A Double Dose Of TMI

, , , , , | Working | January 28, 2020

(I am paying for my items when this exchange occurs:)

Me: *to the cashier* “Hello, how are you today?”

Cashier: “I‘m a bit tired. I‘m working a double-shift today.”

Me: “Oh, well, you should treat yourself to a coffee. It might wake you up a bit.”

Cashier: “No, coffee makes me poop.”

Me: “Oh… well, I guess you could get a tea?”

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Discovered The Code That Shuts Them Up

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2020

(It’s my last day at a retail job in a women’s clothing store chain. The customer in front of me has always been unpleasant to his wife and the staff. The store credit card is in his name, not his wife’s, and he always shops with her to tell her what she can and cannot buy. He also comes into the store once a month to pay the credit card bill. Every single time, he complains about the chip reader not working yet.)

Me: “Are you paying cash, check, or debit?”

Customer: “I always pay by card.”

Me: “Please swipe your debit card now.”

(The customer removes the sign advising that the chip reader is not functional and inserts his card into the non-working chip reader.)

Customer: “The chip reader isn’t working. Why isn’t the chip reader working?”

Me: “The system isn’t updated yet. Please swipe your card, instead.”

Customer: *now really angry* “Why the h*** isn’t the chip reader working yet? What the h*** is taking so long?”

Me: “Sir, do you think that if I had the ability to write the code that would allow the point of sale system in this store read your chip in that machine that I would be standing here taking your payment?”

Customer: *suddenly subdued* “No.”

Me: “Then are you going to pay or not?”

(The customer mutely removes his card from the chip reader and swipes it. He doesn’t say a word the rest of his transaction.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt for the payment. Have a nice evening.”

(The store assistant manager has been standing next to me the whole time. I look at her and ask if I’m fired.)

Assistant Manager: “H*** no. Today you get an extra employee discount. I’ve wanted to tell that jerk off for over a year.”

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Lady Pushy-Pineapple

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2020

(I am serving in the fast lane, which is for six items or less. It’s fairly busy but we’re going through the queue pretty quickly. People wait no more than two minutes in line at absolute worst. A woman storms up beside me, through the checkout exits.)

Pushy Lady: “I want to buy this pineapple.”

Me: *continuing to serve my current customer* “Of course, ma’am, just hop in line and we’ll get to you shortly.”

Pushy Lady: “No! Here’s the money; I just want it now!” *tries to thrust a note at me, despite my hands being busy with another customer’s items*

Me: *startled* “I… beg your pardon, ma’am. I don’t know how much the pineapple is. I’d have to ring it up; otherwise, I’d get in trouble.” *gives the gentleman I’m serving his total*

Pushy Lady: “I don’t want to wait!” *storms off*

Gentleman: “I was about to offer to pay for it, but…” 

(We shrugged at each other and he paid and left. I continued serving the line. A few minutes later, I saw the pushy woman being served at one of the other tills… by a supervisor. She looked like she was complaining but I never heard anything about it. Guess the supervisor didn’t agree that she could just skip the line because she didn’t want to wait.)

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Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 13

, , , , , | Right | January 28, 2020

(We have two functioning tills, but we only open the second one when it gets busy and we have enough people. Currently, we have one till open. A man goes up to the second till.)

Coworker #1: “Excuse me, that till is closed. Can I get you to come over here so we can serve you?”

Customer: “No. I want to be served here.”

Coworker #1: “I see, but seeing as that till is closed, you won’t be. Please come over here.”

Customer: “No. You will serve me here.”

(My coworker shrugs and goes back to other customers, while the man just crosses his arms and stands at the till. A second coworker shows up two minutes later for his shift and notices the man.)

Coworker #2: “Sorry, seems like that till is closed. Can you please move over to the line by the other till?”

Customer: “No! I want two mulled wines, here!”

Coworker #2: “I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to go over to the line to be served.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t just serve me here.”

Coworker #2: “We’ll serve you over at the other till.”

Customer: “I’ll wait here.”

([Coworker #2] also just shrugs and goes to work. I’m standing awkwardly in the middle, minding the baked goods and the oven, listening to the man huff and puff. I notice people start to queue behind him.)

Me: *directed to the people behind him* “Sorry, can you please move to the line by the other till, where we’re serving people?”

(The other people very politely move, while the man dramatically throws out his arms.)

Customer: “I want to be served here! Why is that so hard?!”

(In the end, he stood there for twenty minutes before he got the hint and left. We still talk about him at work.)

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 12
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 11
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 10

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Their Bad Behavior Goes The Extra Smile  

, , , | Right | January 27, 2020

Customer: “Where’s that accent from? Canada?”

(I actually moved to the UK from the US four years ago, but by now I’m tired of this question, so I pass it off with a bland half-smile.)

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Well, you know what we do here in the UK? We f****** smile!”

Me: *flabbergasted* “What?”

Customer: “We f****** smile!” *snatches his receipt from my hand and storms toward the door, wife and small child trailing wordlessly behind him*

Customer #2: *coming up behind him, baffled* “Did that man just swear at you?”

Me: *dead inside* “Yep.”

Customer: *from just outside the automatic doors* “YES, I DID!”

(If a cashier who doesn’t smile is enough to send this guy off the deep end, what does he do when a real problem happens?)

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