(This takes place in a five-star hotel’s cocktail bar that people come into to show off to friends. This night, a young guy in a cheap, ill-fitting suit brings his date in. I can tell he is out of his comfort zone but still wants to put on a good show for his date.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you to drink tonight?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [sickly sweet cocktail] for the lady, and a scotch on the rocks, with ice, for me.”

Me:”…okay, sure. Scotch on the rocks.”

Customer: “With ice, please.”

Me: “…”

(I work in a large store and have a bell on the counter for when we are working away from the counter. I am down the back of the store when I hear a customer talking loudly down near the front of the store.)

Customer: “HELLO… HELLO… HELLO!”

(I just ignore it, until the customer comes to find me.)

Customer: “I’ve been calling out, ‘hello,’ and no one’s come to serve me.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I just assumed you were talking on the phone. We have a bell on the counter.”

Customer: “Oh, I saw that.”

(I have put up with months of my manager coming in late to relieve me. When he’s on time, he sneaks in and goes straight to the office without telling me. It’s always a different excuse for being late, and when I do find him, he tells me he’s just about to come and find me. This usually means I’ve worked an extra half hour or more because I can’t leave until he takes over as manager. After getting an hour cut from my shift, I still find myself working until my original finishing time and not being paid for it because the budget doesn’t allow for extra. I finally have had enough, so I give my two weeks notice. It’s my last day, and I’ve noticed that it’s now ten minutes after my shift officially ended. I had been wondering whether I should just withdraw my resignation.)

Me: *thinking to myself* “It’s bad enough I’m working extra again; I don’t even work here now and I’m still working.”

(About five minutes later, I look up to see the manager coming in. It’s obvious he’s trying to avoid me seeing him.)

Me: *loudly* “Hi, [Manager]!”

Manager: *startled, almost spills the coffees he is carrying* “Oh, hi, [My Name]. I’m late, because I just got you a goodbye coffee.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice of you. Thanks.” *takes a coffee to find it’s almost stone cold*

Manager: “I have to ask: do you really have to go? Can I talk you into staying?”

Me: *sips the cold coffee* “Hmmm… Nope”.

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(I am walking across our very large store and come across a handbag sitting on the floor. I look around for the owner, but no one is in sight, so I pick it up and carry it to the counter.)

Me: *to coworker* “I just found this handbag on the floor; I don’t know who it belongs to.”

Coworker: “Okay, I’m sure someone will come looking for it.”

(Ten minutes later, the manager rushes up with a regular customer behind her.)

Manager: “[Regular]’s handbag has been stolen.”

Me: *picking up bag* “Is this it?”

Customer: “Yes! How did you get it?”

Me: “I found it sitting in the middle of the store; no one was near it.”

Customer: “That’s not true; I was never out of sight of it.”

Me: “Sorry, but it was by [items], and I looked around, and figured it would be safer if I picked it up.”

Customer: *to Manager* “Your staff should know not to take customer’s handbags.”

Manager: “Hold on. You were asking me about [other items], three aisles away from where she found the bag, before you even noticed it was gone.”

Customer: “But I only just put it down because it was so heavy.”

(The manager just looked at me, shaking her head.)

My school has us all buy laptops for everyone to do work both in school and at home, using one big network. We are also each given an email account, and so are all the staff.

I am looking through my school email and I see my newest message, sent to me by the vice-principal. The subject is, and I quote, “eat da poo poo,” and the only text is important dates for workers. There is an attached picture, which I can’t make out at first, but I soon open it and discover it to be male genitalia.

The next day of school, all anyone can talk about is this email, and the school has an entire assembly and sends out emails to both the students and their parents apologizing, and telling us about how someone hacked into the email and sent it. However, knowing the vice-principal, they probably sent out a joke email and accidentally clicked “send to all.”