Comic: To Be, Or Not To Jolibee

, , , | Quezon City | Right | July 7, 2014

not always right jollibee

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Self Checkout Is Soul Destroying

, , , | Right | January 13, 2014

(I am working the control center for the self checkouts when I overhear a customer having a conversation with the self checkout machine.)

Self Checkout: “Are you using your own bags?”

Customer: “NO. I’M USING THE SOULS OF SMALL CHILDREN. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!”

Self Checkout: “Please place the item in the bagging area.”

 

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Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists: The Comic

, , , , , | USA | Right | September 23, 2013

Grandma Won’t Be Outmatched

, , , , , | Right | August 31, 2012

(I’m a customer and am standing in line at the checkout behind a very sweet-looking little old lady. She’s a stereotypical, blue-haired, tiny woman dressed in a very nice yellow and pink pantsuit. The cashier is a nice-looking young man in his late teens or early twenties.)

Little Old Lady: *to the cashier* “You know, you’re a very handsome young man, and you can hold down a job. That’s a good thing.”

Cashier: “Thank you, ma’am.”

(The lady then proceeds to chat in a very friendly manner to the cashier. While talking, she’s very slowly and carefully placing one item at a time on the conveyor.)

Little Old Lady: “So, I think my granddaughter would be perfect for you. She’s just turned nineteen, she has a nice job of her own, and she’s pretty. You boys like redheads, right?”

Cashier: *dazed look*

Little Old Lady: “You really should meet her. I just know you two would be perfect for each other! I know these things!”

Cashier: “Um, ma’am—”

Little Old Lady: “So, what do you say? Would you like to meet my Linda?”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I’m gay.”

(At this, the sweet-faced little old lady just blinks and smiles.)

Little Old Lady: “Okay, so you need to meet my grandson instead!”

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Lt. Ripley Goes Shopping

, , , , , , | Right | October 28, 2010

Customer: “Do you have any wasp spray?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re currently out. Maybe [Other Store] has it.”

(The customer thanks me and walks away. Thirty minutes later I see him at the checkout with a Super Soaker, some lighters, and a one liter bottle of lighter fluid. I just stare at him in disbelief.)

Customer: “Wish me luck!”

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