(I am the customer in this story. The checkout lines are busy, and I remember I need to withdraw some cash with my purchase. The only self-scan checkout available has a perfectly legible sign on it:)

Sign: “CASH BACK NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS MACHINE.”

(I scan my items. At the conclusion, the checkout prompts me for whether I want cash back.)

Me: *presses YES*

(I wasn’t expecting to get a prompt and was momentarily forgetful of the sign. The machine comes to a dead stop. I contact the nearby cashier and explain what happened. He gets the manager. As the manager unlocks the machine and gives me my cash back:)

Me: “Without people like me, there wouldn’t be a need for people like you.”

(To his credit, the manager did not rub it in. Not while I was within earshot, anyway.)

(We have signs on our registers saying, “NO CHECKS.” The customer’s total comes to under $10. He has three cards come back declined, including a check card.)

Customer: “Can I write you a check?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not accept checks here; credit or cash only.”

Customer: “Who doesn’t take checks anymore? It’s not even $10.”

Me: *points to sign* “It is our store policy; we do not accept checks.”

Customer: “You can’t make an exception? I shop here all the time!”

Me: *I’ve never seen him before* “Sir, even if I was allowed to make an exception, would you really give us a check knowing that your check card has been declined?”

Customer: *long pause, then walks out*

(I have just gotten over a bad cold and am working as cashier with a slight cough when I help cash an older woman out.)

Me: “Were you able to find everything all right, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I found everything fine.”

Me: “That’s good!”

(I cough as I finish putting things in her bag. Mind you, all day, almost every time I’ve coughed I have broken into a small coughing fit from an itch in my throat; however, this one gets rather bad and I can’t stop coughing.)

Me: *coughing and trying to talk* “Would y-you like to donate to [Organization]?”

Customer: “No…”

Me: *eyes watering and still coughing while customer is paying*

Manager: *over headset* “Are you okay? Do you need water?”

(I’m coughing for the rest of the story, and for about three minutes after the customer leaves.)

Me: *crying* “I’m with a customer right now; I’ll be fine.”

Customer: “You’re sick; why are you here? It’s people like you who make people sick. You should be at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I have a tickle in my throat.” *hands customer her bag of items*

Customer: *glares at me with an evil look while taking bags and leaving*

(At the store where I work, it is policy to card for ALL tobacco and alcohol purchases. It doesn’t matter if the person has grey hair and more wrinkles than a Shar Pei; we still have to card them. Failure to card can lose me my job and cost me and the store a hefty fine. The customer I am serving here appears to be in at least his 60s.)

Customer: “I’ll take a can of [chewing tobacco], please.”

Me: “Certainly.” *unlocks the tobacco cabinet and gets out the can* “May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “You’re kidding me!”

Customer’s Buddy: “The state of things now! Is this an Obama rule? This is ridiculous how things are nowadays! