(For weeks, a woman that I work with has been excitedly telling me that her little niece from another state is coming to stay with her for a few days. For the record, this coworker is in her mid-thirties, married but childless, and she is always talking about her little niece.)

Coworker: “You’ll meet my little niece today; [Husband] is dropping her off on his way to work so she won’t be at home alone.”

Me: “Oh, that’ll be nice”

Coworker: “Yes, it’ll be so cute! She’s going to help out here, but I am a bit worried about what I am going to tell [Husband’s Sister] about what she did last night.”

Me: “Oh?”

Coworker: “Yes. She decided she wanted to see [Major City], so we took her there, but she also wanted to go and see [Notorious Part of the City].”

(That area used to be well-known for having brothels, but has cleaned up over the last ten years and become a respectable location.)

Me: “Oh, that area’s not so bad now.”

Coworker: “But I still have to tell her mother, and I know she wouldn’t be allowed to do that sort of thing at home. It’s her first time away from home.”

(About half an hour later, I see my coworker talking to a woman.)

Coworker: “Oh, [My Name], my little niece is here. Come and meet her.”

(I look around for a child.)

Woman: *looking embarrassed* “Oh, come on, [Coworker]. When are you ever going to stop calling me that? I’m five years younger than you!”

Coworker: “But you were little when I first met you!”

Woman: “No, I wasn’t; I was fifteen.”

(I am ringing up a woman’s purchases. She tries to pay with a cheque, but we’ve not accepted cheques for years.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept cheques.”

Customer: *immediately on the defensive* “I rang you up earlier to ask if you accepted cheques and was told you did.”

Me: “You didn’t speak to me, because I would have told you that we didn’t. We haven’t accepted them for years.”

Customer: “I spoke to someone; it must be one of them.”

(I ask the staff if they’ve spoken to someone today regarding accepting cheques and am told no. The woman is still ranting and raving.)

Me: “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll make a call.”

(I call our regional manager and explain the situation.)

Manager: “I can’t okay this, but try calling [Security Manager]. We used to take cheques. I know we had to get authorisation from the bank and the customer needed to supply proper ID. The customer also can’t take the purchases until the cheque is cleared.”

(Just then, I hear the customer saying something.)

Customer: *still ranting* “Now I have to tell my son his cheque is wasted.”

(I mention that to the manager.)

Manager: “No, no, no! We have never taken cheques unless they are presented by the account holder with proper ID. Don’t bother wasting [Security Manager]’s time.”

(I pass the information on to the customer, who ends up buying the items with her card before leaving, still ranting.)

Me: *to coworker* “I wish I knew who told her that we accept cheques.”

Coworker: “We do take cheques, but they have to have ID.”

Me: “We don’t accept cheques.”

Coworker: *who has worked for us for eight years* “Since when?”

Me: “For well over six years. Was it you who told the customer we did? You said no when I asked.”

Coworker: “You said today; I told someone yesterday.”

(A new friend is telling me how she met her husband:)

Friend: “We worked at the same place. I was new, and as soon as I saw him I knew I had to be with him, so I went after him as best as I could. I flirted with him all the time, and kissed him at the Christmas party.”

(At the time, he was married, as was she. After they got married, her husband’s ex-wife tried to be on friendly terms to her for the sake of her children.)

Friend: “Why would I want to be friends with that woman? When we first moved in together, she had the hide to blame me for ruining her marriage, and that’s something I will never forgive her for. She’s such a b****.”

This story is part of our Cheaters roundup!

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

(We have huge stacks of little stuffed animals on the counters as part of a promotion. If you spend over a certain amount, you can buy them for $5 each. We have a huge box near the exit doors where you can put them so they will go to children in need for Christmas. You can obviously just choose to keep them for your kid, so most people buy two and toss one in the box on the way out. A young woman comes through my checkout with her adorable five-year-old girl. The girl is instantly over the moon when she sees the purple penguin toy on the register. Her mum grabs it for her.)

Customer: “How much are these?”

Me: “They’re five dollars each because you spent over [amount]. Would you like one to donate?”

(The customer looks over at the box by the doors, sees the huge charity logo on the side, and starts to speak to her daughter.)

Customer: “Look, [Daughter]. If we buy some to put in the box, then another nice lady will bring them to kids who don’t have any toys for Christmas!”

Daughter: “Like [Lady], who brought me presents last year?”

(The little girl is in very nice clothes, and the mum is well-dressed and holding a new model of phone, so I am mildly surprised.)

Customer: “Yes. When Daddy was sick and couldn’t go to work anymore, they brought you presents! Let’s get some for some other kids, too.”

(The woman purchases the penguin, along with five other toys, and tells her daughter to go put them in the box while she packs up her groceries. I watch the little girl go over to the box and put the toys inside. Then, she stops and looks down at the purple penguin in her other hand. She pauses for a moment, and then puts that one in the box, too. She comes back to her mother.)

Customer: “Sweetie, I bought the penguin for you for being a good girl; I didn’t mean you had to give that one away.”

Daughter: “I know, but I have lots of toys, so it’s okay. Now, someone else will get him for Christmas!”

(My supervisor who was manning the checkout behind me grabbed another penguin and shoved it into the little girl’s hands, demanding that she kept that one, while everyone teared up a little. Lady, if you ever read this, you raised one heck of a kid.)

(We are invited to a family party by my in-laws. As usual, they only remember to call on the day of the party. I work most weekend nights and am not able to attend as I have to give more than two weeks notice. I mention to a coworker that I am missing out on a party and that I wish it could have been held the next weekend when I have the Saturday night off.)

Coworker #1: “You should do what I do; you should have just called in sick and gone to the party.”

(I go to work the following Sunday. I notice that I am working with a different staff member.)

Me: “Oh, is [Coworker] sick?”

Coworker #2: “You didn’t hear what happened?”

Me: “No, is she all right?”

Coworker #2: “She got fired last night. The idiot called in sick so she could attend her boyfriend’s staff Christmas party.”

Me: “Um… Doesn’t her boyfriend work here as security?”

Coworker #2: *nods yes* “And the party was held here, and our management was invited, too.”