Unfiltered Story #111457

, | | Unfiltered | May 19, 2018

This story takes place when I’m in Grade 5. We have a substitute teacher during math. I have overheard this teacher loudly telling another teacher that she is rubbish at math so I’m not expecting much. We are doing a math problem about area. I am good at math and it is fairly simple, but I overhear the teacher telling multiple students the wrong thing. I assume I misheard, and carry on until the teacher decides to mark as a class.

Teacher: *Condescendingly* Okay, so does anyone know what the answer is?

Some students put their hands up, and they say the answer, the teacher encouraging them. But the answer is wrong. I put my hand up. The teacher ignores me, and after a couple minutes I grow impatient.

Me: Excuse me, miss! That last question isn’t correct!

Teacher: Don’t call out!

Me: … my hand is up! That last question wasn’t correct, you only did it like [completely wrong way] it is [right way].

Teacher: *smiles condescendingly* No, you don’t understand, it is meant to be like [horribly wrong answer.

It goes back and forth like this for a bit. A couple other people who got the right answer are agreeing with me. Finally she relents, and half the class has to change their answer. A couple of minutes later my computer stops working.

Me: *to teacher* Excuse me, but my computer has stopped working, I have restarted it but-Teacher: *not even looking my way* Restart it.

Me: But-

Teacher: *hasn’t even started speaking to another student yet.* Wait your turn, this person needs something too you know!

I go back to my seat. I restart my computer so many times I lose count, and shut it down and start it up again. Finally…

Me: Excuse me, but my computer still isn’t working.

Teacher: Just restart it.

Me: *frustrated* I have!

Teacher: Do it again.

Me: I have done it so many times I lost count! Can I have a permission slip to go to [computer fixing place in school, that has computer experts that can fix anything in seconds.]

Teacher: *Acts like she doesn’t hear me* Oh, I know! [Girl]! Come here and help this girl fix her computer!

This girl DOES help some teachers with their computers, but she is no expert, and she has no clue. The teacher didn’t even stay long enough for the girl to cross the room, so the girl just shrugs and says to just restart it and then goes back to her work.

Teacher: How’s it going. *notices my screen is restarting* How come you aren’t doing work.

Me: *taking deep breaths* My. computer. isn’t. working.

Teacher: I thought [Girl] was helping!

Before I can explain she has dragged the girl back over. I just give up at that point. Eventually my computer randomly starts working, while the girl hangs around when the teacher is watching, and goes back to work when she is not. I tell her I’m sorry for taking so long, and she goes away. Eventually…

Teacher: Oh! Your computer started working!

Me: Yeah, it just-

Teacher: [Girl]! Come here.

When the girl comes the teacher praises her in every shape and form. When she is done, having now gotten girl WAY behind on her work…

Teacher: *To me* See! You should be more patient! I told you [Girl] could fix it.

Me: … really?

Sibling Rivalry Doesn’t Even Require Siblings To Be Present

, , , , , | | Friendly | May 18, 2018

(I decide to get my Bachelor’s at the same university that my siblings went to, and I end up at the same on-campus residence. For the most part, this is fine, except for one thing: one of the residents was also at the residence with my older sister, and she keeps assuming that my sister and I like the same things, since we’re related. I keep trying to emphasize that we’re different people, but she never seems to clue in. Then, one night at dinner…)

Resident: “Hey, [My Name]! I’m putting together a volleyball team. Would you like to join?

Me: “No, thanks. I’m not interested in sports. Besides, I have the coordination of a drunk panda.”

Resident: “Really? I thought you’d love volleyball. After all, your sister played on the state team!”

Me: “All right, clearly I need to reintroduce myself.” *I lean over the table to shake her hand* “Hi! My name is [My Name]. I like horses, Doctor Who, reading, and the occasional Dungeons and Dragons campaign. You seem to have me confused with [Sister], the volleyball player, painter, and singer. However, despite the fact that we’re related… and I can’t stress this enough… WE ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON!”

(To [Resident]’s credit, from that point on, she made an effort to learn what I liked, and she got much better about not comparing me to my siblings.)

I’ve Got A Couple Of Beeping Words I’d Like To Say To You

, , , , , | Right | May 16, 2018

(The customer is trying to pay using PayPass, which means you just tap your credit card to the reader. The machine beeps twice, which means the transaction hasn’t gone through.)

Customer: “It beeped twice; does that mean I was charged twice?”

Me: “No, it means it didn’t go through at all. Try holding the card a bit longer; it will only beep once.”

(The customer taps and takes her card away too fast, and the machine beeps twice.)

Me: “Just hold it there for a second while the machine reads the card, then it will beep once.”

Customer: *taps too fast, machine beeps twice* “It beeped twice! It’s charging me every time it beeps!”

Me: “No, only one long beep means the transaction has been accepted.”

Customer: *holds card to the reader until one beep sounds*

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes! I want to make sure you didn’t charge me six times!”

Cookies Don’t Cause Cancer

, , , | Right | May 15, 2018

(I live in Australia. I work at a petrol station and as it is around Christmas time, our work has bags of cookies we can give away free to customers. A customer has just finished paying for her fuel.)

Me: “Would you like a complimentary cookie today?”

Customer: “Oh, no! I can’t possibly have that; it’s summer season! I have to watch my figure!”

(Having heard this from a lot of people that day, I let it go and wish her a good day. She then turns back around.)

Customer: “Oh, I almost forgot! Could I get a pack of [cigarettes]?”

Knee Jerk Humor

, , , | Right | May 15, 2018

Me: “Welcome to [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?

Caller: “I need some assistance with my Internet connection; it’s not working.”

Me: “I can assist you with that. Let me grab some details about your account and take a look.”

(I proceed to gather account information and notice that the caller is in her late 80s. After testing the connection, I notice that our systems are showing that nothing is connected to the data socket in the premises.)

Me: “Okay, I think I may have identified the issue. Do you know where the data socket is in your home?”

Caller: “Yes, it’s under my dining table.”

Me: “No problem. I just need you to check the cable connection, as it may have come loose or have been knocked out of the socket.”

Caller: “Give me a minute, love; I’ve got to get under the table.”

(I hear the caller put the phone down and there are a few grunts as she climbs under the table. She picks up the phone again.)

Caller: “You know, I’ve only known you for five minutes, and I’m already down on my knees.”

(I start giggling, but do not attempt to mute my microphone.)

Caller: “I don’t just do this for any man, you know.”

Me: *uncontrollable laughter*

(The caller finds that her cable was unplugged from the socket accidentally. After reconnecting it, her service begins working normally.)

Caller: “Thanks so much for that, and I’m sorry for being inappropriate.”

Me: “Don’t apologize; you have made my day. I am glad your service is working.”

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