One Of Us Is Smart

, , , | Right | September 15, 2020

I work at a fast-paced restaurant that requires customers to take a numbered pager for their food and collect it from a large counter which is almost always full of orders. As a result, it requires at least three people for things to run smoothly in that end section alone. It is the middle of an unusually busy rush hour, and a colleague and I are the only people on counter. My colleague is busy sorting out dockets so I’m by myself handing out orders. I am in the middle of dispersing orders when I am interrupted by a customer I have just paged.

Customer #1: “Excuse me, is this my order?”

The customer holds up their pager, which is flashing.

Me: “Yes, right here!”

I gesture at his tray of food instead of handing it to him as I am already serving a customer.

Customer #1: “Are you sure?”

I am slightly flustered at having to draw my attention away from my initial customer.

Me: “Definitely, the number matches the docket I have right here!”

I grin and hold up the docket. The customer is still visibly confused, so I quickly clear the food that has quickly piled up.

Me: “Did you want me to check the order for you?’

Customer #1: “Oh, no, I think I have it figured out now.” 

The rush has stopped, and I notice a woman standing in front of my counter who has been watching me from the start of the rush. I assumed she was the next order out, so I tell my colleague to grab her food. She approaches the counter.

Customer #2: “Is this mine?” 

Me: “Right here! Have a lovely day!”

She pulls herself closer to the counter.

Customer #2: “You know, you are so smart, knowing who’s food belongs to who! So smart!”

I stand speechless as the woman nearly dances out of the store.

Customer #2: “So smart!”

Colleague: “What was that about?”

Me: “I think that lady thinks I remember all the orders off by heart.”

This amused me for the rest of my shift!

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Maybe Fiftieth Time Lucky

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2020

An older customer who does nothing but walk up and down the aisles all day comes in trying to play tricks on the staff. He comes up to me with a loaf of bread.

Me: “G’day, how are you?”

Customer: “I’m not going to tell you; you’ll tell everyone.”

Me: “All right, so that will be two dollars, thanks.

The customer hands me a $10 note; I give him $8 change.

Me: “All right, have a nice day.”

The customer stands there for a moment.

Customer: “Didn’t I give you a fifty?”

I am slightly taken aback.

Me: “No, you definitely gave me a ten.”

The customer then bares the biggest toothless grin I’ve ever seen and laughs.

Customer: “I’ll get you one day, mate. Have a good one!”

Ever since then, every time he goes through my register, he always does the same thing. He thinks it’s hilarious and that he’ll always get me next time.

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Don’t Cross That Bridge When You Come To It

, , , | Related | September 12, 2020

My grandfather had a series of mini-strokes which eventually made him blind in one eye and also affected the sight in the other. The doctor recommended he stop driving as his long-distance vision was affected and he had no depth perception. He had a few close misses when pulling out into traffic. My mother wanted his license to be taken away but my grandmother refused as it would upset him, but she did insist that she do the driving from then on.

One morning, Mum notices that their car is gone but my grandmother is still home.

Mum: “Did you know the car is gone? Where’s [Grandfather]?”

Grandmother: “No, he was here a few moments ago.”

A few minutes later, my grandfather drives the car back into the yard, very narrowly missing the power pole by the driveway. Mum and Grandmother rush outside.

Mum: “What are you doing driving?”

Grandfather: “I only went up to the shops.”

Mum: “You know you can’t see properly; you can’t drive.”

Grandfather: “It’s all right. I didn’t go by the main road; I went the back way.”

The next day, my grandmother gets their doctor to take away his license and she starts keeping the car keys hidden.  

A few weeks later, Grandfather’s eyesight worsens to the point that he can’t even see cars on the road. He is told that he is not to cross roads on his own. Again, my mother catches him walking back from the shops on his own.

Mum: “You know you can’t cross roads on your own.”

Grandfather: “I didn’t cross any roads.”

Mum: *Pointing to his newspaper* “The newsagency is on the other side of the main road.”

Grandfather: “I didn’t cross the main road; I walked up to the station and used the crossings.”

Mum: “You had to cross two roads to get to the shops, then cross the same one twice to get to the newsagent, and then do the same on the way back.”

Grandfather: “Those are only streets; they don’t count. I was told I couldn’t cross any roads on my own.”

They had to get the doctor to tell him he wasn’t allowed to cross any streets OR roads on his own.

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Unfiltered Story #207991

, , , | Unfiltered | September 12, 2020

(I was studying late one night there was nothing in the fridge and so I ordered a pizza from a nearby chain store rhymes with smominos. Paid $32 for pizza + delivery – discount from coupons + $10 extra for express or get the next one free deal)

I go back to studying after placing the order, watching my pizza tracker occasionally, time seems slower when studying or so I thought until I checked the time, over 1 hour and 20 minutes had passed and I had just gotten the notification that the driver just left the store, it’s a 5 minute drive, granted he might of had other delivery to drop off, but as I watch the live tracker, its taken him 15 minutes to drive to my street, on what seems to be a direct path.

so I turn on the lights at the front of the house and go out into the driveway in my Pyjamas and socks, waiting in the cold. Phone in hand, the tracker just said delivered, so I edge closer to the street in my driveway, and I see no cars on my street.

