They Rostered Their Own Last Days

, , , , , , , | Working | August 6, 2018

(I have a coworker and manager who for some reason don’t like me. They’ve tried to get me fired by not doing their duties and blaming me, or getting friends to make complaints against me, etc. All their attempts been disproven. Our roster is posted a month in advance and emailed to all staff. Three months prior, I applied for and was granted ten days off for my brother’s wedding and a family holiday in another state. Two days before I leave I overhear this on my way to my lunch break:)

Coworker: “[Friend who had made a bogus complaint against me] has an extra ticket for [four-day Music Festival]. I really want to go but it’s too late to get time off.”

Manager: “Get someone to swap you.”

Coworker: “Only [My Name] could do it. She has ten days in a row off.”

Manager: “What? [My Name] has no life. Ask her; if she says no, I’ll just change the roster, anyway.”

(I quickly clock out and take a photo of the posted roster with the time and date showing. Another coworker who also heard the conversation assures me that they will back me up and tells me to enjoy my holiday. After my break, [Coworker] comes up to me.)

Coworker: “You need to work [four days in the middle of my holiday]. I’ll swap shifts, but we’ll work it out later.”

(She then goes to walk off.)

Me: “[Coworker], I can’t. I’m away for ten days starting the tenth.”

Coworker: *with a smirk* “Too bad. [Manager] already said you have to swap.”

Me: “Sorry, but [Store Manager] already approved my leave three months ago. I’ll be in Perth, then. Find someone else.”

Coworker: “You’ll be sorry.”

(She storms off in a huff. But I hear nothing from either of them. I have the next day off and don’t work my last shift with either, but knowing [Manager] is working the shift after, I check the roster to see it hasn’t changed. I take another photo just in case. While I’m away, I receive six messages from the manager and store manager saying that I’m in trouble for not turning up for my scheduled shifts, which I ignore. On my first day back at work, I’m called into the office with the store manager.)

Store Manager: “[My Name], I’m really surprised. You’re not usually someone to just not turn up for your shifts. I wanted to give you a chance to explain.”

Me: “I had ten days off to go to Perth. You approved it, and even gave me advice on things to do as you used to live there.”

Store Manager: “Oh. Yes, I remember that, but as you’re down on the roster I figured you had changed your mind about going.”

Me: “Definitely not, and when I had my last shift, I wasn’t on the roster until today. I have photos to prove it.”

(I showed her the photos, and suggested having a look at the roster and checking when it was changed in the system. Sure enough, I had been swapped with [Coworker] after my last shift, when [Manager] was the only one with access to change it. With that, the photos, my other coworker’s statement about the conversation, and the previous problems, [Coworker] and [Manager] were both fired.)

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Some Hard Drives Just Fly Off The Shelves

, , , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

(I’m working in the technology department of our store one evening when a guy comes in and starts browsing the hard drives.)

Me: “Good evening, sir. Can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to buy a hard drive.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I explain about the different sizes and uses for backup or file transport. The customer looks at me with red, bloodshot eyes and nods slowly.)

Customer: “I don’t want one with maggots in it, though.”

Me: “Um. Pardon me?”

Customer: “The maggots. That live inside the middle of the hard drive. I don’t want them.”

Me: “Do you mean the magnets inside?”

Customer: “No, the maggots. They live inside the middle of the hard drive. My friend told me about the maggots that live in there.”

(This conversation continued on for several minutes until I politely excused myself and left him to browse. My tech supervisor laughed for a good ten minutes when I told him later.)

Doctor How?

, , , , | Learning | August 6, 2018

(I am in year-eleven chemistry class. I am one of those people who is capable of retaining interesting — but completely useless — information. We are looking over a series of revision questions for the exam. The teacher has continually stressed that unless the question specifically tells us what a certain compound is and we haven’t learnt it in class, then we don’t need that information in order to answer the question, as the question will provide the info we need. One student who is notorious for not paying attention raises his hand.)

Student: “Mr. [Teacher], we haven’t learned what EDTA is.”

(The teacher looks like he is going to spontaneously combust out of annoyance. He asks the class at large:)

Teacher: “Who here can tell [Student] what EDTA is?!”

Me: “Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid.”

(The entire class and the teacher fall silent, staring at me. Eventually, the teacher manages to find his tongue.)

Teacher: “Well… [My Name] is correct, but you don’t need to know that… [My Name], how do you know that?”

Me: “It was on an episode of Torchwood.”

Unfiltered Story #117837

, , | Unfiltered | August 6, 2018

My mother and I were buying some groceries when. I spotted this little exchange.

Two women are standing in front of the Mexican section. A lot of the ingredients can be found much cheaper in other aisles, but they don’t mention specific Mexican dishes in them.

Woman 1: these refused beans are a rip off! Never buy them, for $2 less you can get these taco beans and cook them yourself.
Woman 2: see this is why I always bring you with me! *precedes to pick up taco beans* I’ll save so much money thanks to you!

Me: staring at 75c cans of kidney beans, resisting urge to slam head into shelf at stupidity

Unfiltered Story #117831

, | Unfiltered | August 5, 2018

I self publish Ebook- which I sell on the Internet. Because of the difficulty with copyright I try to discourage copyright abuse by selling for the very reasonable cost of $4.
Recent Email from a customer “Hi [my Name]
I received the booklet and emailed it to myself at work so that I could print it off there.  I meant to print off two copies, because my daughter is also building her own home, but I only printed off one copy at the time.  I intended to make another copy today, but the download has expired.  Is there any chance I could get access to the document again, even just for an hour, so that I could print another copy?

Kind Regards”

Me “You bought the rights to a single copy”

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