I work at a store that sells a number of chicken products. A customer walks up while I am serving another and asks for two cappuccinos. I was sure I had misheard him, and as I’m fairly new there figure maybe he is a regular I haven’t met and that my boss might know what’s going on. So I direct him to my boss.

Customer: I need my two cappuccinos!
Boss: We sell chicken.
Customer: No, I just paid for my cappuccinos! I need them!
Boss (pointing at our display cabinet): But we don’t sell them, we sell chicken.

It took a few minutes for him to be convinced, even though there is nothing to suggest that we sell any kind of coffee. He walked off, and a few minutes later re-appeared at a table his partner had been waiting at with two cappuccinos in hand.

This actually happened to my dad, but I arrived to see the tail end of it. My dad works in one of the major grocery stores as a cashier and has done — at this store — for nearly 28 years, so he’s seen a lot of weird customers. I think this one takes the cake, though.

A middle-aged woman came into the grocery store one afternoon. She grabbed a trolley and started to go up and down the aisles. It looked like she was doing a weekly shop, and the trolley ended up piled high with stock. She got into line at my dad’s register but didn’t load anything onto the belt. Slightly odd, but some customers won’t when there’s someone in front of them. However, when the current customer left — there’s not enough room to get out of the registers if someone has a trolley in front of you because they’re not that wide — the woman looked at my dad and the register… before walking right out of the shop!

I arrived outside to pick my dad up from work in time to see one of the front end supervisors and a security officer chasing after the woman with a full trolley of goods. She claimed that she didn’t think she had to pay, that she thought they were having a giveaway. They escorted her back to the store and requested that she either pay or leave with nothing. 

Just to clarify, this woman spoke English with an Australian accent, was well dressed and well presented, and didn’t appear to have anything wrong with her.

I don’t know if she truly was just confused or if she attempted to scam them. Either way, it’s definitely one of the stranger experiences that Dad has had!

I work at a major petrol station in Australia. It’s not compulsory to pre-pay for your fuel here, so we have to authorise the fuel pump from the till. We have 35 fuel pumps, so it can get pretty complicated sometimes!

It is during the busiest period of the afternoon when I notice that every time I try to authorise the pump, the customer hangs it back up again. This happens several times. Eventually, she comes running into the store.

Customer:
“The pump isn’t working! Fix it!”

Me:
“Sorry you’re having trouble. Just pick up the pump and put it inside the car and wait for a few seconds so we can authorise your fuel for you.”

Customer:
“I was doing that! It’s not working!”

Me:
“Please go out there and try again. It should be working fine now.”

The customer runs back out of the store and to her car. She picks up the pump, holding it above her head for a few seconds, and finally puts it into her car. We authorise her fuel and keep watching her. I check on the screen to check how much fuel she’s pumped and was surprised to see she had none. As I expect, the customer comes back into the store frantic about filling up her car.

Customer:
“It’s still not working! You said it would be fine!”

Me:
“Well, we did manage to authorise your fuel this time. Were you actually pulling the trigger on the pump?”

Customer:
“What? It doesn’t just work automatically?”

I am now holding back the urge to laugh.

Me:
“No, of course not. You squeeze the handle and the fuel will pump into your car.”

Customer: “Oh.”

She runs out of the store and back to her car. She picks up the pump and finally begins pumping. When she’s done she comes into the store, pays for her fuel, and then leaves. Thinking we’ve seen the last of her, I am relieved, only to see her running back into the store again.

Customer:
“There’s no fuel in my car! I just paid all this money and when I turned the car on, it still reads as empty!”

Me: 
“You do know you have to wait several minutes before the fuel gauge moves, right? Unless you spilled a tank’s worth of fuel straight onto the ground, it’ll be in your car.”

She protested some more but finally left. All I could do was giggle for the rest of the shift.

On Sundays, we have a “super Sunday deal” which discounts all footlong subs to $7 if you buy a drink, as well. A customer has purchased a six-inch meatball sub, which costs $5.45. She buys a 600mL bottle of soda for $3.75.

Me:
“That’ll be $9.20 all up, thanks.”

Customer:
“Excuse me, where’s the deal in that?”

Me:
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Customer:
“Your sign says that if I buy a sub and a drink, the sub will only cost $7! So why is my sub not $7?”

Me:
“That deal only applies to footlong subs and you have ordered a six-inch.”

Customer:
“Can’t you just give me the $7 deal with the six-inch, then?!”

Me:
“But you ordered a six-inch meatball sub. That costs $5.45.”

Customer:
“So what?”

Me:
“So, what you’re telling me is that you want me to charge you $7 for a sub that normally costs $5.45?”

Customer:
*Pauses for a few seconds* “No.”

The customer handed me $9.20 and quickly headed for the door.

My dad is the customer. In Australia, a bottle of beer is called a stubbie.

Dad:
“Hi, I would like to buy a carton of your cheapest stubbies.”

Cashier:
“Cans?”

Dad:
“No, stubbies.”

Cashier:
“Cans?”

Dad:
“No, stubbies.”

Cashier:
“Cans?”

Dad:
“No, I want stubbies.”

Cashier:
“Our cheapest beer is called Kahns. Do you want that or not?”