I’m waiting on a package. I see the delivery van pull up out the front, and my very large German shepherd goes out to investigate. As soon as the guy steps onto the driveway, he starts barking — not aggressively, just acknowledging the delivery guy is there.

The guy freezes in place as soon as he hears my dog bark. He wouldn’t be able to see the dog properly from the top of the driveway, but he definitely doesn’t sound like a small dog. The guy dithers for a moment, and I start getting up to go out to get the package from him.

The guy starts down the driveway again, which causes my dog to bark at him — again, not viciously — and the guy throws my package down on the driveway before him and flees back to the safety of his van.

I was laughing too hard to be upset.

I ordered a puzzle almost a month ago. However, I now have reason to believe the site where I bought the puzzle from isn’t an actual shop and is just collecting money without sending out the products, so I contact my bank. There is a long wait until someone is able to take my call: almost an hour. Then, a representative gets on. She quickly resolves the issue, arranges for my money to be refunded, and lodges a complaint against the site. Then, we finish up with this.

Representative: “Now that we have this resolved, I’ll happily file a complaint for you for the wait time. This is really out of line.”

Me: “Oh, you really don’t have to do that.”

Representative: “But you were kept on hold waiting. This should have gone through faster!”

Me: “Yeah, possibly. But I imagine that you’re both busy and short-staffed, and I honestly expected a long wait time.”

Representative: “Are you sure you don’t want me to file a complaint?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m sure. It’s really not a big problem.”

I have honestly never had so one so affronted on my behalf for a long wait time during a global health crisis!

I find a puppy in my yard and immediately start looking for the owner. My neighbour sees me carrying the pup.

Neighbour #1: “Oh, have you got a new puppy?”

Me: “No, I just found it in my yard; I’m looking for the owner.”

Neighbour #1: “Oh, I think it’s the same sort that the new neighbour at [street number] has. Maybe you should check with him.”

I take the pup a few houses up the street and knock on the door.

Neighbour #2: “Why do you have my pup? You can’t just come in here and take it!”

He snatches the pup roughly off me.  

Me: “I just found it in my yard; I was looking for the owner.”

Neighbour #2: “Well, I own it. That dog’s worth over a thousand dollars. I’m going to be breeding it with my dog and the pups will be worth thousands.”

I can sense that he’s implying that I was stealing the dog, but why would I carry it to his door if I had stolen it?  

Me: “Well, if you are that worried about the money, maybe you should make sure it can’t get out.” 

I mentally decided that I would not be returning the puppy the next time and would find it a home that cared for their pets instead of how much money the pets would bring in. I was not expecting any sort of reward; just a thank-you would have done. I have never spoken to that neighbour again.

I work in a fabric store and a lady has come in with a bag of fabric to return. I explain that we don’t return cut fabric unless it’s faulty.

Customer: “It is faulty.”

I pull out the fabric and notice that it has been cut into pieces. I can’t see any faults.

Me: “Can you show me where the fault is, please?”

Customer: “All the pieces are cut crooked.”

Me: “Did someone here cut the pieces for you?”

It’s against policy to do so because mistakes like this can be made.

Customer: “No, I cut them.”

Me: “Sorry, but there’s nothing I can do if you cut the pieces crookedly.”

Customer: “But your staff member cut the fabric crooked in the first place; I measured from his cut.”

Me: “You didn’t check to see if the cut was straight first?”

Customer: “NO, he’s supposed to be a professional and cut perfectly in line!”

Me: “We can’t guarantee a perfectly straight cut and always give a little extra fabric just in case.”

Customer: “I demand to see the manager, and I want something done about the incompetent staff member who sold me the fabric.”

Me: “It was the manager who served you, and I’m sorry, but he’s not here right now. He’ll be back in tomorrow if you would like to discuss this with him; I am not authorised to do a fabric return.”

Customer: “I’m not coming back tomorrow. Do you think I live here or something?”

Her RV is always parked in the parking lot and she’s always in it.

Customer: “Ring that woman who drives the [Company] van. I know she’s his boss.”

I called our line manager who refused to authorise a refund on what was basically the customers’ mistake.

I have just finished booking an overseas tourist who is a certified diver into one of our day dive trips. This particular trip is an all-day trip, with a good three hours of diving throughout the trip, with small surface interval times — breaks — on the boat as it moves between sites. This particular customer, a much older gentleman, just walks in and, already knowing exactly what he wants, announces that he wants to book this trip for the day after tomorrow.

