Ripping Through The Economy

, , , , , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(I am getting a customer her change. One of the dollar bills I hand her has a small rip in the corner, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. I give her the money, and she just stares at it.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Does this have a rip in it?”

Me: “Uh… I think it had a small tear–“

Customer: “Oh, no. I can’t accept that. [Store] makes so much money. They can stand to have some ripped up dollars; I can’t. [Store] just makes so much money.”

Me: “Would you like me to get you a different dollar?”

Customer: “Yes. [Store] makes a lot of money. They can keep this one.”

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 7

, , , , | Right | February 14, 2018

(I am cashiering at my store, where we have a rewards program for cardholders.)

Me: “Hi there. Find everything all right today?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you!”

(As I scan the first item, she looks confused.)

Customer: “That shirt was supposed to be 50% off.”

(When we scan items into the computer, it will automatically take off any discounts that we are currently offering, and the item is showing up as full price.)

Me: “Okay, let me just go to where it’s hanging and take a look at the signage to confirm that.”

(I realize the sign we have is a little misleading, so I decide to give her 50% off, anyway, and scan the next item, which also appears at full price.)

Customer: “That one is 60% off.”

(My manager is watching and goes to check the sign.)

Me: “Sorry, looks like that one is just going to be full price today.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s 60% off.”

Manager: “I’m sure the 60% off sign is for the shirts that are hanging directly underneath it, and not the one you have here, which was hanging several feet away.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, I guess. Also, can I use my rewards?”

Me: *glad she’s not making a fuss about the discount* “Sure! Just let me scan in the coupon for you.”

(When I scan it in, an error message pops up and tells me that the rewards code has already been used in a previous online order.)

Me: “Sorry, the computer is telling me you actually already used this reward.”

Customer: “But I didn’t use it. I didn’t buy anything with it.”

Me: “Well, the computer shows that it was used with an online order. Does that ring a bell?”

Customer: “No! I didn’t use it! I never made any online order!”

Manager: *annoyed at this point* “If you want to use the reward, you’re going to have to call our customer service line and dispute with them that you never used the code. There’s no way for us to just take the rewards money off of your purchase because you said you didn’t use it. Our computer tells us that the code was used.”

Customer: *also highly annoyed with us* “Fine. I’ll call them.” *pays for items and leaves, complaining to her friends that she never used the code*

Me: *to manager* “Yeah, the computer was definitely lying to me, and she was telling the truth. Not like she could have possibly forgotten she used the code.”

Related:
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 6
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 5
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 4

Let’s Hope That Other Thing Doesn’t Peel Off

, , , , , | Right | February 14, 2018

(It is Valentine’s Day, and unsurprisingly, I am serving many men buying flowers, chocolates, and condoms.)

Me: “Will you be paying by cash or card?”

Customer: “Card, thanks.”

(I see that the customer’s card is somewhat old, and the plastic film protecting the card is beginning to peel off. The customer’s card is not reading correctly. He repeatedly reenters his card into the machine, thrusting the card into the slot until it works.)

Customer: “This will be me later on.”

(His innuendo finally clicked and we both had a nice chuckle about it.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 74

, , , , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(A coworker has just finished ringing up a customer’s items and begins asking the usual required questions.)

Coworker: “Would you like to apply for the store credit card today, and save 30% when you’re approved?”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Credit card? My husband and I don’t believe in them!”

Coworker: *very seriously* “Oh, I assure you ma’am: they’re real.”

Customer: *confused stare*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 73
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 72
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 71

They Pay Twice As Much, Which Is Half As Much As You Deserve

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2018

(I am the shop assistant in a secondhand store. A customer is buying a lampshade and seems dissatisfied with the price.)

Me: “Okay, that comes to £1.50, please.”

Customer: “That is not worth the money!”

Me: “Er… Excuse me?”

Customer: “The lampshade is not worth £1.50!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot change the price. You don’t have to buy it if you don’t want to.”

Customer: “I want it. I’ll pay £3.00 for it.”

Me: “But that is not the price. You’ll be paying double for it.”

Customer: “I know. It is worth much more than £1.50! I always pay what an item is worth!”

(She then dumped the money on the counter, grabbed the lampshade, and walked out of the shop. I decided to put the extra money in the charity donation box on the counter, as this was easier than trying to explain why we were an extra £1.50 up!)

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