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Such A Cone Head

, , | Right | September 9, 2021

A woman enters our shop and checks the flavours and then the prices list.

Customer: “How much is the single cone?”

Me: “$4.00.”

Customer: “Does it come with the ice cream?”

Me: *Pauses* “Usually they do?”

Autopolite

, , , | Right | September 9, 2021

Every day, multiple times a day:

Me: “Hi there, what would you like today?”

Customer: “Good, thanks.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 56

, , , , , , , | Right | September 7, 2021

I’m working the register at a second-hand store when an older man walks in carrying a leather jacket with one of our store’s tags on it. We haven’t been letting customers try things on in the store for health reasons; however, we are more than happy to refund or exchange things if they get them home and they don’t fit, as long as the customer has the receipt and keeps our price tag on.

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this yesterday, but it doesn’t fit. I want a refund.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: *Slightly irate* “No.”

Me: “All right, did you have a loyalty card with us?”

Customer: *Getting angry* “No. Why can’t you just refund it?”

Me: “I just need a receipt in order to process the refund.”

Customer: *Almost yelling* “Just give me the money. I only bought it yesterday.”

Me: “If you only bought it yesterday, I can probably find the receipt in the system. Do you remember what time you were in?”

Customer: *Snapping* “You know what? Forget it!”

He throws the jacket at me and storms out. At this point, my manager arrives, having seen the last part of this conversation. I tell him what happened.

Manager: “You know, he fits the description [Coworker] gave of a man who walked out wearing a leather jacket while she was busy. I just assumed we wouldn’t see that jacket again. If he comes back, could you call me?”

He didn’t come back that day, but he did come back the following day while I wasn’t there. Apparently, he started verbally abusing [Coworker] about our prices, so the manager banned him from the store.

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 55
Refunder Blunder, Part 54
Refunder Blunder, Part 53
Refunder Blunder, Part 52
Refunder Blunder, Part 51

Volume High, Intelligence Low

, , , , , | Friendly | September 6, 2021

I live in a flat near a woman who disturbs the whole block of flats with her very loud music. When we can’t stand it any longer, a group of us go to ask her to turn it down a bit. Because the music is so loud, it takes a lot of banging on her front door to get her attention. When she finally answers, we can’t talk to her because the music is still far too loud.

I push past her, go into her flat, and turn the volume down so we can talk to her. She looks very surprised.

Woman: “How did you do that?”

I’m a bit slow on the uptake here.

Me: “What?”

Woman: *Very puzzled* “How did you make it go quieter? I have been annoyed by it being too loud since I got it.”

I’m very perplexed, as we all are.

Me: “You just turn the volume control knob and it goes lower.”

Woman: *Even more puzzled* “What’s a volume control knob?”

After a demonstration, she finally came to understand that she could use the volume control to turn the loudness up or down. It appears that no one had ever told her that there was such a thing as a control to change the volume. She thought it was set at one loudness and she had to make do with it.

She still sometimes has her music a bit loud, but it’s nothing like it used to be, and now she can turn it down when we ask her to.

That’s One Heck Of A Deal

, , , , | Legal | September 4, 2021

Shortly after I move into my first flat, the two young men who share the flat immediately below me pay me a visit. I’ve already found out they are drug dealers. Since I don’t indulge in any drugs myself, I’m not particularly pleased they have visited me.

Dealer #1: “We have come to tell you the rules if you are going to live here.”

I remain silent but a bit curious.

Dealer #2: “We don’t sell drugs to any of the residents of this block, and we don’t allow anyone else to sell here, either.”

Dealer #1: “And we don’t allow anyone in the block to use drugs.”

At this point, I’m a bit mystified and not sure what they are telling me. I’m puzzled and trying to think coherently.

Me: “So, you are dealers, but you don’t sell in this block, don’t allow anyone else to sell in this block, and don’t allow anyone in this block to use drugs?”

Dealer #1: “Exactly! And you don’t ever mention it to anyone.”

I’m not really interested, and mainly, I just want them to go away, but my curiosity won’t let me get rid of them while I’m so bewildered.

Me: “Do you mind if I ask why, if you are so involved with the drug scene, you are making those rules? It seems that you are just throwing away customers.”

Dealer #2: “Well, you see, if there’s no drug activity at all in this block, it won’t attract the attention of the Drug Squad and we can run our business in peace.”

As they made their way down the stairs, I had to admire their business sense and reasoning, even though I thoroughly deplored their actual business.