I Fold You So!

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2018

(It’s Saturday. My store has hundreds of people coming through. I can’t fold every piece of clothing, especially if there’s a line of customers at every register.)

Me: “How are you today? Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring up their items, sort of fold them, and place them in a bag.)

Customer: *scoffs* “That’s the one thing they don’t teach at [Store]: how to fold things.”

(She proceeded to fold each article of clothing while I stood there staring at her, receipt in hand. The next customer had already put their items on the counter.)

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Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 11

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2018

(It is the rush before New Year. I have just started my shift, sitting on a crate behind the bustling registers. I begin to fold some PJs back into their packages that have been pulled apart over Christmas. A customer comes out of the queue for the registers, items in hand, and speaks directly to me with a stern look.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: *brightly looking up from my folding* “Yes? How can I help you? Do you have a question?”

Customer: “You can help me by putting this through; I want to buy this!” *shoving her items towards me*

 (I take a moment to look at the queue and back at this lady. I have two coworkers running our two registers at full pace, and I know full well that every other register in the store is much the same.)

Me: “Ah, unfortunately, as you can see, there are only two registers here. I have no way of ringing that up for you, unfortunately. You shall have to wait in line for my lovely coworkers to serve you.”

(Shocked and dismayed her cunning plan had failed, she huffed and returned to the back of the queue. I sat back down to fold, a little dumbfounded, as I obviously didn’t have a register, and this was well before the times when we could ring through customers on a tablet. Did she think we had a secret register out the back or one I could pull out of my a**, but chose not to so that those queues could go on forever?)

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 10
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 9
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 8

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Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 5

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2018

(I work in a well-known retail store that does not offer free plastic bags; however, there are large reusable bags available for purchase for less than $1. It is the Christmas season and there is a long line of customers. I am at the register ringing up a woman who has multiple bags that she brought with her hanging off of her arm. After ringing up her purchases, she becomes angry that my store doesn’t supply free bags.)

Customer: “Why don’t you have free bags? How do you expect me to carry all of this out?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t offer free bags. I’d be happy to place your items in any of the bags you brought with you. Also, our store does have reusable bags for under $1. A single bag would fit all of your purchases easily.”

(I show her one of our bags.)

Customer: “No! Those bags are ugly! Just give me a regular bag!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but these are the only bags we have.”

Customer: “So, you expect me to buy a bag from you?”

Me: *trying to keep my smile* “No, ma’am, you don’t have to purchase a bag. I can put your items in any of the bags you have with you, if you’d like.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I don’t want you to put them in my bags. I want you to put them in one of your regular bags!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the bag I showed you is all that we have.”

(This roundabout argument continues. I’m anxious to get my line moving and to end the circular conversation with this customer. For less than $1, I’ll buy her a bag myself to achieve this.)

Me: *still smiling* “Since it’s so close to the holidays, I’ll give you one of our bags for free! This way you won’t have to purchase it, and you’ll have a bag to use the next time you return.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want an ugly bag! I want one of your regular, free bags!” *as she marches out of the store, she yells back* “I’d rather remain disappointed!”

Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 4
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 3
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 2

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Your Friendly Local Tobacconist

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2018

(I am working on the service desk. We normally don’t have this particular register open, but when it’s really busy, somebody stays around there to serve customers only wanting to buy cigarettes. I have just served several customers from a long line of people when this happens.)

Customer: “Do you sell cigarettes here?”

Me: “Yes, we do. We sell have all the major brands.”

Customer: “Oh, all right. I wasn’t sure if the people in front of me were your friends or something and you were showing them what you smoke.”

(The customer turned and left without buying anything. I still have no idea how to process this.)

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You Have Been Outmatched

, , , , | Right | December 30, 2018

(A coworker is ringing up a customer who is on her phone the entire time. She doesn’t look up or acknowledge the cashier once during the entire transaction. The transaction is complete, so the customer walks away, still talking on her phone. The cashier watches as the woman finishes up her phone call, then looks down at her receipt. The customer storms back up to the register.)

Customer: “You didn’t price match any of my items!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know if you want to price match unless you tell me.”

Customer: “Oh…”

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