A customer has ordered and paid online through corporate. We cannot edit or control the online orders or payments aside from issuing a full refund. This means that the order is placed and pops up on our printer, we make it, and the customer picks it up.

Me: “All righty, here is your food. And if you’d just sign this receipt to show that you have picked it up, we’ll be all set!”

The customer pulls a small cardboard coupon from one of our boxes out of her pocket.

Customer: “I wanna use this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but your card has already been charged through the online system, which I don’t have access to. And that particular coupon can be used next time if you place an order in-store or dine in.”

Customer: *Snapping* “What do you mean, I can’t use it online?”

She throws the coupon on the counter in front of me.

Customer: “Then why’s it say, ‘online’?!”

I calmly pick it up and hold it out so that we can both see it. Then, I read aloud.

Me: “Save $2 on any [item] ordered in-store or dine in. Terms and exclusions apply. Not to be used with any other offer.”

I smile politely and hand it back.

Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “It can be saved for next time; there is no expiration on it. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

She glared at me and gathered her food and quickly left. I later pulled the order back up to take another look: she had already used a $5 off coupon when she placed the order.

A customer signals me that she’s interested in seeing some jewelry at the jewelry counter. I grab the keys and go over there to meet her. I ask her how she is and she immediately starts complaining to me about an employee.

Customer: “I saw an employee outside smoking at the end of the building in their car. I was about to call and report him but I figured he was a manager.”

Me: “Yeah, he’s the store manager, but I’m curious why you would want to report him?”

Customer: “I just feel like you shouldn’t be able to smoke while you are at work, like you shouldn’t drink while you work.”

Me: “Those are two completely opposite things. Drinking on the job is unacceptable due to the impairment it could cause and, you know, legal reasons. But smoking on their legal break isn’t against any policies, especially if they are in their car.”

Customer: “If he is the store manager, would he be able to give me a discount because I witnessed him doing something against policy?”

Me: “It’s not against policy to do whatever you please on your legal break. So no. I’ve worked here for almost ten years and that’s never gonna happen.”

Customer: “Well, I have a funeral to go to tomorrow at 11:00 am and was just trying to get something cheaper.”

Me: “Well, um, sorry about that, but it’s not gonna happen today.”

Me: “[Restaurant], how can I help you?”

Caller: “We need to make an order.”

Me: “Sure thing! Is this gonna be for delivery or pickup?”

Caller: “Delivery.”

I get their name and phone number into the system.

Me: “All right, what’s the street address?”

Caller: “We’re at the [International Hotel Chain].”

Me: “Okay, what is the address? There are a few around here.”

Caller: “Well, we’re not familiar with the area. It’s in [City we’re currently in.]”

Me: “Okay, there are three or four in [City]. Is there a main drag that you’re off of? A large street or highway?”

Caller: “Off of [Major Interstate that crosses a couple of states].”

Me: “Okay, what exit? I can try to look it up.”

Caller: “There’s a [Mexican Restaurant] next door!”

Being somewhat familiar with the area, I take a guess that they may be the next exit up from us.

Me: “Is there an office supply store across the street?”

Caller’s Husband: *In the background* “I don’t know! I’m looking out the window and all I see is a [Mexican Restaurant]!”

Me: *Googling* “Well, it looks like you may be on the next exit, which is just out of our delivery area. But fortunately, we can—”

Caller: *Click*

If she’d have listened, I’d have been able to suggest our new partnership with an app-based delivery service that would’ve been able to send someone to pick up and deliver her food. But how do you expect us to deliver if you can’t tell us where to go? Are we supposed to just know all of the hotels up and down the interstate and which one you’re magically in?

I work as a manager for a logistics company, and one of the jokes we have in the office is that there is no logic in logistics. The reason we say this is some of the things our customers and drivers tell us on a daily basis. Here is one small example of what I deal with.

Driver #1: “I demand to speak to a manager!”

Me: “How can I help? What’s going on, [Driver #1]?”

Driver #1: “Well, three weeks ago, I asked for vacation time for today. Two weeks ago, I decided I wasn’t going to take it and decided to come in. My name isn’t on the schedule!”

Me: “Wait… You decided you didn’t want the time off? Did you tell anyone?”

Driver #1: “NO! Why would I do that?! I am outraged! I demand an apology! You should have known I was coming in, though I asked for time off! This is an attack on my character! It is—”

Me: “Okay, [Driver #1]–”

Driver #1: “HOW DARE YOU SPEAK WHEN I AM NOT DONE?! THIS PROVES HOW THIS PLACE HATES ME! Refusal to put me on the schedule! YOU ARE ALL RACISTS!”

I start internally beating my head on the wall.

Me: “Okay… So, let me see if I have this straight. You asked for time off.”

Driver #1: “Yes!”

Me: “You decided that you didn’t want the time off and didn’t tell anyone?”

Driver #1: “YES!”

Me: “And you are upset because your name isn’t on the schedule, even though you are supposed to be off?”

Driver #1: “YOU ALL HATE ME! RACISTS! YOU SHOULD KNOW I DECIDED TO COME TO WORK!”

Me: “Well, [Driver #1], you really need to tell us that you decided to not take your vacation.”

Driver #1: “THAT ISN’T MY JOB! It is your job to know if I don’t want to take my time off! YOU ARE THE WORST MANAGER EVER!”

Me: *Internally screaming* “Okay! Well… I am sorry, [Driver #1], that we overlooked this situation. But, please, next time, just talk to management and we will work with you.”

Driver #1: “RACIST! I HATE THIS PLACE! PEOPLE PICK ON ME AND HATE ME!”

[Driver #1] leaves.

Driver #2: “Did… Did that just happen?”

Me: “Yup.”

Driver #2: “Man… I never want your job if you deal with grown babies like that.”

Me: “I wasn’t joking when I told you, ‘No logic in logistics.’”

I’m driving a leg of a bus route that goes from Dallas to New York. My portion of the run is from Atlanta, Georgia to Raleigh, North Carolina. The bus clearly says, “NEW YORK,” on the destination sign, but that doesn’t stop people from asking where the bus is going.

This exchange happens while I’m waiting for my passenger to come out of the station to the bus. A random lady walks up to me:

Lady: “Is this bus going to Jackson, Mississippi?”

Me: *Dumbfounded* “No, ma’am, it’s going to New York.”

Lady: “Oh… Well, is it going to Jackson, Mississippi after that?”