No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | April 13, 2010

Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what’s the time in the UK now?”

Me: “Its 9:00 pm. They’re ten hours behind.”

Customer: “Oh, so if I call the UK in another half hour, what time will it be?”

Me: “It’ll be 9:30 pm.”

Customer: “You mean if half an hour passes here, it will also be half an hour later there?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *surprised* “Oh! So, that’s how it works?”

1 Thumbs
2,433

Cold But Not Calculating

, , , | Right | April 7, 2010

(There is a deal at my store that reduces the prices on DVDs if you get five or more. A customer rings up four DVDs.)

Me: “So, you know if you get another movie, it’ll cost you fifty cents less than what you have right now?”

Customer: “What did you say to me?”

Me: “Um, well, we have this deal…”

Customer: “If I wanted another DVD, I would have gotten one before. And I would pay for it, too, because I believe in the system we have running here. I don’t need no filthy communist telling me how to use my money!”

Me: “I really don’t think that’s how communism works, but okay. That’ll be eight bucks.”

Customer: “Don’t you tell me how communism works! I fought in that war!”

Me: “Which war?”

Customer: “The Cold War!”

1 Thumbs
3,795

Women’s Studies, Not Studying Women

, , , , | Learning Right | March 24, 2010

(I work in enrollment in my university.)

Me: “What degree would you like to enroll in?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, what are you interested in?”

Customer: “Hot girls.”

Me: “You mean ‘Women’s Studies’?”

Customer: “Does that have lots of girls in it?”

Me: “Pretty much all girls.”

Customer: “Awesome, I’ll do that.”

(Note: ‘Women’s Studies’ studies feminism.)

1 Thumbs
4,114

Not A Nice Touch

, , | Right | March 24, 2010

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

(Customer places his order, pays, and takes his food without saying a word.)

Me: “Here you are. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “What if I don’t want to have a nice day, huh?”

Me: “Um… don’t?”

Customer: “Don’t be so rude!” *storms out angrily*

Coworker: “What just happened?”

1 Thumbs
2,522

A Stern Warning For Hypochondriacs

, , , | Right | March 16, 2010

(I am on a ferry. I see a woman sitting in a chair with her head between her legs looking rather ill.)

Me: “Are you all right? Can I help with anything?”

Passenger: “I think I’m really seasick.”

Me: “Oh, well, uh, are you sure it’s not flu or something you’ve eaten?”

Passenger: “No, I’ve never felt like this before. I know I’m seasick.”

Me: “Oh, okay then. I’ll just go see if I can find the medic.”

(I didn’t have the heart to tell her that we hadn’t even untied yet.)

1 Thumbs
2,192