No One’s Winning Today

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2018

(I am walking up to the lottery counter to relieve my supervisor, who’s currently attempting to cover both supervising and the counter. She has to keep leaving the counter, despite a line of customers, to give the cashiers overrides. She’s currently just slipping back behind the counter to serve the next customer after having to run off.)

Supervisor: “Good! Do you have anywhere else you need to be? Can you cover this?”

Me: “Yeah, just let me close [Coworker]’s lane, so she can take her break, and then I can take over.”

Supervisor: *turns to next customer* “What can I do for you, ma’am—”

(We both look over to see the customer reaching over the lottery counter, trying to pull out a tray of tickets and help herself.)

Customer: “Finally, some service. God.”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 9

, , , , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(There is a beach volleyball tournament going on this weekend. My store manager is running a tent there and giving away coupons. Each person is really only supposed to have one of two: the one for 20% off for being at the tournament, or the other for 25% off, specifically for fitness trainers. There are two ladies in the store shopping together.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I got these coupons over at the tournament and I’d love to use both of them.”

Me: “Oh, okay! Huh, I thought my manager told me she was only handing out one kind. Are you a fitness trainer?

Customer #1: “Well, no… but I got them both.”

(I’m not sure if she lied to our manager, since it says right on the coupon, in large print, “For Fitness Trainers,” or if our manager was just feeling generous. It may be the latter, and none of us feel like arguing, since it is a laidback day, so I apply them both.)

Me: “Okay, here is your total, with both coupons applied.”

Customer #2: “Oh, wow! Look at that discount!” *to her friend* “You should definitely get that vest you wanted.”

Customer #1: “Yeah!

(She goes over to get a 30%-off vest she has had an eye on and adds it to the total. Since I’ve already applied the codes for the coupons, it takes the additional discounts off of the coat.)

Me: “Okay, this is your new total.”

Customer #2: *furrows her brow* “Huh, that still seems pretty expensive… and this is before the coupons for the jacket, right?”

Me: “Oh, no, the coupons are already added.”

(I show them on the screen what the new price of the jacket is.)

Customer #1: “No, that doesn’t seem right… This jacket was 30% off, right?”

Me: “Yes. It’s normally $100, then the 30% off makes it $70. With these additional coupons, the jacket goes down to $42, which is more than half off the original price.”

Customer #2: “But it should have taken off more than that. I don’t think you rang it right.”

Me: “Well, how about I take the coupons off, and then add them after I ring the jacket, to show you how much it takes off?”

Customer #2: “That’s a good idea.”

(I take off the coupon codes and ring the jacket again.)

Me: “Okay, this is the price it normally is, without the coupons: $70.”

([Customer #1 and #2] both nod in agreement.)

Me: “Okay, so, now I’m taking off the 25% coupon first. The jacket goes down to $52.50.”

Customer #2: “Okay.”

Me: “Now, I add the 20%-off coupon, which makes it go down to $42, like before.”

Customer #1: *sigh* “Well, that still doesn’t make sense. The jacket should have been 45% off with those coupons.”

(This happens quite often. Customers don’t realize that an additional percent off does not add onto the already marked percentage; it applies to the discounted price of the item. Isn’t math fun?)

Me: “Well, not exactly. It takes the 25% off of the $70 dollars, which makes it $52.50. Then, I take the 20% off of the $52.50, which makes it $42.”

([Customer #2] seems to get it, but her friend still looks lost, so she turns to her friend.)

Customer #2: “Y’know, that is still a pretty good price.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I guess, but I’m still not willing to pay $42 for a vest. Never mind; just take it off.”

Me: *sigh* “All right, then. Sorry it doesn’t work out for you.”

(I take the jacket off and finish the transaction, thanking them for coming in and sending them on their way. The assistant manager, who has been watching the transaction from behind the counter, finally groans in annoyance.)

Manager: “Jeez, did they want us to give the jacket away?”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 8
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 7
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 6

Not Quite His Style(us)

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(I’m a cashier and I’ve just started an eight-hour shift. The customer slides his card and hits “credit.” He approves the amount, and I type in the last four numbers on his card. When it comes to his signature he can’t get it to write. Our pads are picky, and if you put the stylus down too close to either the top or bottom lines of the box, it won’t write anything.)

