A Fowl Plot

, , , , , , | Right | June 16, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, these ‘Wicked Wings’ you gave me are hot and spicy.”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t eat anything that is spicy because of my health. You should have told me they were spicy.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I assumed you’d known because that’s the only thing you ordered. I’ll give you a refund.”

Customer: “No, that’s not good enough. You should have told me that they are spicy; it’s your responsibility.”

Me: “I apologize.”

Customer: “I thought it was made from the evil chickens or something.”


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Damage Your Self E-Steam

, , , | Right | June 14, 2010

(A customer brings in a steamer set.)

Customer: “This doesn’t work. It’s faulty.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with the item?”

Customer: “It doesn’t steam the food.”

Me: “Okay, I’m just going to have to test it, to confirm that it’s faulty.” *I ask my coworker next to me* “How much water do I put in it?”

Customer: “You put water in it?”

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Not Getting The Picture

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2010

(I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the Internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

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Stealthy Healthy

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2010

Customer: “You don’t have anything healthy on the menu!”

Me: “Well, the salmon is–”

Customer: “Yuck! No one eats salmon! You people have no healthy options on this menu!”

Me: “The steak is extremely lean and grilled. You can have it with the vegetables, or the salad with no dressing.”

Customer: “Yuck! I hate steak! And I am not having vegetables!”

Me: “The tuna steak is–”

Customer: “Yuck!”

Me: “Or you could try the–”

Customer: “There is nothing healthy on this menu! Give me a bowl of chips. With gravy. And cheese.”

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An Inconvenient Car Boot

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2010

(We are a plant nursery trying to reduce the amount of plastic bags we give out.)

Me: “Do you need a bag with that? We can give you a reusable plastic car boot liner or newspaper.”

Customer: “No bag. I’m trying to save the trees and the planet.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: *short pause* “Have you got a sheet of plastic I can use instead? Like the car boot liner, but with handles?”

Me: “What, like a plastic bag?”

Customer: “Perfect!”


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