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You Don’t Have To Love Your Job, But You Gotta TRY

, , , , , , | Working | July 26, 2023

I work in a small, non-chain store. Every associate here is trained in every department so that we can fill in as needed. We may be scheduled as a cashier one day, then a floor associate the next, and then work in online order fulfillment the day after. Ninety-nine percent of the associates prefer it this way because we aren’t stuck doing the same thing day in and day out, and we have a wider knowledge of the ins and outs of the store.

[Coworker], a man in his fifties, does not prefer this. He only wants to be a floor associate because he can walk the store “helping” people without actually doing anything. I will never understand how someone would prefer to be stuck in one place for eight hours at a time without something to do, but that’s how he likes it. 

[Coworker] is scheduled to be a floor associate one day when I am on the register. The line is getting longer than it should be, so I call for help. [Coworker] comes over, followed by a manager. Judging by the looks on their faces, [Coworker] and [Manager] have had to have a little chat about his duties around the store. [Manager] goes to register three and [Coworker] goes to register two.

Customer: “Hi, are you opening this register?”

Coworker: “I don’t know how to do this.”

Manager: “Yes, you do. You sign on with—”

Coworker: “I don’t have a sign-on.”

Manager: “Yes… you do. It’s your login for the online order system.”

Coworker: *Heavy sigh* “I’ll try it, but I wasn’t trained.”

He scans at a snail’s pace, stopping every few items to drink from his water bottle or dramatically sigh and stretch.

Coworker: “I don’t know how to do this.”

Me: “Do what?”

Coworker: “She has a tax-exempt thing.”

Me: “Okay. Did you ring all the items?”

Coworker: *Shrug* “I don’t know.”

Customer: *Impatiently* “Yes, he did. Now he just puts in the exempt ID, right?”

She reads off the tax-exempt ID number.

Me: “Yup! She’s got it!”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Manager: “Hit the ‘TAX EXEMPT’ button and type in the ID number she just read off.”

Coworker: “How do I do that?”

I can see [Manager]’s eye beginning to twitch with the stress of ringing up customers and babysitting [Coworker].

Customer: *To me* “Was he trained on the register at all?”

Coworker: “No.”

Manager & Me: “Yes!”

Manager: “Everyone is cross-trained to provide customer service wherever it is needed.”

Coworker: “This isn’t my job! I hate the register!”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Coworker: “What?”

Customer: “You’re up here whining about having to do the same job your manager is doing? Get over yourself or get a new job.”

She takes her receipt and leaves.

The rest of [Coworker]’s transactions go smoothly, as he has suddenly remembered how to run the register. At the end of the rush, he goes to the back room.

Me: “Where is he going?”

Manager: “I think he’s quitting.”

Me: “Oh. Okay.”

[Coworker] storms past us with his jacket on his arm. As soon as he is out the automatic door, he turns and whips his name tag back at us inside and throws his uniform shirt on the ground as he crosses the street. [Manager] goes out to get the shirt.

Manager: “Yeah. Definitely quitting. Oh, well, no loss.”

[Coworker] tried to file for unemployment, but since he had abandoned his job without notice, he did not get it.

There’s Handling Customers, And Then There’s “Handling” Them

, , , , , , , , , | Right | July 25, 2023

A customer is checking out some items at my checkout. She has three of one item.

Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, these are currently buy one, get one free.”

Customer: “Stop trying to upsell and just do your job. I’m on to your corporate tricks!”

Me: “Apologies, ma’am. I was simply letting you know that you could take one more of the same item for no extra cost to yourself.”

Customer: “There’s always a cost! You’ll need my email or phone number, I bet? Or you’ll charge me more tax or something!”

Me: “No, I was—”

Customer:Don’t interrupt a customer!

This is said so sharply and shrilly that it gets the attention of my manager, who comes over.

Manager: “Is everything okay over here?”

Customer: “Your salesgirl was trying to upsell to me, and I am not having any of it! I’m too smart for your tricks, and as a manager, I want you to know that they’re not appreciated.”

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, I can tell you’re quite sharp. And you’re correct; my employee shouldn’t have tried to sell one item to get another for free to such a person.”

