to come and pick up before closing. The store the manager called from is only ten minutes from my store. She also warned me that these particular customers may be difficult.

The customer walks in with her husband and asks for the dress on hold and I give it to her. 

Customer’s Husband: “The manager at the other store said you were going to give us a discount on this dress. She said a further 20% off at least.”

Me: “Well, this dress has already been marked down a further 20% from the sale price, so the marked price is what it is currently retailing for.”

Customer’s Husband: “No, no! The other manager said we would get another discount on top to make up for the fact that we had to travel so far to come and pick it up.”

The store they came from is only ten minutes away and the dress costs $80 down from $300.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that does not sound like something she would have said. It also goes against company policy, as prices are set by head office and I have no power to alter them unless in the case of severe damage to the item. Nonetheless, I’ll call her now to confirm.”

Sure enough, the customer’s husband wasn’t told anything about a further discount. He proceeds to argue with me and the manager of the other store over the phone. At this point, it is about five minutes to closing.

Me: “Sir, it is now five minutes to closing. As we have both spent the last twenty minutes explaining, we cannot alter the price of this dress. Our registers will close in five minutes, so if you would like to take this dress, it needs to be now. Otherwise, you will have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: *To her husband* “Please stop; you are embarrassing me. I’ll buy the dress and you let this poor girl go home. The place is closing.”

Customer’s Husband: “The only way I will take this dress is if you reimburse me for the cost of my petrol to get here. I will also accept store credit or a gift for the inconvenience.”

Me: “No. I live in this area, and I know the store you came from is only ten minutes away. Either way, I cannot simply give away products for free or issue a store credit if you aren’t returning anything.”

Customer’s Husband: “Well, that doesn’t matter! I live half an hour away! At least pay me for half of the petrol needed to get here!”

Me: “You chose to come to this store to pick this dress up. I did not ask you to come here. If you don’t want to purchase today, we also sell online, but I must ask you to make a decision within the next minute.”

Security is near my section while the customer’s husband rants and raves on about gifts he believes he should get for making the “trip” to our store and has the audacity to say that I should be lucky he would consider spending good money here.

Customer: “I am so sorry for wasting your time. I will pay for the dress myself.”

She shoots her husband the ugliest look I’ve ever seen.

Me: “Thank you, madam. Follow me to the registers and I’ll put this through quickly before I am locked out of the system.”

I put the sale through. All the while, her husband kept asking me to reimburse him for his petrol out of my own pocket as an act of goodwill, which he claimed would make him a regular customer of our store. I couldn’t say “no” quick enough. The wife left embarrassed and sorry, and the husband left sulking and cranky.

Someone This Stupid Should Not Be Behind The Wheel

, , , , , | Legal | September 22, 2021

My friend is a police officer. He and his partner are driving behind a car that isn’t doing much to attract their attention, but their onboard computer tells them that the owner’s driving licence has been suspended for multiple DUI offences.

They pull the car over for a licence check, and the young man driving explains that it is his mother’s car and she allows him to use it. That’s no problem, but just to make sure, they ask for his licence as identification.

The Provisional Licence — one step up from a Learner’s Permit — he only had for three months has been cancelled for many unpaid speeding fines.

Police Officer: “Since you are driving without a valid licence, we are impounding the vehicle.”

Young Man: “Do you have to? I need to take the car home so that my mother will have it to go to work tomorrow.”

Police Officer: *Stunned* “You want me to let you drive home tonight, without a licence, so that your mother can drive to work tomorrow, also without a licence?”

The young man apparently doesn’t see any problem with this.

Young Man: “Yes, that would be very good of you. It would save me getting told off by my mom and she wouldn’t stop me borrowing the car.”

The officer turns to his partner, who is trying to stifle a laugh.

Police Officer: “It’s not funny!”

Trying not to laugh himself, he shakes his head and turns to the young man.

Police Officer: “I think we had better take you into the station and have a long talk with you and your mother when she comes to get you.”

When Will They Realize Not Coming Back Is An Incentive Not A Threat?

, , | Right | September 17, 2021

I am working on setting up a new store. The owners are desperate to open as the setup has taken longer than they expected due to the store being larger than any they have opened in the past. They decide to get all the staff to concentrate on finishing most of the departments and blocking off an unfinished area so that they can open on the advertised date.

We have built walls using cartons of stock to block off the area, leaving a roped-off opening for staff to access. I am part of the team that is assigned to finish off the area, and as we complete an area, we move the wall of cartons. At one stage, the wall doesn’t quite span across the area blocked off; there is a gap of about twenty to thirty centimetres. Most customers just peer through the gap to see what we are doing, but not one woman.

I hear the sound of the carton wall moving and look up to see a woman squeezing herself through the gap. I rush up to stop her from doing so as the cartons are full of stock and could harm her if she pushes the wall over.  

Me: “I’m sorry, but you can’t come through that way.”

Customer: “Why not? I want to shop in here!”

Me: “This area isn’t set up for customers yet.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘not set up yet’? The shop is open and I want to shop!”

Me: “This part is not open yet; we are still working on getting it done.”

Customer: *Screaming* “How dare you open this place if it’s not completely finished?! I am so disgusted! I will be telling people not to shop here!”

She stomps off. I turn to see my store manager watching from the other end of the area. I explain to him that I stopped her from squeezing through the gap and possibly knocking the cartons onto herself and what she said to me.

Manager: “So, she’s not coming back? Good. We don’t need crazies in here. You handled that well.”

All Maroon Five People Said The Same Thing

, , | Right | September 15, 2021

I sell travel cards and certain ones need certain IDs. For example, green cards are only sold to pension cardholders and students. Maroon is only for senior cardholders and has a few more discounts. If I sell the wrong card, I could get in trouble and the customer ends up with a $261 fine.

I have an elderly gentleman come up to my desk who tells me he was sold the wrong card yesterday and he wants to get it fixed. He pulls out his green card with his pension card, which means he has the right card. 

Me: “Okay, so you gave her your pension card, which means she gave you the correct card.”

Customer: “No, she didn’t! I want the maroon one!”

Me: “Do you have a senior card?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Well, I can’t sell you the maroon one.”

Customer: “Yes, you can!”

Me: “No, I can’t. You need to show me your senior card!”

I show him the card I need.

Customer: *Slamming his hand down on the desk* “That’s not right! You don’t know what you’re doing. Neither did the girl yesterday! I want the maroon card!”

Me: “You don’t have a senior card so I can’t sell you a maroon card!”

Customer: “Listen to me! I’ve spoken to five people and they’ve all told me the same thing, and now you are, too, and you all know nothing! Give me the maroon card! I’m unsatisfied with your service!”

This went on for another five minutes. He carried on about how I wasn’t giving him what he wanted and we were going around in circles. In the end, I told him to call and complain about my “poor service.”