The World: America’s Theme Park

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2009

(Note: this takes place at our cafe in Kuranda, Australia.)

Tourist: “Lady, how about we make a deal? I wanna buy this bottle from you.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We only have four of the blue ones and they’re not for sale.”

Tourist: “So you’re telling me I can’t buy this?”

Me: “Yes… I know it’s a nice bottle, but we do need it for the water.”

Tourist: “Lady, I don’t think you understand what I’m getting at.”

(The tourist pulls a wad of US money from his wallet.)

Tourist: “I got REAL money here!”


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Actually, We’re Saving Them For WW3

, , , , | Right | April 15, 2009

(At our restaurant, an American tourist tries to pay for his meal in American currency.)

Me: “Sorry, sir. We can only accept Australian Dollars here.”

Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Isn’t this like, our colony?”

Me: “I assure you, sir, Australia has never been an American colony. We were, however, once controlled by the British.”

Customer: “But… wasn’t it you we beat in World War 2?!”

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This One Needs The “Three Hour Tour”

, , | Right | November 26, 2007

Customer: “How long is the one hour tour?”

Me: “60 Minutes.”

Customer: “Where does the harbour tour go?”

Me: “Around the harbour.”

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