Instantly Furious

, , , | Right | November 7, 2019

(I work at a major international coffee chain that prides itself on its high standard of coffee brewing.)

Customer: “Do you guys use instant coffee here?”

Me: “Definitely not, sir! We make espresso from freshly-ground beans.”

Customer: *suddenly angry, with a huge sigh* “Jeez, you can’t get a real cup of coffee anywhere these days!” *storms out*

Me: *to coworker* “Did that really just happen?!”

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Lovebite Insight

, , , , | Friendly | November 7, 2019

(My best friend and I are in my bedroom. She’s got a hickey on her neck.)

Friend: “Look at the lovebite [Boyfriend] gave to me; it’s huge. Do you know of a way to cover it? I need to hide it from my mother.”

Me: “I have no idea. Makeup, perhaps?”

(Just at that moment, my elder sister comes into the room; it’s clear she’s been listening to our conversation. She is quite immature but always tries to better other people and be an expert on everything.)

Sister: “You should do what I do; I always make sure that any lovebites I get can be covered by clothing.”

(She pulls down the shoulder of her top and shows a small lovebite at the top of her arm before walking out.)

Friend: “Uh, you know that she did that to herself?”

Me: “Yeah, I know. She and [Other Friend] were practicing lovebites the other day.”

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You Can’t Cough This Up To Cultural Differences

, , , , | Healthy | November 7, 2019

I came into work today to hear my coworker, the office supervisor, in a high-volume discussion with a patient in another language. I don’t speak any other languages besides English, but I could tell the patient was agitated and my coworker was trying to neutralize it.

I let her handle that and helped other patients before my shift officially started. Later, she revealed the reason. Apparently, the patient was having an ultrasound with our chief sonographer. The patient was coughing on the sonographer, so they asked the patient to cover their mouth. The patient got offended by that and left the room in the middle of the scan. The patient commented things such as, “She shouldn’t be in the industry if she can’t take sick patients.”

My coworker tells me that in their culture coughing is open. They aren’t told to cover their mouths.

All three– the patient, sonographer, and coworker — are the same nationality.

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Not A Very Sunny Disposition

, , , , , | Working | November 6, 2019

(I am tidying up my department when I come across an expensive pair of sunglasses that someone has left behind. I pick them up to take to the counter.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Look at what I just found.”

Coworker: “Ooh, those look nice.”

Me: “Yes, if I can’t find the owner, I’d like to keep them myself.”

Coworker: “No, I’ll take them; give them to me.”

Me: “No, I don’t think so. Anyway, I found them.”

Coworker: “But I saw them first so I should have them.”

Me: “You saw them first, when?”

Coworker: “I was walking past [department] and saw them on the shelf.”

Me: “You didn’t pick them up?”

Coworker: “No, I was too busy, so they should be mine. I’ll take them now.”

Me: “Nope, they legally have to be kept for two weeks to give the owner a chance to claim them, so I’ll put them in the office.”

Coworker: “Oh, anyway, a customer was looking for glasses earlier; she asked if I had seen any.”

Me: “Okay, did you get her phone number?”

(It’s standard to take details in case we do find property.)

Coworker: “No.”

Me: “Well, if she comes back they will be in the office.”  

([Coworker] had a spoilt-brat, sulky look on her face for the rest of the day and pretty much ignored me. Three months later, I was tidying the office and came across the sunglasses which had been hidden by someone and forgotten about. I did end up with a lovely pair of sunnies.)

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Unfiltered Story #177073

, , , | Unfiltered | November 6, 2019

I tend to work the overnight shift on Saturday nights at McDonald’s and I get a lot of weird (and mostly drunk) customers come through. We’re only open through the drive-thru but a lot of people come through on foot. This one tops them all.
One night I am down at the cashier window and I hear yelling from the other window where we hand out the food. The customer I am serving is laughing because some drunk guy is ranting to my manager that he is a constable police officer looking for a white car and needs to interview “witnesses” coming through drive-thru. After a lot of talking my manager sorts it out to giving the guy two cups of water (because that is apparently what he was really after). I then go down to the window later to see the drunk man leaning through the window stealing ketchup packets. While we give them out free of charge I tell him to back away telling him it’s stealing just to get him to move. He tells me that he needs the packets because he’s eating brains from cows and sheep and that he is the spawn of Satan. He then disappears after making weird roaring/gargling noises.
I continue to server other customers while he stumbles around like a zombie along the pathway next to our drive-thru until we’re quiet and no other customers are around. He then comes up to the cashier window and bangs on it and yells incoherently. I notice he has now spread the ketchup across his forehead and decide I don’t want to deal with this lunatic and call for the manager not before the man throws the cups of water he still has at the window.
I don’t know what my manager said to him but he cleared off for a bit until a car came through and I found him scaring a couple of poor girls by trying to climb through their window while they waited for their food.
That’s when I finally lost it and yelled at him to leave the premises before the cops come for harassing the customers. He tells me to go ahead, reverting back to his police officer story and that the girls are witnesses before he disappears for the night and I demanded my manager to call the cops.