It All Turned Out Shiny

, , , , , | Related | August 10, 2018

(We are returning to our home town after my nan’s funeral. My dad stays in her home state for a couple more days, while Mum, my brother, his girlfriend, and I are travelling together. On the second leg of our journey, we have stopped for a morning coffee in a rural town. My brother takes the opportunity to wander around, playing “Pokemon Go” and seeing what he can find. The rest of us are done fairly quickly, and I’ll be honest, I’m not really that patient; he has kept us waiting a fair while.)

Mum: “Can you please tell [Brother] to hurry up? We’re ready to go.”

(He’s over the other side of the road, lost in his phone; I call out.)

Me: *kind of grumpy, and using my usual sarcastic term for when he annoys me* “Hey, Wonder Boy! We’re ready to go!”

(After a delay, he wanders over, a smile on his face.)

Brother: “Sorry about that. I just had to make sure I caught this.”

(He shows me his phone; I begin to laugh and smile.)

Me: “That was not worth holding us up for!”

Brother: *also smiling* “Yeah, I knew you’d have that reaction.”

(The Pokemon he’d caught? A shiny Luvdisc. For those not in the know, Luvdisc is a Water-type Pokemon, vaguely based on a fish, shaped like a heart turned on its side. It’s a pretty underwhelming Pokemon in the main series games. It’s worth noting, though, that Luvdisc’s alternate, aka “shiny” colouring, is gold; basically, it is a heart of gold. And that sums up my brother. He’s a bit disorganised when he’s not at work or involved in his hobbies, but he really is a kind and well-meaning person. I just have to laugh at his laconic approach sometimes, and it cheered me up after Nan’s funeral the previous day.)

Not Being Sedate About It

, , | Healthy | August 10, 2018

(I’m a vet in a country town in Australia. Here, certain prescription drugs for farm animals can be dispensed for use without us seeing the animals, as long as a vet has been onto the property in the previous 12 months. This is rarely an issue, as we go to most farms on a regular basis to do routine work; however, I have trained the receptionists to check a client’s file every time they order drugs, just to confirm when we were last out there. For some background info, a common practice for shearing sheep is to sedate full grown rams, just enough to make them a bit easier to handle, as rams can often weigh as much or more than your average shearer, and can hurt you if they decide to put up a fight. These days, almost all shearers refuse to shear rams without sedation. The sedative used is, of course, a prescription drug, although to my knowledge it is no longer used in people. I haven’t been at this practice very long, so I don’t really know anyone. My boss, on the other hand, has been a vet for a while and knows just about everyone in the community. I’m sure you can see where this is going:)

Receptionist: “[Client] is out the front, wanting [Sedative] for 60 rams. The shearers are coming today, but we haven’t been to the property in over four years. He won’t listen to me at all. Can you please talk to him?”

Me: *heading out to front desk* “Hello, [Client], I believe you’re wanting [Sedative]? [Receptionist] has already told you we can’t give it to you. We haven’t been to your farm for a while now.”

Client: “That’s bulls***. [Boss] gives it to me all the time!”

Me: “Well, I’m not [Boss], so I’m not giving it to you without a farm visit.”

Client: “Come on. Everyone knows I’ve got sheep. What the h*** else would I use [Sedative] for?”

Me: “I don’t know, but people get creative. I don’t know who you are, and I’ve never been to your farm, so I have no idea if you actually have sheep or not.”

Client: “So, you’re going to charge me to come out to my property so that you can see I’m not lying to you. That’s bulls***.”

Me: “That’s exactly right, [Client]. It’s the law. If I get caught dispensing drugs inappropriately, I can get into serious trouble and possibly lose my licence, permanently. I am not prepared to risk years of hard work and a job I love just so you can save $150. Just because [Boss] does it, that does not mean I have to do it. So, either I come out to your farm, or you wait until [Boss] is back in the clinic, and you can take it up with him.”

Client: “Oh…” *suddenly goes very quiet* “I didn’t know you guys could get in trouble.”

