Not What We Mean By Putting A Smile On Your Face

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2018

(I am working as a cashier on a busy Wednesday. We are not usually crowded during the week, so we only have three cashiers working at the time. I then get a lady who has waited in the other two lines, then came to my register.)

Me: “Hello, miss, find everything okay?”

Angry Customer: “No, and I’ve been waiting forever. You should have more people working!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that.”

(I don’t say anything the rest of the time, because I feel awkward.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt; have a nice day.”

Angry Customer: “You know, it’s helpful if you smile!”

Me: *awkwardly smiles*

Angry Customer: “That’s not a smile; that’s a smirk!”

Me: *speechless*

If You’re Screwed You Win

, , , , , , , , | Working | January 3, 2018

(I am walking past the checkouts and see a few workers pointing at random customers. One points at me. I decide to investigate.)

Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t help noticing… What are you talking about?”

Coworker #1: *nervous* “Umm, we were just playing a game.”

Coworker #2: “F***, marry, kill?”

Me: “Oh, I know that.” *walks away* “Wait… Which one was I?”

Coworker #2: “Umm, f***.”

Me: “Oh!”

Coworker #2: “But I would have to get really drunk beforehand… but only because I’m gay. Not because you aren’t attractive, or anything.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Coworker #2: “I think I’ll just go over there and kill myself now.”

Me: “Oh, well. Nice knowing you!”

(As I walked away I heard them grilling him on why he told me. Despite it being highly inappropriate, I found it quite funny. I also was the one who asked, so I didn’t really have a right to be offended, anyway.)

It’s Always A Problem Area

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2018

(This happens about once per week. We have a store discount that customers can activate by entering a phone number into the card reader while their purchase is being rung up. The machine’s screen clearly reads, “ENTER PHONE NUMBER ###-###-####,” right above the keyboard. I’m serving an older woman at my register and see her enter a couple numbers into the machine. It then loudly beeps, letting me know that something went wrong.)

Customer: “Did it go through?”

Me: “Sorry, but it looks like you forgot to put your area code in first. You can try it again, now.”

(She again enters only seven digits, rather than the full phone number of ten digits, and the machine again beeps.)

Me: “Ma’am, please make sure that you’re entering your full phone number in. The area code needs to go first.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

(I watch her and see that, this time, she enters her zip code into the machine instead. It again beeps when she tries to submit it.)

Customer: “So, did it go through now?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; it looks like you tried to enter your zip code. What you need to type in is your phone number. Just make sure that you add the area code first.”

Customer: “The area code?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, enter the area code, and then the rest of your phone number. If you live around here, the area code is [area code], so just type that in first.”

(She again enters in her zip code.)

Me: “No, I’m sorry; the machine needs your phone number.”

Customer: “But you said area code!”

(This goes back and forth even longer. I’m unfortunately not allowed to enter a customer’s information into the system for them, or skip past this step unless they explicitly ask me to, so I have to try walking her through the process. We’re stuck in this loop until the customer finally gives up and allows me to skip past the discount option. As she’s leaving, the customer loudly mutters:)

Customer: “Ugh, this is why I don’t bother with computers. They never work right.”

Not Going To Change Their Story About Change

, , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

(My coworker and I are both managers in a grocery store. My coworker is working the till while I am doing other tasks. As more customers show up, I also start cashiering to reduce the line. I start ringing out a regular.)

Me: “Your total is 8,46€”

Regular: *handing me a 10€ bill*

Me: “Thank you. Here’s your 1,54€ back. Have a nice day.” *puts money in drawer and closes it*

Regular: “And my 40€?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Regular: “Where are the other 40€? I gave you a 50€ bill.”

Me: “Eh… No, you paid with a 10€ bill.”

Regular: *looking inside his wallet* “No, that can’t be. I gave you a 50€ bill.”

Me: “Then, I have to count my drawer, but first I have to ring out the others in line.”

Regular: “Okay.”

(I quickly ring out the three other customers in line. I then take out my drawer and give it to my coworker to count; I don’t want to be accused of pocketing the money while counting in the back office. While my coworker is checking my drawer, I jump onto his till while the regular waits, staring at me. After about five minutes my coworker returns.)

Coworker: “The change in the drawer is only three cents off.” *gives me the record while switching places with me*

Regular: “That can’t be.”

Me: *showing the regular the record* “You can see that I only have three cents more than I should have in my till. You paid with a 10€ bill.”

Regular: *getting angry* “No, I was at the doctor this morning. He didn’t have change for a 50€ bill so I paid with my last 10€ bill.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you paid with 10€. My drawer’s correct, so there’s nothing I can do.”

Regular: “Then, I will talk to [Chain]’s head office and sue you.”

Me: “You do that. My name is [My Name]. I have to do other things now.” *leaves*

(Later that day I talk to my coworker about it.)

Coworker: “How thick can someone be?! Like we both would change the result just to get 40€.”

Me: “Yeah… and want to know what’s the best part? When he looked inside his wallet I saw another 10€ bill.”

And Have A Happy Friday Eve!

, , , , , | Right | December 26, 2017

(It’s my second Christmas working retail, and my first working behind the tills. While I’m not in any way religious, I still celebrate Christmas and other Christian holidays as a time to spend with family, have nice food, and sometimes exchange presents. A regular customer, a woman wearing a chador, comes up to the till. I’m wearing a Santa hat.)

Customer: *gestures to my hat* “You doing anything nice for Christmas?”

Me: “Oh, just the standard family and food. Are you doing anything nice this week?”

Customer: “No, not really, though you’d be surprised how many people ask what I’m doing for Christmas.”

Me: “Really? You’d think it would be a bit obvious.”

Customer: “You’d think. Have a nice Christmas!”

Me: “Have a nice Friday!”

(She was one of the only customers who asked me about my plans for Christmas, which meant a lot to me as she wasn’t normally very talkative. When I saw her after Christmas, I asked her how her Friday was, and she asked me how Christmas went and we had a laugh about it. We had pretty much the same conversation again at Easter. Apparently I was the only person who didn’t ask her, a kind-of-obvious Muslim, what she was doing on Christian holidays, and it meant a lot to her!)

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