This Heavy Task Falls To You

, , , , , | Working | June 5, 2017

(My mother is going to the store, and decides to use the automated self-checkout. As a security precaution, the computer asks you to place each item on the belt after being scanned so it can weigh it and make sure it’s the right item. Everything is going normally until my mom tries to scan a certain item:)

Machine: “Place your helium balloon on the belt.”


Out Of Lane And Out Of Line

, , , | Right | June 2, 2017

(I work at a retail store in a calm, family-oriented part of town, where most people know each other and are genuinely nice. A buddy of mine comes in and stands last in line for my coworker’s register and I open a new one to relieve her. Said buddy notices first and comes to me and I start ringing up his items. The woman who was before him in coworker’s register suddenly sees me ringing him up and runs over:)

Customer: “I WAS FIRST!”

Buddy: “Excuse me?”


Buddy: “Sorry, but maybe you would’ve noticed if you weren’t so consumed by your phone. Besides, I have less stuff than you, so please calm down.”

(At this point I’m just standing there quite dumbfounded really.)


(She then suddenly grabs her items from her cart and literally THROWS them upfront over my register, over his groceries, down behind me, and on me. Then she fixes her coat and storms out clicking her heels like she owns the place.)

Buddy: “Yeah, besides your green cucumber outfit, this place ain’t so bad!”

(I finished his purchase and apologised for not doing anything but he just hushed me and bought me a chocolate I couldn’t say no to. Never saw that customer again.)

They’re Acting Bitter About The Sweet

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I work for a high quality chocolatier in England. Our products are pricey due to the amount of cocoa we use, which is the most expensive ingredient. The shop is in central London so our clientele don’t tend to notice the prices. I’m at the till when I’m approached by a man who looks like every other client. He has a few reasonably priced items so I scan them through:)

Me: “That will be £35.50, please.”

Customer: “£35! For that!?”

Me: “Yes, sir, is that a problem?”

Customer: “But it’s just chocolate!”

Me: “You’re not wrong, sir, but prices for cocoa are very high and we use more in our products than any other chocolatier.”

Customer: “Surely you have discounts you could give me?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. I can’t discount perfectly good products. You wouldn’t happen to work for the NHS or the police?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “Great! That entitles you to a 20% discount. Can I see your work pass?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one… I thought you’d just believe me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t include a discount without a reason.”

Customer: “You can’t reject my sale! This store is so quiet. You need my business.”

Me: “Actually, sir—” *I bring up our sales tracker* “—we’re £200 over our budget today. It’s only quiet because it’s night time. And I’m not rejecting your sale; you’re rejecting our prices. Would you like me to help you find some cheaper alternatives?”

(He just grumbles and pays for his items, storming out past another customer who had been waiting patiently behind him.)

Customer #2: “Some people are just miserable, aren’t they?”

(I total their order up.)

Me: *to next guest* “That’ll be £15.”

Customer #2: *confused* “But the price says £30?”

Me: “I know, but you didn’t ask for a discount so I gave you my 50% off. Have a great day!”

Minus That Customer Would Be A Plus

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am helping a customer with their return and have learned to point out sales and coupons used from their original purchase.)

Me: “Ok, so that item had a sale price of [total] plus an additional discount of 20% so you get [amount] back.”

Customer: “Minus.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s a discount, so it’s minus, not plus.”

(Thinking she’s joking around, I counter:)

Me: “Or is could be thought of as you received one discount with the sale PLUS an additional discount with the coupon.”

Customer: “No. It doesn’t work that way. It’s minus. You’re taking money off.”

(At this point I realize she is completely serious and this is the battle she has chosen to fight this day. As my choice of language in no way hindered the actual return and not really caring one way or another I reply:)

Me: “Of course, ma’am. You are correct. Could you please accept the transaction on the pin pad?”

Customer: “It’s MINUS not plus!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I can stand here and argue all day!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, but I am not arguing with you. I am agreeing with you.”

Customer: “It is NOT plus!”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am.”

Customer: *gives a big sigh and rolls her eyes* “I hate this store.”

(Now, I don’t know if I ruined her day by wording things in a way that offended her sensibilities, or if I ruined her day because I wouldn’t argue with her about it, but either way, guess who got a complaint?)

Not Bread For This Job

, , | Toledo, OH, USA | Working | May 31, 2017

I’m shopping for the month, and so have a lot of items that keep me pretty busy unloading the cart at the end of the conveyor belt. The register clerk must have been bored, and starts making a lot of small talk, asking questions about every other product. She’s never tried this shampoo, is it good? She didn’t even know they carried this brand of soda, and so on. I’m so distracted by her, I don’t remember to keep an eye on the bagger at the far end of the counter.

I get home to unpack and find all my canned goods and a couple of jars of spaghetti sauce were placed on top of the bread, which is now flat as pancakes.

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