When Patients Aren’t

, , | Healthy | November 13, 2017

It’s a Friday night, and my dad has been really sick all week. It eventually gets to the point where he needs to go to the emergency room. Being a Friday night, the ER is relatively full.

Once he gets there, and speaks to the nurse, he is immediately given a wheelchair and taken straight through. The looks of disgust and just pure hatred he got from everyone in the waiting room was astonishing.

He had pneumonia, and had he arrived even an hour later, chances are he would have died.

Seriously, if someone is taken straight through at the emergency room, chances are their problems are probably worse than yours!

Unfiltered Story #100064

, , , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2017

(I retail gas barbecues and I am showing a customer an upmarket model with a generous storage cabinet in it’s base.)

Customer: “What would I keep in the cabinet?”

Me: “What ever you would like.”

Customer: “Yes, but what would I put in there?”

Me: “It would be your barbecue; you could put anything in there that you want.”

Customer: “I want you to tell me what I would put in the cabinet.”

Me: “Well, you could keep a vinyl cover in there, perhaps some barbecue utensils, or even sauces or spices that you regularly use.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s silly, I wouldn’t put that there.”

For An Hour You Were Cat-atonic

, , , , , , , | Related | November 9, 2017

My family knows me to be absolutely in love with cats. One day, my mom asked me to take out the trash and I was stopped by our cat.

My mom came out later to inform me that I was out there for an entire hour, cooing over a cat.

Your Story Can’t Hold Water (Damage)

, , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(A water-damaged junior book has been returned via the overnight returns. I call the customer to let them know about the charges, but they wish to come in the next day to inspect the book. The book is still wet and smells strongly of chlorine. The next day the father comes in with the daughter and asks to see the book. I go and get it and he looks it over. The book is still damp.)

Father: “I just cannot see her doing this to a book. She must have borrowed it like this.”

Me: “It is extremely unlikely that we had a book on our shelves that was wet. In addition, for it to stay wet for the whole four weeks that you had it out would be very strange.”

Father: “She gets A’s; she’s a good student. Sweetheart, tell the librarian about your spelling tests.”

Girl: “I always get 100%.”

Me: “That’s really great; however, the book was returned water-damaged—”

Father: “Sweetheart, you tell the librarian that you didn’t do this.”

Girl: “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Me: “Did it happen by accident?”

Girl: “It was in my swimming bag and I kind of put my wet bathers on top, but I forgot it was in there.”

Me: “Sometimes accidents like this happen.”

Father: “No, you didn’t, sweetheart; you wouldn’t do that.”

Girl: “I did, though.”

Father: “Well, what is the charge?”

Me: “$12.50.”

Father: “That’s outrageous; I could get this book for $1!”

Me: “If you can source a brand new copy of this book for $1, then by all means, we can accept that instead of payment.”

Father: “You just wait. $1!”

(That was a month ago. I’m still waiting.)

Exhausted All Other Excuses

, , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(We run a small shop that sells and repairs motorbikes. We sell a small motorbike to a couple for their child. They come back in after a few days.)

Customer: “It’s running hot.”

Me: “Why do you think it’s running hot?”

Customer: “The exhaust melted a hole in my daughter’s $80 riding pants.”

Me: “Did she get burnt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “The riding pants have done their job, then. But what makes you think it’s running hot?”

Customer: “My husband touched the exhaust and burnt his hand!”

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