This is a retail moment I’ve encountered that made me happy.

I was at the register, and I kept hearing a chirping noise. I didn’t think much of it and suspected it was somebody’s ringtone going off; it would not have been the first time someone’s phone rang while in line. I continued on and called over the next customers: a man and a woman.

As they got closer, the chirping noise gets louder.

Me: *Conversationally* “What is that chirping noise?”

Customers: “Oh, that’s our baby chicks. We just got them today, and we couldn’t keep them outside because it’s too hot out. Do you want to see them?”

I obviously said yes, because why would I not want to see some baby chicks? Then, they presented me with a box with airholes in it, containing six or seven baby chicks, all different colors. The pure joy I felt when seeing those baby chicks was indescribable.

I am being trained at the checkout of a grocery store. This is the second checkout I have worked at here, and I notice that both of them have the same drawer at the back containing nothing but old and very dirty coins. 

My manager and trainer are both present, so I take the opportunity to ask about it.

Me: “Why are there a bunch of grimy coins in the register?”

Manager: “Oh, yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. That’s the a**hole tax drawer. Whenever you get an a**hole customer who needs change, we always give them the dirtiest and grimiest coins we have. If you’re ever handed a disgusting coin in change from a customer, it goes in the drawer to be given to the next a**hole.”

Trainer: “And thus, the circle of life is maintained.”

I’m behind the wheel and feeling thirsty. I’m approaching a chain convenience store with no gas station attached. I’ve driven past it plenty of times, but I’ve never stopped there before. Attached to the street lights in their mostly empty parking lot are signs promoting their signature fountain drink size for only 99 cents. This chain of convenience stores has names for each size — Big, Super Big, Double — and their sign clearly shows a cup with “Big” emblazoned on it.

I go inside, grab a cup, fill it with my beverage of choice, and head to the counter. On the wall behind the counter is another one of these same signs: “99-Cent Big [Drink]!” The cashier rings me up, and just as I’m about to pay, I notice the total on the register. 

Me: “Excuse me, but why is the price $1.93? They’re 99 cents. You’ve even got a sign behind you that says so.”

I helpfully point at the sign that’s within arm’s reach of her.

Cashier: “Yeah, we’re not doing that anymore. You still getting it?”

She looks at me expectantly, and I always feel like a jerk for forcing someone to throw food or drink out at this point in a transaction, so I sigh and nod. I swipe my card since I don’t carry cash, and that’s when I notice that the total is now $5.15.

Me: “Wait. How in the world is this soda now worth more than four bucks?”

The cashier speaks to me like she’s speaking to a very small, bratty child.

Cashier: “You pointed at one of those 99-cent lighters. I can’t give you that for free.”

There are, in fact, some lighters on the counter, but they’re nowhere near me or the sign. More importantly…

Me: *Trying to keep my jaw from dropping* “I pointed to the sign for 99-cent drinks. While talking about the sign. Before you answered me. About the sign. This lighter, which I don’t want and never asked for, is clearly $3, not 99 cents.”

The cashier is now extremely annoyed at the only customer in the store for wasting her time like this.

Cashier: “Do you seriously need a refund for your lighter?”

Me: “Yes. I don’t want it. It was your mistake, and I’m not paying for that.”

Cashier: “Fine. Swipe your card again. You want a receipt for that?”

I’m not feeling very trusting of her for some strange reason.

Me: “Yes. Please.”

The transaction finished in silence. She never said thank you. I wouldn’t have said you’re welcome. So maybe that was for the best.

And that’s the story of how I wound up paying more for a convenience store soda than I would’ve at any of their nearby competitors by falling for an ad they didn’t feel like honoring. I never shopped there again, but when I moved away two years later, those signs were still up, and their parking lot was still empty.

I work in a souvenir and gift shop, so we are used to getting a lot of tourists. A man from the USA has placed some items on the counter, and I scan them and place them in a bag. 

Me: “That will be £44.12.”

Customer: “Do I give you this now?”

He hands me a membership card to a USA-based store that I recognize from the Internet.

Me: “Uh, no, sir. That’s a Target membership card. You need to give me money.”

Customer: “Oh, I use money to buy these things.”

Me: “Uh… yes, sir.” 

Customer: “Don’t use that tone with me! I’ve never been to England before!”

We’ve recently changed all of our plastic bags to those carrying the logo of an environmental charity. They cost the same amount as they always have, but now the store donates the cost of the bag to the charity.

Customer: “Do you have any bags that don’t donate to charity?”

Me: “Uh, no, ma’am. But they don’t cost you anything extra; the cost of your bag is donated to the charity on your behalf.”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t want to donate to that charity. I’d rather give to a charity that helps America.”

Me: “Helping the environment helps the world, ma’am, including the USA.”

Customer: “Yes, but I want to donate to a charity that helps only America. When the environment goes bad, it just floods those poor countries, so I don’t see why we should have to give any money to them.”

Me: *Swallowing the anger that’s building* “Ma’am, climate change means more hurricanes in the southern states, which are definitely part of the USA.”

Customer: “Yes, but that’s because they let all the Mexicans in.”

Me: “Are you implying that Mexicans cause hurricanes?”

Customer: “All I’m saying is that there were a lot fewer of them when there were a lot fewer Mexicans around.”

Me: “Did you get that from a Facebook newsfeed?”

Customer: “Oh, good! You saw it, too!”

The customer eventually accepted the bags when I reminded her that climate change can cause forest fires in California and ruin ski seasons in the winter. As soon as it affected rich white people, she was happy to buy as many as she needed. I needed a breather after her.