Need To Keep Watch On This One

, , , , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(I’m an assistant manager at a well-known retailer for young girls. It’s back-to-school time, which generally attracts some less-than-stellar customers. A woman in her 40s or 50s approaches me at the cash register, holding a watch we sell.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Is this a watch?”

Me: *confused* “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “But is it, like, a real watch?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is a real watch.”

Customer: “So, it works? Like, it tells time and everything?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It’s a watch. It tells time. Like a clock, but smaller.”

Customer: “Okay! Thank you!”

Me: *turns to an associate* “Did that just happen?”

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Unfiltered Story #105498

, , , , , , | Unfiltered | February 15, 2018

One year, me and my friends decide to go to an anime convention for the new year in Austin. We ended up booking tickets with a cheap bus company, and would soon grow to regret it. Though there was a bus station from our home city, arriving in Austin would present us with the company’s ‘station’ there; Namely a completely empty lot, several miles away from our hotel. It wasn’t so bad, except the walk convinced us to call a taxi for when we decided to return.

The day that the convention ended, and that we were supposed to take the bus home, we checked out of our hotel and began to enjoy the last day. A few hours before our bus was supposed to leave, I call a taxi to arrive at our hotel at a specific time. Nothing seems out of the ordinary…until the taxi arrives well over an hour before it was supposed to.

Not wanting to be standing in an empty lot, in the middle of Austin, I asked the taxi to come back in an hour. An hour passes… and the taxi never returned. It becomes a mad dash to find another way there, especially now that it was too late to call another taxi. We managed to find one of our friends from our hometown, who had driven and, therefore, had a car available. They drove us to the lot where the bus was supposed to be, with a good 5-10 minutes to spare, only to find that the bus HAD ALREADY LEFT.

Me and my friends were now stranded in Austin, with no hotel room, and the soonest bus from another company leaving early the next morning. (At this point it was only ten at night.) Two of the four of us decided to camp out at the bus station (an actual station), in order to catch the earliest possible bus. The friend who had given us a ride offered to let us stay in their room for the night, since they weren’t going to check out until the next day, and would drive us to the station in the morning.

Thankfully we were able to get home safely, without any other incidents. But that cheap bus company has most certainly made it where I’m never going to use it again!

Your Story Doesn’t (Lip)Stick Together

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2018

(A customer comes in to return two items. She does not have a receipt or the boxes for either product. She looks like a hippie version of a Jersey Shore cast member.)

Me: “Without a receipt or the original boxes, we can only do an exchange or give you the money back on a merchandise credit.”

Customer: “Oh, no, that won’t work. I really need the money, and I can’t use these products on my face because my friend just started an organic skin care line. I only use organic products on my face now. Please, I just really need the money.”

(My manager is right next to me. I explain the situation and she tells her the same thing I did. She continues to ask if we can call someone else over. We call another manager over, who tells her the same thing.)

Customer: “Please, I need the money for my rent. Can I buy something with the merchandise credit and return it and get cash back?”

Manager: “No, we can only refund in the original form of payment.”

(She decides to take the merchandise credit, which is over $100. I ask for her email for our rewards program.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t trust computers, except for Facebook!”

(I show her some products she’s interested in. She proceeds to apply a lipstick directly to her lips without it being cleaned off and disinfected. Thinking this would be a concern, since she only wants organic products, I tell her I can clean it off for her.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t care!”

(When she checked out, she spent the whole merchandise credit, plus $30. I thought she “really needed the money.”)

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Unfiltered Story #101652

, , | Unfiltered | December 15, 2017

(I work at a restaurant that does catering deliveries for offices, schools, parties, etc. and when we set the deliveries up by putting all of the required utensils, plates, etc. in the box, we get just enough plates in the box, so if there’s a delivery for 20 people, we give them 20 plates – if they request more on the paper, we give them extra.)

Customer: Is this enough plates for the delivery? I ordered for 10 people. *counts the plates which is a result of 10*

Me: (knowing I counted the plates before I left, so I was entertained by her counting to ten and she complains anyways – customers can be full of crap sometimes) Well, on my paper, it says 10 people so we got enough plates for that amount.

Customer: I still don’t think this’ll be enough.

Me: *face palm* Well, I’m sorry, but that’s how much they gave us.

Customer: It’s OK, don’t worry. *calls somebody on her phone saying that they only have 10 plates which apparently isn’t enough for 10 people and asking them to bring more*

My manager laughed his ass off when I told him what happened. I’ve dealt with rude customers, but never had I had to deal with ignorant customers. It’s hilarious.

Childhood Gone In A Puff Of Smoke

, , , , , , , , | Related | October 15, 2017

(My sister and her family are currently living with us, which results in some hilarious moments when her toddlers, ages two and four, get into things. This happens with the two-year-old. She always brings us our things when she finds them, from phones to shoes.)

Sister: “Yeah, [Sister’s Husband] was just saying– does [Two-Year-Old] have your vape?!”

Mom: “What?!”

(They both run to the living room as I’m bent over, talking to my other niece.)

Me: “[Four-Year-Old], do you want to play Barbies?”

Four-Year-Old: “[Two-Year-Old] got Nana’s vape!”

Mom: “She just hit the button; don’t worry.”

Sister: “No, Mom, she blew smoke out of her d*** mouth! [Two-Year-Old]!”

Mom: *laughing* “What the f***?! She normally brings it to us!”

(By this time, I’m in the living room, doubled over laughing. The two-year-old, who long ago decided I’m her favorite person, waddles up to me.)

Two-Year-Old: “[My Name], more!”

Me: “You want more of Nana’s vape?”

Two-Year-Old: “Yeah!” *claps and hops*

Sister: “H***, no! [Sister’s Husband]! [Two-Year-Old] just sucked Mom’s f****** vape!”

(None of us have any idea how my niece managed to successfully work the vape, but she was unharmed, and this will definitely be a story to tell for years!)

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