Me: “All good to go! Here is your booking voucher; simply present it to the crew upon boarding and they’ll take care of you from there. Hope you have a great time out there!”

Customer: “Great! Just one last question: what time does the boat get back? It’s just that our flight leaves at [time roughly two hours after the boat returns].”

Me: “Certainly! As mentioned, it is an all-day trip so the boat will be returning at roughly five pm… Wait.” *Alarms bells ringing* “Sorry, did you say that your flight leaves that night?”

Customer: “Yeah! Five pm, hey? Oh, I didn’t realise it got in so late. Do you think we’ll make it to the airport?”

Now, our nearest airport is roughly an hour away, so while I do think the customer will be pushing it to make it to his flight, that’s not why I suddenly went quiet. You see, regardless of which SCUBA organisation you are with or which dive company you book with, they all say that, for medical reasons, you are not supposed to fly within twenty-four hours of your last dive. This customer’s flight is due to leave only two hours after the boat so he is certainly within the twenty-four-hour exclusion period for flying after diving. As a certified diver, he should definitely be aware of this rule.

Me: “Well, sir… I’m sorry, but you can’t dive on [Day].”

Customer: *Taken aback* “What?! Why? Is it because we won’t make our flight?”

Me: “Well, no. Unfortunately, you need to wait twenty-four hours after diving before flying. Knowing now that you are flying after your dives, I’m going to have to cancel your trip. I can’t allow you to dive when you are flying out so soon. I will, of course, refund your trip right now, or if you are available, move you to tomorrow?”

Customer: *Getting visibly angry* “What?! I can’t do tomorrow; I have another trip booked! I don’t want a refund, either; I want to dive! Why can’t I dive?!”

Me: “It’s a health issue, sir. Flying so soon after diving leaves you susceptible to decompression sickness, or the bends.”

Customer: *Sarcastic tone* “Oh, really? Well, missy, I’ve been diving since before you were even thought of. Since when did this become a thing?”

I am not putting up with the sudden rudeness.

Me: “Since we realised the debilitating effects, both short-term and long-term, of decompression sickness, sir, usually resulting in a painful death. Now, you have two choices: either move to tomorrow where you will be outside the twenty-four-hour exclusion zone, or if that’s not possible, I will certainly refund you.”

The customer is now getting supremely irate.

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Back in my day, we didn’t even have this sort of regulation! I came all the way from [Country] to see [Dive Destination] and I demand to see it!”

I am initially stunned, but then I compose myself.

Me: “Certainly, sir, I understand that coming all this way only to be told no would be incredibly frustrating. But right now, you have only one choice: leave, make up your mind, and come back when you have calmed down. If I don’t see you by [closing time], I’m simply going to take your name off the booking, no refund.”

The customer storms out of the shop, seething. I just shake my head and return to my work. It is nearly closing when the same customer comes walking back in, a smug smile on his face.

Me: “Good to see you again, sir. Did you decide what you would like to do?”

Customer: *Smugly* “I want the refund.”

Me: “Of course.”

As I’m processing his refund, he asks me this:

Customer: “If I didn’t tell you about my flight, would we be doing this right now?”

Me: “Well, no, but at the same time it’s good you did tell me. It’s not a good idea to keep things like that hid—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “That’s all I needed to know.”

I finish processing the refund. I hand him back his receipt.

Me: “All sorted, sir. Once again, I am sorry that you couldn’t go out—”

Customer: *Cuts me off again* “I just want you to know as soon as I left I booked with another company for that day. They were very happy to serve me. I look forward to giving them amazing reviews while you get one-star.”

I do not care about reviews, but I am more shocked that he was allowed to go diving even after his flight times make it dangerous.

Me: “Really? They booked you on even with your flight leaving so soon afterward?!”

Customer: “That’s the thing! I didn’t tell them! I’m going to have a great time, and I’m going to personally email you the bad review I leave!”

And he proudly strolled out of the store. I was amazed, and I wish I had found out which company he ended up with so I could’ve called them myself to warn them. I really hope he missed his flight, and if he didn’t, that he didn’t suffer ill effects.

We get that he spent a lot of money coming here, and that this particular area is a dream destination for a lot of people. But it is NEVER worth your health! Still waiting for that bad review, by the way.