Customer: “I’m glad we’re in agreement.”

Manager: “But guess what, ma’am? If you buy one, you get one free, but if you buy two, you get two free! And guess what?”

Customer: “What?”

Manager: “If you buy three, you get three free!”

Customer: “What if I want four?”

Manager: “Hmm… well… since I am the manager and you’ve been so nice, I will sell you four and give you four for free. 

The customer happily purchases four of the items and walks out with EIGHT of them. As she passes me, she smiles smugly.

Customer: “Now that is how you should treat your customers!”

Popping Her Bigot-Balloon

, , , , , , , , , , | Right | July 25, 2023

My daughter is six and enjoys an animated show about a young girl who lives with her Inuit family in Alaska. The show blends the girl’s cultural traditions with twenty-first-century life and often uses words in Gwich’in, the tribe’s native language. My daughter has picked up a few of the easy ones. We also spend a lot of time talking about the culture portrayed in the show. I love the culture and diversity it exposes my daughter to as we live in a very homogeneous area.

One day, we are in a grocery store where children can get a free balloon at checkout. We are chatting with the cashier, and as I pay, she asks if my daughter would like a balloon. I tell her of course, and she offers her one. [Daughter] beams at her.

Daughter: “Mahsi’ Choo!”

Pronounced “mah-see cho,” it means “Thank you.”

Out of nowhere, a woman I haven’t even noticed behind us snaps:

Woman: “You should teach your brat to speak English! This is America!”

Me: *Frostily* “She’s using a word she learned from a children’s show about a native tribe in Alaska.”

Daughter: “It’s called [Show], and they teach us new words and fun stuff about people who are different from me. And my mama teaches me to be kind and not call people names.”

Cashier: “And that’s why you and your mama each get another balloon.”

We left with three balloons, and I could not have been more proud of my daughter or pleased with that cashier.

The Couponator 41: The Saga Of The Long-Suffering Wife

, , , , , , , | Right | July 24, 2023

It is a busy Friday night. An older couple is checking out, and the husband hands me a third-party coupon for a specific item that the store is actually doing a better deal on.

Me: “Sir, just so you know, we’re actually offering this item as ‘buy one, get one free.’ If you use your coupon, it’ll cancel out that deal and cost you more.”

Customer: “Stop trying to cheat me out of my money and apply the coupon!”

Me: “I’m not, sir; I am trying to save you money. You can hold on to the coupon and use it next time as our in-store offer is only good until the weekend.”

Customer: “Are you deaf? I said to use my coupon! Don’t they train you to obey the customer?”

Me: “Apologies, sir. I will apply the coupon straight away.”

At this, the customer’s wife, who has been busy loading their items onto the belt, speaks up.

Customer’s Wife: *To me* “We’ll take the deal, dear. Don’t worry about trying to explain it to my husband; you’ll just be holding all these other nice people up.”

Customer: “But the coupon—”

Customer’s Wife: *To her husband* “I’ll explain it when we get home, darling.” *To me* “It’s going to be a long weekend.”

Related:
The Couponator 40: Armageddon
The Couponator 39: The Yarn Of Time
The Couponator 38: The Sandwich Of Frustration
The Couponator 37: The Year Of Reckoning
The Couponator 36: The Counter-Coupon Cashier

Take A Look Inside; It’s My Chick In A Box

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Low_Sherbert_8373 | July 21, 2023

This is a retail moment I’ve encountered that made me happy.

I was at the register, and I kept hearing a chirping noise. I didn’t think much of it and suspected it was somebody’s ringtone going off; it would not have been the first time someone’s phone rang while in line. I continued on and called over the next customers: a man and a woman.

As they got closer, the chirping noise gets louder.

Me: *Conversationally* “What is that chirping noise?”

Customers: “Oh, that’s our baby chicks. We just got them today, and we couldn’t keep them outside because it’s too hot out. Do you want to see them?”

I obviously said yes, because why would I not want to see some baby chicks? Then, they presented me with a box with airholes in it, containing six or seven baby chicks, all different colors. The pure joy I felt when seeing those baby chicks was indescribable.