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Never Bready For This Much Stupid

, , , | Right | August 12, 2021

I work in my local supermarket in the bakery department. We employ bakers who bake fresh bread every morning before we open. I then slice, bag, and put the bread on the shelf once it is cooled. Near me is a rack of also fresh bread that won’t fit on the shelf.

Customer: “Hey, where is your fresh bread?”

Me: “Right here, sir. I just finished stocking.”

I point to the shelf.

Customer: “No, that’s yesterday’s bread. I want today’s bread.”

Me: “Which is right here, sir.”

The customer now notices my bread rack.

Customer: “Ah, there it is; that’s today’s fresh bread. See, I knew you had it. I don’t want yesterday’s bread.”

Me: *Thinking* “If you did, I could go get it before it gets thrown in the dumpster.”

I just love when these people who I’ve never met and have never worked here tell me the bread isn’t fresh. Sigh.

The Bottom Rung Of Customer Service

, , , | Right | August 12, 2021

I need to change some signs at work so I have to get our tallest ladder out. The three-metre-high ladder is not tall enough for me to work safely on but, unfortunately, I am forced to do so by stretching as high as I can to reach the bar holding the sign without having to stand on the second rung. As I get the ladder into place, I see a customer at one of our displays.

Me: “Hi, is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I am just looking.”

I start climbing the ladder, noticing that the customer is watching me from near the display. I get to the top and stretch up to get the bar holding the sign to incline it. I need to use both hands — a huge safety risk as you are supposed to always have three limbs in contact with the ladder. I have my legs braced against the ladder, trying and hoping not to fall, when I hear the customer calling out.

Customer: “Excuse me, I need some help.”

I am thinking, “You waited until I got all the way up the f****** ladder.” I step down to a safer rung.

Me: “Okay, is it just a question I can answer from here?”

She picks up the smallest thing on the display.

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “The price ticket is on the shelf; it should be right in front of where you got that from.”

Customer: “I can’t work out which one it is. I need you to help me.”

I have to get off the ladder, fully knowing she did this on purpose, and go to point out the price ticket that was directly in front of the product. She puts the item back then moves away but keeps an eye on me. I am positive she’ll do the same thing, so I wait until she finally leaves the store before going back to my task.

On a side note, management will do nothing about the ladders being too short. After coming close to falling, I refuse to use them, so they resort to having taller staff placing signs. I am only 158 cm — about 5’2” — tall. A few months later, all of our stores are given platform ladders that we can use safely due to being able to stand on a platform at the top that has a waist-high safety rail.

Manager: “Oh, [Corporate] must have finally listened to all of the complaints. There was a message to say that we were to stop using the other ladders immediately.”

Me: “You know that someone had to have fallen off a ladder for them to finally acknowledge there was a problem.”

Manager: “Yeah! I know, but I am trying to believe that someone somewhere in the head office actually has some brains.”

Me: “I bet not. I just hope that whoever fell didn’t get badly injured.”

Will Have To Add Sexual Harassment To The Audit

, , , | Right | August 10, 2021

I’m the night auditor for a resort-style hotel. At approximately 1:30 am, just after the local bars have closed for the night, a woman enters the front desk area to go to her room.

Me: “Evening! Have you had a good night?”

Guest: “Yeah, I’ve had a great night. What about you? You look a little lonely.”

Me: “A little, but I have a lot of work to do, so it’s not too bad.”

Guest: “Well, you can always come up to my room; it’s just around the corner.”

I laughed awkwardly and she left. About five minutes later, I got a call from — though I didn’t realize it at the time — the same guest saying that her air conditioning wasn’t working. I went to the room to check the air conditioner and the guest greeted me at the door in her underwear. Being a very masculine-presenting but also very gay man, I simply turned on the air conditioner — it wasn’t broken — and walked out of the room.

Here’s a tip ladies: it’s still sexual harassment even if it’s a woman doing the harassing. Stop it.

When You’re Exposed To All The Weird Customers

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2021

I am a store manager of a well-known fast food place. We are short-staffed so I’m running the drive-thru and I only have one other employee with me at the front area. He is doing all the walk-in orders.

It is before lunchtime so it’s not too busy. As I’m handing out an order to a car, the passenger in the car starts screaming and pointing. The driver turns to her, confused.

Driver: “What on earth is wrong?”

Passenger: “Tha… that man has no clothes on!”

I turn to where she is pointing and, sure enough, there is a man exiting my store completely naked. I’m more surprised I wasn’t alerted to it sooner, and I turn to my employee who looks to be in shock.

Me: “[Coworker #1], what just happened? Did you just serve a man without clothes on?”

Coworker #2: “I didn’t realise… I turned around and a man was at the counter. I just thought he had no shirt on. He asked if we had a free burger. I told him, ‘No, mate,’ and he just walked out; only then did I realise he was completely naked!”

We both are just so confused about what just happened and we laugh. I call the non-emergency line to the police to let them know there’s a naked man on the loose. Apparently, I’m the fifth person that has called as, apparently, he also entered the shopping centre close by, and they are already on the way.

About twenty minutes later, we see him running out the front with two policemen chasing him on foot. We have another employee start within this time and she points it out:

Coworker #2: “Look, a naked man!” *Laughs*

They caught him five minutes later, and we saw them walking back with him in cuffs. We later learned he was on a ridiculous amount of drugs and didn’t even know he had no clothes on.

It’s Not Easy Being Green

, , , , , | Friendly | August 7, 2021

I’m checking out the new green waste wheelie bins that were delivered to our complex last week when a neighbour comes up and joins me. I read a note stuck on the top of the wheelie-bin.

Me: “It says, ‘For green waste only,’ and there’s a list of what is not to be put into it.”

My neighbour chimes in brightly, going off on a tangent.

Neighbour: “I put my woven bags into the green waste bin to get rid of them when they are worn out.”

I proceed hesitantly, not sure what to say and not wishing to start an argument.

Me: “The bin is only intended for green waste.”

Neighbour: *Cheerfully* “Oh! That’s all right, then! I only put the green bags in the bin, not the other colours.”