I give it what felt like a few minutes to wait and it ended up being closer to 15 minutes. So I call the store.

Me: Hi I placed an order 1 Hour and 35 Minutes ago, it recently said it had been delivered on the tracking app, but it has not arrived.

Worker 1: Okay sure no problem I can check that for you, can you tell me what your address is.

Me: I tell her my address.

Worker 1: (doesn’t place the phone on hold) yells to Worker 2 isn’t this the address you just went too?

Worker 2: Yeah

Worker 1: Well she said she didn’t get it.

Worker 2: Well I was just there. Shes lying!

Me: (since I can hear everything) Can you ask him who he delivered it too? Or what the house looked like?

Worker 1: The ladys asking who did you give it too?

Worker 2: A guy with a black car at the front.

Me: There are no men at home (I live alone) and my car is silver. Are you sure he got the right address?

Worker 1: (repeats what I just told her to worker 2)

Worker 2: Well I delivered it! Yes it was the right address!

Boss: Whats going on?

Worker 1: Quickly explains

Boss: we’re busy get back to work put it down and she might go away.

Me: (hearing everything and still waiting on the line 10 minutes pass her phone is beeping from another call in the queue)

Worker 1: (picks up) Hello?

Me: It’s still me, the one without the pizza.

Worker 1: Okay the boss will be right with you. *Hangs up*

Me: *I call back* Hi I think you just hung up on me?

Worker 1: Oh its you again. Hang on a moment. *puts the phone and the table and serves 6 other customers in a span of 20 minutes*

Boss: *picks up the phone* What do you want?

Me: I explain that I ordered my pizza now 2 hours ago and it didn’t arrive, so I called the store and the delivery boy claims he delivered it to a man with a black car at the correct address while, i’m a female with a silver car.

Boss: Asks the delivery driver.

Worker 2: I told you shes lying! I delivered it.

Boss: He says he delivered it.

Me: Okay look I am getting sick of this back and forth, tell your delivery boy to come back to the address I recite it for him, and I will be waiting in the middle of the street so he cannot miss me or my house or my silver car and I will question him myself as to which house he delivered my pizza too because this getting ridiculous so he can confirm for himself that he did indeed deliver it to the wrong house and so he can apologise for calling me a liar, how ever I am disgusted with your attitude, not only have I been called a lair twice I have been on the phone for over 30 minutes and being ignored while listening to everything you have said about me in the background, once this is through I want my refund.

Boss: He said he delivered it and refused to give me a refund.

Me: Either have him come back to my street and confront me at my house, or I will come to your store.

Boss: We will give you a coupon.

Me: I do not want a coupon, nor do I want my 2 hour old pizza which is probably sitting in someones stomach who lives in my street. I want my money and my time back and an apology but since I cannot have the latter I want my money back.

Boss: You paid using an online transaction (the website) we cannot give you a refund.

Me: I will take you to the department of fair trading.

Boss: We cannot give you a refund because we don’t have access to the website.

Me: But the payment goes to your store?

Boss: Yes, but no no we cannot give you a refund we don’t have a computer.

Me: Its okay i’ll come by in store right now and pick it up in dollar coins if I have too. I also have this exchange recorded for proof.

Boss: To get a refund you need to leave a complaint.

Me: Excuse me? your telling me I need to leave a complaint in order to prompt any form of reimbursement?

Boss: Yes just go to the website. *hangs up*

And so I go to the official website and make a complaint, 2 weeks later I get a reply and a phone call asking about the issue of my complaint, I explain and offer her a recording of the phone conversation, she explains that the processing is slow and it will take another 2 weeks to receive a refund.

I finally get my refund and no apology.

Unfiltered Story #207929

, , , | Unfiltered | September 10, 2020

(I’m serving customers on the register. An old man gets to the front of the queue.)
Me: Hi, what can I get for you?
Customer: I’d like a zinger burger. That’s all.
Me: That’s $4.95 thanks.
(Customer hands me money and I hand him his change and receipt. But instead of moving to the side to let the next customer up to the register, he stands there and reads his receipt.)
Me: Is everything alright sir?
Customer: Why didn’t you give me my seniors discount?
Me: I’m sorry but you never said you’d like a seniors discount, and you didn’t show me your card.
Customer: I want to speak to your manager.
(I know it’s pointless to argue. So I call my manager over. Bear in mind, this seniors discount would’ve saved him 20 cents.)
My manager couldn’t be bothered with him so she just gave him his 20 cents and he got his burger and left.