(I’m browsing through the hygiene aisle when a father and his young daughter stop near me.)
Daughter: “Dad! Do you need feminine hygiene things?”
Dad: “No, sweetheart. I’m a male. I don’t need them.”
Daughter: “Oh. Do I need them?”
Dad: *pauses* “We can worry about that when you’re older.”
(Our large store is only staffed sparingly, usually only two people on at one time. If one goes on a break the other is left alone. I am at the counter serving with several people lined up patiently waiting when a customer comes to the beginning of the line.)
Me: “Do you have a question?’
Customer: “No, I want someone to cut some vinyl for me.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but you will need to join the line.” *I keep on ringing up sales*
Customer: “Join the line? I just want some vinyl cut.”
Me: “Yes, I know. I will need to serve the people on the line before I can serve you.”
Customer: “This is ridiculous. I don’t want to be served; I just need vinyl cut.”
Me: “Sorry, but I can’t leave here; I am the only one serving. You will need to join the line and wait your turn.”
Customer: “I’ll just wait at the vinyl, then.”
Me: “No, I really need you to wait here on line. Although, if you have other shopping, you can get that first before getting on the line for me to serve you.”
Customer: “I don’t need anything else. I just want vinyl cut. Why do I have to wait here on line?”
Me: “Because I can not leave a line of customers who have been waiting for much longer than you, and if you don’t wait here there’s a chance I’ll forget you are over there seeing as I am so busy right now.”
(He goes and stands metres away from the line, pacing back and forth, shooting me dirty looks. A few moments later my colleague comes off lunch.)
Me: “[Coworker], will you please cut vinyl for that man?”
(I apologise to each of the customers as I serve them.)
Customer #2: “Oh, my God! The sort of thing you have to put up with! I would have told him to eff off.”
Me: “Yes, I think I need a break now.”
Customer #3: “Well, you deserve it. Is there any booze out there?”
(My father has always attended church on Sundays. He’s not overly religious but thinks once a week is enough. Mum joined a couple of church activities during the week. Then, after she retired, she took on some more, such as running the craft activities and being on the craft board, as well as ferrying older parishioners to and from the church.)
Dad: “Looks like the church has gotten their claws into you; you keep getting forced to take on more duties. You should be home just relaxing instead of all this running around.”
Mum: “But I like it; it keeps me active. Anyway, I volunteered; no one has forced me to do anything.”
Dad: “Well, you won’t see me there. I’ve worked enough in my life and am ready to put my feet up.”
(Dad retires and does just that. He happily putters around at home for six months. One day I call in to see him.)
Me: “Where’s Dad?”
Mum: “Oh, he’s cleaning the church.”
Me: “Cleaning the church? What did he say about the church getting their claws into you?”
Mum: *laughs* “Well, he had a check up at the doctor last week. Apparently putting his feet up doesn’t agree with him. The doctor told him he needs to be more active or he won’t be around much longer.”
(That was over ten years ago. He now is on the church board, helps Mum run the crafts, and still cleans the church, as well as other duties. He loves the activity, is healthier than ever, and has more friends than ever.)
(We have just had Mother’s Day, the busiest weekend of the year. We do not ever guarantee times of delivery; we just say it’ll be delivered before 5:00 pm.)
Customer: “I asked for it to be delivered before 1:00 pm. It’s nearly 2:00, and they haven’t been delivered. My mum has now gone home from work and won’t receive the flowers for her birthday. I want my money back. I am very angry.”
Me: “Hi, [Customer], we apologise for the delay. We usually deliver up until 5:00 pm and do not guarantee delivery times; however, as you’ve requested it, I’ll refund you in full and cancel the order. It may take five to seven business days for your bank to process this. We apologise for any dissatisfaction caused.”
Customer: *about 3:00 pm* “The flowers still have not been delivered. I never asked you to cancel the order! I am furious! I want to make a formal complaint. You have ruined the whole surprise. I never asked for them to be cancelled!”
Me: “Hi, [Customer], you asked for a refund and we provided one. When a refund is processed, we are then unable to deliver the flowers. I apologise for any dissatisfaction caused. Thank you.”
(Did she want the refund — which is out of policy but we did anyway — AND the flowers? Hell, no!)
(This happens back in the ‘80s. Our $1 note has been replaced with a coin, followed four years later by the $2 note being replaced as well. The $2 coin is much smaller than the $1 coin, which is unusual as our coins usually go up in size with each increase. I use a $10 note to buy something worth $6.)
Salesperson: “We have new $2 coins.”
Me: “Really? I’ve been waiting to see what they are like.”
Salesperson: *hands me two coins back* “There you go. $4 change.”
Me: *looking at the coins, wondering why the $2 coins are the same size as the $1 when I know they are supposed to be smaller* “Hold on, you’ve just given me the wrong change. You still owe me $2”
Salesperson: “No, that’s right. Those are the new $2 coins.”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
Salesperson: “How do you know? You said you had never seen them before.”
Me: “The fact that these say $1 on them.”
Salesperson: “Are you sure?”
Me: *holding them up* “Yes, I am sure.”
Salesperson: “I don’t know. I think you might be wrong but I’ll check.” *opens cash drawer* “No, those are the larger coin which means they are worth more.”
Me: “No, the $2 are the smaller coin.”
Salesperson: “Now I’m confused. If you want two of the smaller ones that’s ok, but I still don’t think you are right.” *we exchange the coins*
Me: *holding up the $2 coin* “See? It says $2 right there.”
Salesperson: “Oh, is that how you can tell which is which?”
