Don’t Discount The Customers’ Hope You Won’t Count

, , , , , , | Right | October 30, 2019

We have a certain customer that always tries to use four or more duplicates of the coupons that say, “limit of two per household per day.” Usually, I somehow end up dealing with her, and she leaves half — or all — her stuff behind because I deny half of her coupons. 

Tonight, she shows up and goes to one of my new cashiers that I’ve not had the “read your coupons” talk with. I decide to hang around, just in case. Lo and behold, the lady tries to pull her usual coupon fraud. I count and she’s instantly on me, saying, “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COUNT THEM? THE OTHER MANAGERS ALWAYS LET ME USE FOUR. YOU NEED TO BE NICER TO YOUR CUSTOMERS!”

She and who I’m assuming is her mom then switch over to Spanish so that I can’t understand them. After they’ve left — in a huff — I explain to my cashier the policy on coupons. She then tells me that when the lady switched to Spanish, she said I wouldn’t take her coupons because I was white. 

Not sure what that has to do with your inability to properly use coupons, but you have fun coming back to see another manager only to find me still staring down upon you and your coupons like the eye of Sauron.

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Bounces Off Of Her Like Rubber(s)

, , , , | Right | October 29, 2019

(I have just served an old lady who is now bagging her items. A teenager — about 16 to 19 years old — is next. The teenager is just buying a package of condoms. I scan them and put them beside the belt, far from the old lady’s groceries. The teenager is paying with his card and is about to finish the transaction. The old lady sees the lone packages of condoms beside the belt.)

Old Lady: “Are those mine?!”

(She grabs them.)

Old Lady: *shouting* “Did I pay for these? What is it?”

(She’s holding them high to get better light, in full view of everyone around.)

Old Lady: *loudly* “I can’t see. Can you tell me what this is?”

Me: “No. No, that item is not yours. It belongs to…” *looks at the distressed teenager* “…it belongs to someone else.”

Old Lady: “Oh, very well…”

(She put them down by the belt again. The teenager took them and left quickly. I still believe that the old lady did this on purpose.)

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The Classic Signatures Of A Crazy Customer

, , , , | Right | October 29, 2019

(Our credit card PIN pad, like most, asks the customer for their signature, either with the little stylus or with their finger. I’m ringing out a customer.)

Customer: “This is illegal, you know.”

Me: “What? What is?”

(Everything has been normal until now, so I am very confused.)

Customer: “This isn’t my signature since it’s not on paper. It’s electronic, so it’s not my signature. That’s illegal.”

Me: “I… don’t think so?”

Customer: “IT’S ILLEGAL!”

(She signs anyway and I give her the receipt, which she snatches. As she storms off:)

Customer: “I’m going to call the Better Business Bureau!” 

(When I mentioned it to my manager later he said I could have printed a paper one for her to sign, but I didn’t know that. I hope she did call the BBB so they could laugh at her.)

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Try Not To Get All Tore Up About It  

, , , , | Right | October 29, 2019

(A woman walks into my line and puts a big 18-pack of soda on my belt with a coupon attached that’s sometimes hard to remove.)

Me: “Hi. How are you?”

(She’s attempting to remove the coupon and she tears it.)

Me: *trying to make a joke* “That’s why y’all don’t normally take those things off. They’re so difficult.”

Customer: “Excuse me?! I’ll remove it if I want to! Don’t worry; I’ll go to another line!”

Me: “It was a joke…”

(She left and went to another register, and she got that cashier to get one of the managers. She loudly complains to them, pointing at me and such. My manager never brought it up to me.)

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Understands The Prints-iples Of Nothing

, , , , | Right | October 28, 2019

(An older customer approaches my register with a polo shirt. The store I work at requires us to ask for customers’ zip codes for marketing purposes.)

Me: “Can I have your zip code or postal code?”

Customer: “What? I just want to buy this.”

Me: *thinking he just didn’t hear me correctly* “Yes, I just need your zip code or postal code, sir.”

(He glances at my register as I gesture to it, looking utterly confused.)

Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t keep up with these things. When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

(He mumbles some other things I don’t really hear, including possibly something about Canada or Canadians. We do get a lot of Canadians in our store, so I guess maybe he’s Canadian and got confused by me saying zip code first, so I decide not to push the issue. I skip that screen and ring up his shirt, which comes out at $24.99.)

Customer: “Hey, hold up! That’s not right, how much did it cost?”

Me: “$24.99.”

(I double-check the ticket to make sure the sale price came up correctly. He’s shaking his head.)

Customer: “It’s supposed to be five dollars. You’re way off!”

(I’m confused now, but as we do have some shirts in clearance for that price, I assume it’s a computer error.)

Me: “Where did you get this shirt, sir?”

Customer: “Right over there! See, it says $5!”

(I can’t see where he’s pointing, so he heads over to the display. A woman in line behind him looks, then looks back at me with a weary expression.)

Customer #2: “It’s five dollars off.”

Me: *seeing the sign now* “Sir, it’s five dollars off; that’s not the final price.”

Customer: “Oh… all right. Well, forget the whole thing, then.”

(Since his transaction already went through, I start re-ringing it as a return.)

Customer: *laughing* “You didn’t charge me for it, did you?”

Me: “Yes, but I’ll just return it for you.”

(I finish and hand him the return slip.)

Me: “Okay, I just need you to print and sign on the first two lines.”

Customer: “What? Which line?”

Me: *pointing to the lines* “Just print on the first line and sign the second one, for the return.”

(He proceeds to sign the first line instead of printing.)

Customer: “I don’t understand. What’s this second line for?”

(I’m starting to think the guy isn’t all there, but I just smile and try to explain it again.)

Me: “That’s for your signature.”

Customer: *pointing to the first line* “That’s what this is!”

Me: “Yes, you were supposed to sign the second line. But it’s all right, just print your name there.”

Customer: “I don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”

(I have absolutely no idea how to explain to the man how to print his name, so I’m dumbfounded. He just shakes his head and signs his name a second time. Not wanting to prolong the experience any further, I don’t object.)

Me: *handing him his return receipt* “Thank you. Have a nice day!”

(I watched the man go, hoping the woman behind him was his wife and that she’d done the driving that morning!)

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