Insert True Feelings About Bad Customers Here

, , , , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I’ve just finished ringing up a sale. The customer is paying by card. Credit cards need to be inserted into a slot, while savings cards need to be swiped; every shop is the same. I’ve had another customer trying to butt in and am trying to finish the transaction even though they are trying to distract me.)

Me: “Could you please swipe your card?”

Customer: *swipes his card, the machine states it needs to be inserted* “It’s telling me to insert it.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. Just insert it, please. I didn’t notice that it was a credit card.”


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Reaching Into The Pocket Was Such An Effort

, , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I work at a grocery store, and I am at the checkout when two young adults come through my line with a big bottle of alcohol that they want to purchase. At my store, if we sell alcohol to minors, we are at a great risk of getting fired immediately.)

Me: *scans the bottle of alcohol* “All right, and may I see your ID?”

Customer: *gives me a blank stare* “Uh… I don’t have it with me. Do you think you would be able to let this one slide?”

Me: “Um, no, sir, I need to see your ID in order to sell you this alcohol.”

(The customer sighed and proceeded to pull out his ID and the money to pay for his alcohol. It turned out he was one year over the legal age limit, anyway.)

Actually Believes That “It Must Be Free”

, , , , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(I work in a department store’s shoe department. We have a display pair of shoes out on the sales floors for customers to see and we have the boxes for the shoes stored in our stockroom. On this day we have received a shipment of a couple dozen new styles of boots for the fall that I, since I am the only one scheduled on this busy day in the department, have not made displays for yet.)

Me: *notices a woman looking at some of the boots with an unhappy expression and goes up to her* “Hello, ma’am. Are you finding everything you are looking for today, or do you need any help?”

Customer: “Yes. I am looking for a tall, black leather boot that is on the plain side and I’d prefer it to be more dressy. I will be wearing it with leggings so I want it to be more form-fitted to my legs, but I can’t seem to find one like that here or anywhere!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, we did get a shipment of new styles in this morning. Due to us being on the busy side I haven’t had a chance to put them on display yet, but I think they would be exactly what you are looking for. Would you like me to bring them out for you?”

(She nods and tells me the size. I go, pull them from the stock room, and show them to her.)

Customer: “Oh, my God! Those look like exactly what I want!”

(The rest of the interaction goes on with her trying on the shoes and talking about how perfect they would be with all her outfits. It goes very smoothly up until I go to check her out.)

Me: “So these boots are currently on sale for $79.99. I know the price is up there but [Coupon A] would take off 20%, [Coupon B] would take off 30%, and [Coupon C], if you add your $20 top you have in your cart, will take $50 off your entire purchase.”

Customer: *suddenly very agitated* “These boots shouldn’t be coming up for 80 bucks! They should be free!”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean they should be free?”

Customer: *rolling her eyes, with a mocking tone* “They don’t have a display with the price or tickets on them! They are not marked any price. That means they should be free!”

Me: “No, they do not have the price or ticket marking the price. But the ticket does not determine the price of the boots. Our system does, using the barcode on the box.” *points to the barcode with UPC on box* “That is why they are coming up about $80.”

(The customer snatches the box of boots and holds them to her body, gives me a death glare, and starts shouting.)

Customer: “I don’t care what your machine says! They should be free because they aren’t marked the price! Either you give them to me for free or I’m leaving!”

Me: *snatching the box back* “Well, I hope you have a great rest of the day, then!”

(I turned to return the boots to my stockroom. The woman just stood there in stunned silence with her mouth open. After a second she huffed and stomped away, never to be seen in shoes again.)

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 5

, , , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(I am working at a national chain office supply store. There is a rewards card that gives points for each purchase, which earns special coupons, gift cards, etc. that are sent to the customer’s account. In order to use the rewards, customers have to either print the email or show it on their phone. Customers can look up their accounts on the website and they get email notifications when rewards are sent. It is against company policy for employees to access rewards accounts for customers. A customer is at the checkout, about to pay for furniture she is buying.)

Me: “…and your total is [amount].”

Customer: “Oh, no, I have my rewards card.”

(She hands me her card, and I scan it to apply the points to her account, then hand it back to her. She just stands there for a bit, so I repeat:)

Me: “Your total is [same amount].”

Customer: “What? I gave you my rewards card. Why didn’t the discount apply?”

Me: “Oh, sorry for the confusion. It’s not a discount card. When I scan it, the points from this purchase go to your account.”

Customer: “I know, but I think I have rewards to use.”

Me: “Do you have them with you?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “NO! You SCANNED the CARD!”

Me: “Right, but the computer doesn’t read what rewards you have available. It just gives you the points from this transaction. If you got an email saying you have rewards to use, you can print it off, or show it on your phone if you have a smartphone.”

Customer: “No, thanks. You can just look it up for me.”

Me: “I’m not authorized to access your account.”

Customer: *smiling like it has suddenly become clear* “OHHH, okay! I authorize you.”

Me: “I mean I’m not allowed to because corporate says so; I could lose my job. And even if I was allowed, this computer isn’t able to do that.”

(It’s a computer that is only connected to the store’s internal network, not the Internet, and it is basically a cash register.)

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just go to [Competitor]!”

(A coworker and I had taken the furniture, which was very heavy, off of a high shelf from the back room and carried it up to the register at this customer’s request, so after she stormed out without buying it, we had to put it back.)

Loony Over A Toonie, Part 6

, , , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(I live in Canada. I have just finished ringing in a customer and am returning her change. Among the coins is a “toonie,” a Canadian $2 coin.)

Me: “There you go, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

Customer: *holding up toonie* “Um, what is this?”

Me: “That’s a two dollar coin, ma’am.”

Customer: “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

Me: “Well, it’s legal tender in all of Canada. So, er, buy stuff with it?”

(The customer is now visibly agitated.)

Customer: “Well, I’m leaving tomorrow!”

Me: *becomes forcefully polite* “Oh, how are you getting home? By airplane?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, then, you can buy yourself a coffee at the airport! Have a nice day!”

(We frequently get customers who are confused by Canadian currency. They either demand to be given American change, or assume the currency is actually some sort of token that’s only valid on the boardwalk.)

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 5
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 4
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

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