Me: “That’s okay. I suspect [Boss] doesn’t, either, which is probably why he just gives it out. Now, I can be at your farm in about an hour; will that be okay?”

Client: “Yes, thank you.”

(Everything went smoothly after that, and [Client] even gave me a box of chocolates to apologise for being difficult. My boss very quickly changed how he worked once I showed him the legislation, and backed me up if other clients ever came in to argue. The original client was also good enough to spread the word around town, and within six months we stopped having issues.)


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Getting His Insecure Panties In A Twist

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I work in a lingerie sore. We cater only to women, but occasionally a man will come in shopping with his girlfriend or partner. It astounds me how many men think it’s okay to stroll into the fitting room areas with their girlfriends to “assist” them trying things on. Our company policy is that no men are to be allowed in the fitting rooms when there are other customers trying things on. Most women feel very uncomfortable if they are trying on bras when there is a strange man nearby. One day, a man comes in with his girlfriend, and I have to politely ask him to leave the fitting rooms.)

Me: *politely in a quiet voice* “I’m really sorry, but we don’t allow men in our fitting rooms when there are other customers using them.”

Male Customer: *stares at me*

Me: “I know you are just with your girlfriend, but it’s for the privacy of our customers.”

(He blinks and walks away and I think everything is fine, but later he approaches me again.)

Male Customer: *aggressive* “You know, just because I have a penis, it doesn’t mean I am dangerous!

(He certainly seemed threatening after that!)

Acting Totally Fake

, , , , , , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(I am a supervisor. It is about an hour after our peak period finishes. Two people walk into the store: one female, one male, both acting a little odd. I decide to take their order instead of the cashier. About halfway through the order, the woman pulls out a $50 note, but it is obviously fake. She tries to pay with it.)

Me: “I am sorry, but this note is fake.”

Woman: “Really? It can’t be; I just got it out of the ATM!”

Me: “It is obviously fake and I have to confiscate it.”

Woman: “Then the ATM is giving out fake notes! Give it back so I can complain!”

Me: “You have tried to pay with fraudulent currency; by law I can’t give it back. Unless you have any real money with you, I cant process this order.”

(The woman looks in her purse, and I notice that she has a large amount of similar-looking $50 notes.)

Woman: “But what are you going to do with the food?”

Me: “Unless you pay for it, it will be handed out to another customer that orders the same item.”

(She turns around and walks to the male she came in with and starts talking, while I make my way to the office to put the fake note into the safe.)

Cashier: *to me* “Hey, you might want to come out; the guy is looking really pissed off.”

(I walk out, but keep behind the bench behind the front counter.)

Guy: “Give me my f****** money back!”

Me: “We have the right to confiscate that money.”

Guy: “It’s my f****** money; get it here now!”

Me: “I can’t legally do that; it is now property of the federal police.”

Guy: “You will give it back or I will f****** make you.”

Me: “I can’t.”

(He proceeds to pick up the donation box and tug on it. Then he notices the chain attaching it to the counter, and he throws it at me. I don’t move, as there is no way it can hit me.)

Guy: “Give me my f****** money back!”

Me: “It’s fake; I can’t.”

Guy: “Well, give me my f****** fake $50 back!”

(He stormed out the front door.)

Unfiltered Story #117858

, , , | Unfiltered | August 8, 2018

(I’m in the ER with my husband after he broke his arm. A woman and her adult daughter are in the curtain area next to us from what I can gather the older woman had a fall and hit her head and doesn’t remember what happened and lost her hearing aids. The nurse is asking her some general questions.)

Nurse: “Okay just a few questions: what is your full name?”

Older Woman: “[Name].”

Nurse: “Great, and your birthdate?”

Older Woman: “Pardon?”

Daughter: *bit louder* “Your birthday mum”

Older Woman: “Oh it’s [birthdate].”

Nurse: “Who is the prime minister?”

Older Woman: “I’m sorry what?”

Daughter: *louder again* “Who’s the idiot that runs the country?”

Older Woman: “Oh that’s Tony Abbott”

(My husband and I start can’t help but laugh. The nurse had a good chuckle too.)

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