The Holiday Spirit Is Closed

, , , , , , | Right | December 27, 2018

(I work at a dollar store that works with a military charity during certain times of the year. This time it is for a Christmas collection.)

Me: *after ringing last item* “Would you like to purchase a toy to help military families, through [Charity]?”

Customer: “No! If those women couldn’t afford to have kids, they should have kept their legs closed!”

Me: “…”

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The North Pole Is Bitingly Cold

, , , , , | Right | December 26, 2018

(During the Christmas season I am a seasonal associate at a department store as my first job. An older woman comes up with some Christmas decorations, including a flat-bottomed Santa designed to be put on mantles.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for shopping at [Store]. Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “I did! Thank you. This Santa is on sale.”

Me: “That’s great! We do have some great deals going on.”

(She leans down to the Santa before handing it over.)

Customer: “If you don’t ring up at the right price, bite her.”

Me: “…?!”

(Luckily, the Santa rang up at the right price.)

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It’s The Most Wonderful Time To Jeer

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2018

(It’s Christmas Eve and the supermarket where I’m shopping is packed. I’ve done my best to get around and not lose my temper and have managed to get almost everything I need. I line up at the checkout, not necessarily at the shortest queue but the easiest to get to, given how packed it is. Shortly, a lady lines up behind me. At this point, I am sick of people, the queue, Christmas, and everything. I hate stupid questions. Sarcasm mode kicks in.)

Lady: “What are we lining up for? I just want to get out!”

Me: “We’re lining up for a really exciting roller coaster!”

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The People In Line Are Not Your Ally

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2018

(It’s Christmas Eve and my day off. I decide to go up to the town for a few bits and pieces, and call into the store where I normally work. I pick up what I need and go to the till of my friendly and cheerful colleagues. Another woman is just being served as I approach the till; she looks miserable and annoyed.)

Colleague: “Hello there, madam! How are you? Do you need a hand with your packing?”

Customer: “Give me a bag.”

Colleague: “Of course. Do you want a small bag?”

Customer: “Whatever will fit this in.”

(My colleague looks over at her shopping and chooses a bag for her. While he’s sorting it out, the woman looks over at me with an exaggerated sigh and raises her eyebrows.)

Colleague: “There you are. Would you like a hand at all?”

Customer: “No. I can do it.”

(She packs her shopping, all the while throwing odd glares at my colleague while he’s not looking.)

Colleague: “That’ll be [total], please, my dear!”

(He takes the money and, as per our store policy, checks the £10 note with a UV light.)

Customer: *in an undertone to me* “What’s he doing now?! Ridiculous!”

Colleague: “Here’s [total] change. Thank you very much, and we’ll see you again soon!”

(She takes the change. He’s preoccupied with sorting out something on his till, so he doesn’t see her look towards me and mouth, “No, you won’t!” She moves to the next vacant till to sort out her shopping, and my colleague notices I’m next in line. As usual, he gives me a big greeting and scans through my shopping.)

Colleague: “Thank you very much! Do you have your staff discount?”

(I took my staff card out of my pocket, and as my colleague put in my number to give me my discount I just caught a glimpse of the woman who had been quietly slating my colleague to me; she looked like she had been slapped in the face!)

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It’s The Most Wonderful Time To Quit

, , , , | Right | December 23, 2018

(A few days before Christmas, I’m put on the register at the start of my shift. Several coworkers have called out, claiming that either they or their children are sick, so my manager and I are the only ones available to work registers. Because of the holiday rush, the line quickly builds across the entire store.)

Customer: “We waited in line for 45 minutes! Can’t you open up more registers? You have at least nine of them!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but six of my coworkers called out today. My manager and I are pretty much the only ones here.”

Customer: *snootily* “Well, you should have hired more people.”

(Thanks for the hindsight. If it matters, both the manager and I quit within the month.)

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