Listen And Learn

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2019

(Where I work, we have to ask the customer a few questions while at the register. It’s annoying for everyone involved but doesn’t take long as everything is asked while ringing and is just part of the job. Right now, we have a promo going on where if a customer spends $20, they get a reward card for $20 off a $50 purchase later in the month. I am on register one day and I have this exchange when a man and woman come up.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

Male Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Female Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “Was anyone assisting you today?”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t want any, thanks.”

Me: *confused*

Female Customer: *rolling her eyes at him* “Yes, [Coworker] helped us.”

Me: “Oh, good. Anyway, you get this $20 reward today for—”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t want it.”

Me: “I… No, I mean… You get this reward today just for shopping with us.”

Male Customer: “And what do I have to do for it?”

Me: “Spend at least $20, which you did. So, you get a reward.”

Male Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “Your total is [total]. Are you using your [store credit card] today?”

Male Customer: “No, I said we don’t want it!”

Me: *confused because this is the first time I brought it up*

Female Customer:Yes, I have one and will be using it.” 

(She rolls her eyes and shoves the man out of the way so she can swipe her card.)

Female Customer: *to the male customer* “How about you shut your mouth for once and actually listen to what people are saying?”

(This made my heart so happy because it’s exactly what I was thinking. I thanked her and told her to have a nice day, completely ignoring the sulking man as they left. He wasn’t the first person to do this that day, and certainly wasn’t the last, but that woman made my day!)

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Feminine Hygiene Meets Masculine Toxicity

, , , , , | Working | November 8, 2019

(I am driving home from work when my wife calls me, tells me we are out of feminine products, and asks for me to get some for her. I am almost home and there aren’t that many options, but I see that a store I haven’t been to before is right up ahead, and in a convenient location. I enter the store and find the products, as well as a few other things we need, then go to the checkout. The cashier is an older gentleman, and he seems rather nice as he rings up my items. That is, until he gets to the feminine products at the back. Note that I’m relatively young and look younger.)

Cashier: “I can’t sell you these.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “You’re male. I can’t sell these to you; you might be trying to steal something.”

Me: “Okay, first of all, how would that even work? Second of all, these—”

Cashier: “I don’t know. For all I know, you’re trying to steal something. Besides, why would you even want these?”

Me: “They’re not—”

Cashier: “Unless you’re one of them [transphobic slur]s.” *squints at me suspiciously*

Me: “No, I’m just—”

Cashier: “Then why do you need them?”

Me: “Because—”

Cashier: “No. You don’t need them. Now put them back.”

Me: “THEY’RE NOT FOR ME! They’re for my wife!”

Cashier: *grunts* “Well, why didn’t you say that?”

(He begrudgingly rang me up, then proceeded to take as long as possible to bag my things. I ended up getting home well after the time my wife was expecting me. I never went to that store again.)

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Grandma Won’t Let The Lube Slide

, , , , | Right | November 8, 2019

(I’m working the register at a drug store that’s part of a national chain. Our store is pretty well known for printing receipts that are as long as your arm, with coupons relating to many prior purchases, for our members. I’m checking out a young woman. She enters her phone number for the membership, then freezes.)

Customer: “Actually… could you take that off?”

Me: “I’m sorry? I haven’t started scanning yet. Which item do you want me to take off?”

Customer: “I can’t use that membership.”

Me: “Ma’am, it was a valid membership. You’re fine to use it.”

Customer: “No… No, please just take the membership off.”

Me: “Are you trying to cancel your membership? It doesn’t automatically renew, so if you’re not interested in continuing, you just need to wait until it expires on its own–“

Customer: *very red-faced* “This is a family account, okay? My grandmother’s on it. I can’t apply the membership.”

(I follow her gaze down to see that, among her items, she’s got several packs of condoms and a bottle of lubricant. The penny drops. Our algorithm being what it is, whoever comes in and uses her membership number will start getting coupons for those about a month later.)

Me: “I’ll just cancel the sale and we can start over, all right?”

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The More You Spend The Harder It Is To Change

, , , , , | Right | November 6, 2019

Me: “That’s £13.12, please.”

(The customer hands me £5. I wait for him to find the rest, but he just stares at me, nonplussed.)

Customer: “Well, there it is.”

Me: “It’s £13.12. I’ve only got £5 here.”

(The customer rummages in his pockets and fishes out three more £1 coins.)

Customer: “There. Is that enough now?”

Me: “That’s £8. I need £13.12.”

Customer: “You want more?!

(He finds another two £1 coins in his pocket, passes them to me, then stares at me, gone out again.)

Me: “You’ve only given me £10.”

Customer: “How much more do you want?!

Me: “I need another £3.12 to make it up to £13.12.”

(He finds me another three £1 coins.)

Customer:There! Is that enough now?!”

Me: “I just need another 12p.”

(He passes me 50p, then turns to go as I sort his change.)

Me: “Here’s your change and your receipt.”

Customer: “Oh, I get change, do I? After all that?”

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Taking A Penny, But Giving You His Two Cents

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2019

(A guy comes up to the registers with three small housewares items, totaling $1.75. The guy rummages in his pockets and clatters down $1.50 in quarters, two dimes… and FOUR pennies.)

Customer: “Well, looks like I’ve only got $1.74. You can take that, right?”

(He gives me a tiny smirk, automatically assuming that I can.)

Me: *apologetically* “No, sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

(His smirk dies.)

Customer: “Well, do you have one of those coin trays?”

(He’s looking for the give-a-penny, take-a-penny thing.)

Me: “No, sir. We don’t have one of those.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

(I explain. To sum it up, our money goes to a local No-Kill animal shelter for surrendered pets and strays. We make money off items sold, and we have little house-shaped banks to take dollar bills, and a pair of Big Belly Banks — one penguin, one begging dog — for coins, which kids and even adults love. Any declined change goes straight into these banks as a direct donation.)

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. You should just have a tray for loose change!”

(He then drops a dime on the counter. Now, here’s the thing: he didn’t rummage in his pocket to try to scrounge up what he owed. He made no effort to LOOK for more money. He literally had the dime in his palm the ENTIRE TIME that he was trying to get me to accept a penny less for what he was buying. I don’t say the half-dozen smart-mouthed things that fly through my head as I make the nickel in change for him.)

Customer: *retorts, in what is clearly a Direct Order from His High And Mighty-ness* “Just keep the nickel and use it to spot someone else who is short! I can’t believe you won’t take a freaking penny less!”

Me: *sickly-sweet grin, calling out as he stomps out the door* “The homeless animals thank you for your donation, sir! I’m sure they appreciate you not stealing money from them!”

(Maybe petty. Maybe passive-aggressive. But I don’t regret a word of it. I fed the penguin bank his nickel at the end of the night. Oddly enough, no one else had the gall to try to short change our charity.)

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