We have a sale going on which results in long queues. I am serving a woman who has a lot of items. My manager is serving behind me at another register. We call customers from the same line. He rarely serves, but I wouldn’t let him leave me alone on the registers.

Manager: “Okay, if every second person in the queue can line up over here.”

Me: “[Manager], can you take the next customer as she’s been waiting the longest?”

She is also a regular.  

Manager: “No, I called every second person, not every first. You have to serve her.”

Me: “She’s been waiting the longest.”

I finally get to serve her. By this time, the manager has gotten through at least four sales. I apologise to her; she is so pissed off. The next day, she comes back.

Customer: “I’m sorry I didn’t thank you for what you tried doing yesterday. [Manager] was so rude.”

Me: “Yeah, I am sorry. I have no idea what he was thinking.”

Customer: “Well, I just wanted to thank you and say goodbye. You can tell [Manager] that I’ll be taking my business to [Competitor] from now on.”

Me: “Okay, I might see you there. I always shop there; they have better things than we do.”

Customer: “And they don’t have [Manager].”

Me: “They used to; that’s where he came from.”

Customer: “They probably fired him.”

Not sure if that was the case, but he was offered demotion or a forced resignation a couple of months later.

Related:
Manager, Manage! Part 3
Manager, Manage! Part 2
Manager, Manage!

I am getting married. My partner and I decide to ask his niece to be a junior bridesmaid so as to avoid problems with family politics. The first sign of drama was when her mother, my sister-in-law, suggested that I make her my “Junior Maid of Honour”, because she had a “special relationship” with me, more so apparently than the other junior bridesmaids. This was news to me, and WTF even is that?!

Then I was asked to give her a “job” to do so she felt important. I wasn’t keen on this because of the added complexity but nevertheless figured something out to avoid problems.

A couple of months down the track when nothing had been done I queried it and was told that she was completely overwhelmed and suffering extreme anxiety and the burden I had placed on her was unfair. The job? Choosing from a selection of three different earrings for the junior bridesmaids, which I had confirmed with her mother was appropriate before asking.

I apologised (with a lot of eye-rolling) and withdrew the “job”. I was then accused of not making her feel important enough.

I was then asked by my sister-in-law if I could arrange to have robes for my bridesmaids because her daughter wanted them, and it was specified to me what slogan should be on them.

I was livid and refused, but was then told that my sister-in-law would buy one for (only) her daughter if I wouldn’t do it. So I went out and organised the robes so I wasn’t faced with a situation of two other little girls sobbing because they missed out and that brat prancing around rubbing their noses in it, and also so I didn’t end up with a tacky slogan designed by an eleven-year-old.

Then we got to the food. His niece wanted McDonald’s at the reception. I explained that this would not be possible, that the restaurant would not allow external food to be brought in, and frankly, neither would I because unless a guest has a medical issue it’s just downright rude.

I was told that she had to be allowed to get McDonald’s because that’s all she’ll eat and she couldn’t go hungry. I told her it simply wasn’t possible. My sister-in-law then threatened not to attend the wedding if we wouldn’t accommodate her daughter.

I removed them from the bridal party and told them where to go. The response? “So what are you going to do about the food?”

She’s told that there is no room to move on the food and to deal with it herself. She’s also been told not to sabotage it for the other junior bridesmaids, which is something I am worried about now that she will see her daughter is actually excluded from the whole thing.

I doubt they will come, and I don’t think she had any intention of attending unless her daughter could be the centre of attention. It really is like her daughter is the bride with all the demands.

I work in a grocery store overseeing the self-serve machines. I have to clean every machine between customers, something that’s generally pretty easy to do given how quiet things are. As I’m cleaning, a sweet-looking older American lady beckons me over.

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m sorry about this, but I’m a teacher, so I have to say it.”

She then explains to me in vivid and graphic detail exactly how the chemicals from the cleaning spray I’m using will enter into my body and eventually settle in my liver, leading to my death. I laugh awkwardly, not sure of what to say.

Customer: “I’m sorry. I’m an English teacher and my sister is a science teacher. She learns about this stuff and tells me about it. I’m sorry.”

She then carries on explaining how even dusting your house will destroy your liver, and how we should basically be wearing full hazmat suits with face coverings and goggles whenever we do any sort of cleaning, all backed up with detailed scientific fact. Finally, she pays and goes to leave.

Customers: “Bye. Thanks for your help. Sorry about all that.”

I continued cleaning each machine after she left, now with the knowledge that every squirt of the bottle was dragging me closer to the bleak inevitability of an early death. Thanks, lady.

I am a bus driver. My ticket machine and card reader are not functional today and everyone is getting a free ride. Even so, due to traffic, I am still running late. I pull up to the bus station and let everyone on. 

Me: *To every passenger* “It’s free; just jump on!”

Everyone thanks me and goes to sit down. I am repeating the phrase the whole time as people are getting on. But then, one kid and his mum get on and the kid just keeps trying to tap his card. 

Me: “It’s free; just jump on.”

Me: “It’s not working.”

Me: “The machine is not on.”

Me: “It’s not on.”

Me: “IT’S NOT ON!”

Mother: “Well, that was rude!”

Me: “What was rude was me saying it four times before having to raise my voice to get through.”

Mother: “I’m vision impaired.”

Me: “That doesn’t affect your hearing.”

Mother: “I’m going to complain.”

Me: “No worries. Enjoy.”

I arrive at work at the same time that the assistant manager does. She’s on the opening shift after our new store manager had a closing shift the day before.  

Assistant Manager: “What the f***? [My Name], come and look at this.”

All of yesterday’s takings are sitting on a chair in front of the safe. She rings the store manager to ask why she didn’t put the money in the safe. After she hangs up:  

Store Manager: “Oh, my God! I can’t believe that f****** woman. She’s an idiot.”

Me: “What did she say?”

Assistant Manager: “That she’s not used to having to put things into the safe. What the f***? Her last job was in a jewellery store”

Me: “Maybe that’s why she had to leave.”  

Assistant Manager: *Laughs* “You’re probably right. It’s not the first time she’s done something this stupid. I’m not letting her get away with it.”

She made a complaint to our regional manager and later heard that the store manager was telling others that she had a vendetta against her as she had been denied the job when she applied. They finally transferred the store manager elsewhere, and not long after, we found that she had been fired for covering up a loss of money.