Customer: “It’s not writing.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. You have to put the pen down in the middle of the box.”

Customer: “I don’t have a pin; this is credit.”

Me: “You have to put the pen on the box.”

(The customer then lays the stylus sideways on the signature box.)

Me: “Sir, you have to put the tip of the pen, that you write with, in the middle of the box, so that it’ll write.”

(Finally the customer understood and signed his name. Through this, one of my managers was standing behind me, trying not to laugh.)

You Can’t Be Banking On Bad Checks

, , , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(A woman comes up to the register using a cane and wearing a visor, huge dark sunglasses, and, strangely enough, a really big tag on a string around her neck with a handwritten name on it.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Did you find everything okay today?”

Customer: “Yes, I did. You know, my great-grandson was good friends with [Store Founder]. They went fishing together all the time on [Store Founder]’s old fishing boat.”

(As I ring her items, she continues to tell me about their fishing trips, the types of lures they use, the time they caught a really big fish, and so on. As I near the end of the transaction, she stops.)

Customer: “Just so you know, if my check doesn’t go through, just call [Bank], and they’ll tell you to send it through.”

Me: “Well, I can try, but if it doesn’t work on our machine, that won’t help much.”

Customer: *she doesn’t seem to have been listening; she digs out her driver’s license to show me* “Y’know, there’s a reason I always wear my sunglasses. A lot of people get suspicious, but it’s a medical issue.”

(Her explanation is so long-winded that I don’t remember everything she said. I’m a little suspicious by this point, but the picture on the license looks like the same woman and has the same name as the big writing on her makeshift name tag, so there isn’t much I can do. But by this point, my assistant manager is hovering around the register, too, also seeming a little cautious. The customer gives me a strange-looking, dark brown check after the transaction is finished. I attempt to run the check through, and it doesn’t work.)

Me: “Okay, sometimes it—”

Customer: “So, just call the bank.”

Me: “Ma’am, even if we call the bank, it won’t make a difference if our machine doesn’t read it. But let me try scanning it again; sometimes it doesn’t work the first time or even the first two times.”

(I scan the check again and, sure enough, it doesn’t go through.)

Customer: “Just call the bank. This happens all the time.”

(My manager steps in at this point and tries to explain the same thing I did, then has me try turning the check around, upside-down, and just about every way I can think of to try to get it to scan through.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t just call the bank!”

(My manager examines the check and sees that it’s an unusual type of check, where the routing number is, for some reason, split up into two. She tries typing it in manually, but it still doesn’t work.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but your check just isn’t going through. Do you have another method of payment?”

Customer: “CALL [BANK]!”

Manager: *finally had enough by now* “We can’t call the bank. Like we told you, even if the bank authorizes it, our machine won’t run it. The bank isn’t in charge of our machines. You need to use another way to pay.”

(The customer finally gives up at this point and, with an exasperated sigh, takes some of her items off the transaction and pulls out cash instead.)

Customer: “I can’t believe my checks can’t go through your system. My great-grandson and [Store Founder] would be so ashamed!” *she quickly finishes paying, gathers up her items, and leaves.*

(My manager and I both agree that this was all pretty suspicious. We weren’t sure if she was trying to pull the wool over us, or if she’s really just had this much bad luck in the past.)

Not The Best Passing Thought

, , , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(I am a manager at a popular theme park in Florida. A customer is complaining about the price of a princess dress. I have already started ringing it up and scanned their annual pass.)

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realize it was that expensive. Can I get a discount?”

Me: “Well, you already get a discount with the annual pass.”

Customer: “Can I get more of a discount?”

Me: “I am sorry. The costume is in pristine condition; there is nothing wrong with it. I cannot justify a discount.”

Customer: “Fine! Let me talk to your supervisor!”

Me: “She’s on break. I am the manager on duty right now.”

Customer: *leaning in close* “If you don’t give me a discount, I won’t ever come back to the park again.”

Me: “So, you’re going to waste your annual pass because I won’t give you a discount?”

(His face turned red and he shoved over the bills to pay for it. Obviously, I yelled after him, “Have a magical day!” in a cheery voice.)

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