(In class we are playing a KAHOOT — online quiz — about childhood TV shows. Everyone is talking about how much they love these shows. Then, this question comes up:)
Question: “Which TV show does this character come from?”
(The picture is Bob the Builder.)
Entire Class: *at the same time, singing* “BOB THE BUILDER! CAN HE FIX IT? BOB THE BUILDER! YES, HE CAN!”
(Then we went back to the quiz like nothing had happened.)
(I work in the deli section of a small, independent grocery store. It’s twenty minutes past my shift end, and I’m still in the store doing some personal shopping before going home. A coworker, who has been rude to me before, starts calling out, “Deli! Deli! DELI!” until I turn around. She is with a regular customer, who gets specialty bread from the freezer out back.)
Coworker: “Do you know where the bread is? The specialty one?”
Me: “Yes, but—”
Coworker: “Go fetch it, then.”
Me: “No, I’m not on shift. It’s in the freezer and clearly labelled.”
(I go to leave. I’ve been paying for my stuff while this happens:)
Coworker: “No, you need to get it.” *to the customer* “She’ll get it for you. No worries.”
(Just as I’m about to tell her goodbye and leave, my boss — the owner of this particular store — comes out, and having heard part of the conversation, turns to me and says:)
Boss: “You can spare two minutes. I’ll wait.”
(I hate these people.)
(I am in a supermarket with my mother. She swipes an empty, non-shoplifted cola can from my hand and stuffs it on a shelf.)
Me: “Mother!”
Mother: *hushed tone* “It’s their job to pick it up.”
Me: “That’s because there are people like you who can’t be bothered to put trash in the trash can!”
Mother: “There’s no trash can!”
Me: *points to trash can* “There’s one, like, ten feet away, just over there!”
(This isn’t the only thing about shopping we disagree on; I used to put back things other customers had decided they didn’t need and left in some random section of the store, to make the employee’s jobs easier, and she was annoyed to no end by this. I don’t do it anymore. The way I see it, if you leave baby formula in the booze section, you deserve judgement by strangers, but she’s not a fun person to shop with when she has plenty of time to do it.)
(I’m on the train on the way to meet up with some friends. It’s around the time that Twilight is really popular. As I stand to get ready to get off, there’s a teenage girl glaring at me because of the shirt I’m wearing. As I move closer to the door she comes up to me.)
Girl: “Why would you wear that? It isn’t funny.”
Me: “Yeah, it is.”
(She turns to a teen boy she’s with.)
Girl: “[Boy], tell her that it’s a terrible shirt.”
(He looks at my shirt, starts laughing, and gives me a fist bump.)
Boy: “That’s the best s*** I’ve seen in a long time.”
(The girl walked off in a huff. I got off the train and went about my day with my friends, two of whom had the same shirt. What did my shirt say? “Then Buffy staked Edward. The End.”)
(A customer comes in with his tablet; he’s been having a lot of problems with his eBook account and wants a hand.)
Customer: “Can you please help me get this book onto my account? I bought it the other day but can’t see it. The book in there should be [Christian-based book about Jesus].”
(I go through the app and cannot find any trace of the book.)
Me: “I cannot seem to find the book anywhere. Do you mind if I access your web browser so I can have a look at your settings for your eBook account?”
(The customer had no problem with the gesture. I went to open up the browser. About ten p*rn tabs were already open. I looked up at the old man and quickly exited the browser, as there were customers behind him who probably saw it. He didn’t even looked phased or embarrassed; he just stood there.)
