Has Minimum Understanding

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(Two customers have been shopping together and sharing a basket, but they’re purchasing their items separately.)

Me: “Okay, this is going to be $3.49.”

([Customer #1] goes to hand me her credit card.)

Me: “Oh, I’m afraid we have a $5.00 card minimum.”

([Customer #1] looks at [Customer #2] with a deer-in-the-headlights face.)

Customer #2: *to [Customer #1]* “Oh, it’s fine; she’ll put your card through, anyway.”

(I start to shake my head and open my mouth to say no, I won’t waive the minimum, but [Customer #1] adds a piece of candy to her order.)

Customer #1: “What am I at now?”

Me: “$4.25. You could grab a $.99 drink, or another pack of gum?”

Customer #2: “Wait, you’re going to make her get to exactly $5.00?”

Me: “Well, we can make an exception starting at $4.95, but yes, it’s a $5.00 minimum.”

([Customer #1] adds another pack of gum and is able to pay with her card. Meanwhile [Customer #2] is staring at me with the most confused, grumpy look on his face.)

Customer #2: “Here, I have cash!”

Me: “Awesome, your total is $3.00.”

Customer #2: “So, you really wouldn’t just put that on my card?”

Me: “No, we have a $5.00 card minimum.”

(Amazingly, the cashier isn’t allowed to change the rules of the store! He honestly couldn’t comprehend that a card minimum means you need to spend that much to use your card.)

Never Underestimate Their Inability To Demand A Discount

, , , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(I work as a cashier at my local grocery store. My supervisor is an older man, who tends to be kind of a pushover in regards to customers, which is why this incident surprises me. I am scanning a woman’s groceries.)

Me: “Hello, did you manage to find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a 20% discount.”

Me: *a bit confused, as I don’t know of any coupon or deal we have to give 20% off an entire purchase* “Okay. Well, if you could just show me the coupon for that, I’ll get it scanned in.”

Customer: *says nothing, just stares at me*

Me: *after a few moments* “Um, ma’am? I’m going to need the coupon to process any discounts.”

Customer: *speaking very slowly* “I. Have. A. 20%. Discount.”

Me: “I understand, but I need something to scan in to process that discount.”

Customer: *stares at me, saying nothing*

(After a couple more attempts to get her to show me whatever is giving her this discount, my supervisor comes over to see what the hold-up is with my line. I explain things, while the woman just keeps staring silently at us.)

Supervisor: “All righty. So, as my cashier said, we need to see proof of the discount.”

Customer: *lets out an angry snort, but otherwise, still says nothing*

Supervisor: *after a brief staring contest with the woman, shakes his head* “Right, then.”

(He reaches over and types in the register to void out the purchase, pulling the bags around behind the counter.)

Supervisor: “Next!”

Customer: *starts screaming* “What are you doing?! I’m not finished!”

Supervisor: “Yeah, you are, as you just stood there like a statue. Now, you can either take your things and go to the back of the line to try this again, or you can get the h*** out of my store. Either way, you aren’t getting any discounts today.”

(After a brief angry glare, while I started scanning the next customer’s things, the woman turned and stomped out, making deliberately big stomps as she did.)

Not Billed To Be The Next Great Conman

, , , , | Legal | July 18, 2018

(I am working the cash register when an unknown customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hello. I have lots of 10€ notes I’d like to exchange for bigger notes.”

Me: “Sure. We are actually low on 10€ notes today, so that is great! How many did you have?”

(The customer then proceeds to pull a big stack of 10s out of his pocket.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. We don’t actually keep that many big bills in the till. Looks like most I can do for you today is 250€.”

Customer: “Okay, fine.”

(I don’t hand him the money yet. I decide it’s best to keep it safely in the till until I’ve checked his notes. Then he starts to count 25 bills from the stack really fast. After he hands me the bills, I check and count them, and notice he actually gave me 24 bills. When I tell him this, he takes the 24 bills back and starts counting them again, lightning fast.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry, looks like you’re right. Here’s one more.”

(He hands me back the stack of bills, plus one more from his pocket. I’m beyond suspicious at this point, so I start counting them again.)

Customer: *slightly panicked* “No, no, you don’t have to do that. You just counted them already!”

Me: “Errm, I’m kind of glad I did. Instead of 24 or 25 bills, there’s 16 now…”

(At this, he snatched the stack of 10s from my hands and ran out of the store. I closed my lane and went to tell the manager. My manager and a few department supervisors checked the surveillance footage of the camera pointed at my till after that. They actually had to play it at a three-times lower speed before they could see at what point he had taken part of the stack and hidden it up his sleeve. Turned out he had done this at lots of other supermarkets in the area, too, and had succeeded most of the time! They gave me a gift card for not falling for it!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I work in a single-location clothing boutique, and the credit card chip reading machines aren’t always up and running for smaller businesses. Because of this, we check ID on every credit transaction, no matter the amount.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is [total].”

Customer: *hands me an unsigned card*

Me: “And would you happen to have your ID on you?”

Customer: *side eyes me, but pulls it out* “W… Why do you need my ID?”

Me: “It’s just our policy, especially if the card is unsigned!”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: *trying to make a joke* “I’m just making sure you’re spending your own money!”

Customer: “But… but I’ve had this card since 1986. Why wouldn’t it be my money? You’re supposed to sign your card?”

Me: “Oh, that’s what the little box on the back is for! At any rate, we’d just rather check ID, to make sure you and we are protected.”

Customer: “But it’s my money.”

(She then wandered away, totally confused about how someone who wasn’t her could be using her credit card. Poor lady.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76

It’s Soda(mn) Cheap

, , , , | Working | July 17, 2018

(It’s early morning and I am shopping. The store has been open for maybe half an hour and there are almost no customers. The cashier has just made small talk with the customer in front of me. I can easily tell she’s unhappy since her work hours have been cut short lately. I am buying three items. She scans a bottle of oil, then attempts to scan a soda; the way the sticker is on, however, the register refuses to take it. She types it in by hand.)

Cashier: “1.74€… That’s wrong. Give me a second.”

(I watch as she voids the soda again, then presses the button for price reduction, types the 1.04€ in and tries to scan the soda. When it refuses she just huffs and sets it aside, saying she’ll do that once my third item is through. That item scans, automatically reduced to 1.04€ because she forgot to take the reduction out.)

Me: “Oh, now it rang that up as the other price.”

Cashier: “Hmm, let me see.”

(She finishes the transaction like that, I pay via card, fully aware of what has happened, and still perfectly okay that I will have to pay full price. She takes the receipt, looks it over, and sighs, hands it to me, and nudges my items over.)

Cashier: “You know what? I didn’t see a thing. I’m so done. I don’t care anymore, and the manager always grumbles about how we need to cash people faster, so I will just adhere to that. You really got an awesome deal.”

(I thanked her profusely, told her I could fully understand, since I heard her previous chat, and that she was doing a good job. You’re awesome, lady! And I hope you didn’t get in trouble for that.)

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