More Dramatic Than Anything You’d See On That TV

, , , , , , | Working | November 24, 2017

(My uncle, my brother, and I go to buy a TV for my grandmother. We find one and go to pay.)

Uncle: *to the cashier* “Can we split this on two cards?”

(She rolls her eyes and looks at us like we have asked her to do the impossible.)

Cashier: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Uncle: “Great! $250 on this first one, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, swipe the first card.”

(The entire amount of the transaction goes through on the first card.)

Cashier: “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Uncle: “I swiped my card, and the entire transaction went through.”

Cashier: “YOU DID SOMETHING! I DID MY PART RIGHT; WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

(At this point we’re already upset because we have done nothing and she is yelling at us.)

Uncle: “I did nothing but swipe my card.”

Brother: “It’s fine; I will pay you back later, [Uncle].”

Uncle: “Can we reverse the transaction and then try paying on the two cards again?”

Cashier: “DID YOU NOT HEAR HIM? JUST TAKE THE D*** TV AND LEAVE! HE WILL PAY YOU BACK LATER!”

(The manager came over and tried to calm her down. We started leaving, and the entire time she was yelling how her SEVEN sons were going to come find and beat us up.)

It Takes One To Cash One

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2017

(I am a cashier at a grocery store. The scanner has been acting up all day and not reading many barcodes, forcing me to type in the numbers manually. I’ve heard many, many customers joke that the un-scanned item must be free. I’ve stopped mentioning to the customer when an item doesn’t scan in an effort to reduce the frequency of the joke, but some customers still notice and make the joke anyway. It’s starting to wear on me, but I put on what I think is a polite smile and laugh every time. A customer comes through and has an item that won’t scan. I swipe it a couple times, then start to type the code.)

Customer: “Uh oh, it won’t scan?”

Me: “No, I’ve been having trouble with this scanner all day.”

Customer: “You know what that means, right?”

(He looks at me with a completely straight face. I resign myself for another polite chuckle.)

Customer: “That means that I must get it…”

(He pauses, as if waiting for me to fill in the blank. I smile outwardly and scream internally.)

Me: “…for free?”

Customer: “No. For regular retail price, because technical difficulties don’t entitle me to a discount.”

(I look up at him, shocked. He just stares back with a completely blank face. Suddenly we both burst out laughing.)

Customer: “I used to be a cashier; I know what you’re going through.”

Me: “Thanks! You just made my day.”

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Out To Extinguish A Dog’s Fun

, , , , | Working | November 23, 2017

(I am checking out with just three items: a dog toy, a fire extinguisher, and a compost aerator. It is Halloween.)

Cashier: “Looks like you’re making a really interesting costume!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s actually my dog’s birthday, so I had to get her a toy to rip apart.”

Cashier: “Ah, and for when things get out of hand…” *gestures toward fire extinguisher*

Roasting Them Over Their Scanned Roast

, , , , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(My daughter is vegan and likes a particular brand of meatless roast. They tend to be a bit pricey, especially when a special occasion like Christmas is just around the corner, so I am very happy to see that the price at a certain store is $19.99 – approximately $5 less than their competitor is charging.)

Cashier: “That will be $24.99, plus tax.”

Me: “That’s not right; the price should be $19.99, plus tax.”

Cashier: “It’s ringing up as $24.99, ma’am.”

Me: “Yes, I know, but the price in the freezer said $19.99.”

Cashier: *stares at me without saying anything*

Me: “Can I see a manager, please?”

Manager: “The price should have been $24.99, but somebody—” *glares at one of the other employees* “—forgot to change the freezer price-tag. I guess we’ll have to honour the lower price.”

Me: “Does this store offer SCOP?”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Me: “SCOP: Scanning Code of Practice. If an item rings up for a higher price than the one on display, I should either get $10 off the price or the item for free.”

Manager: “You must be kidding. You’re already getting a deal on this roast, and now you want an even better deal?”

Me: “Just asking.”

Manager: “We’re giving you this roast for $19.99. That should be good enough.” *leaves*

Me: “Seems to me that if I’m paying for it, you’re not ‘giving’ it to me.”

A Jedi Shall Not Know Love…

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 20, 2017

(I am a huge Star Wars fan, and after years and years I am finally buying the complete series, Episodes I – VI, on Blu-ray. I am 25 and have been single longer than I care to admit. This happens as I am checking out. The cashier is female; I am male.)

Cashier: *looks at my purchase “You must be single, right?”

Me: *not really paying attention* “What? Oh, umm… Yeah.”

Cashier: “I figured; you wouldn’t have time to watch all these if you had a girlfriend.”

Me: “Ha ha, yeah. I guess so.” *dies a little inside*

(I couldn’t bring myself to watch them for about a week after I bought them because it just reminded me that I could be out on a date instead.)

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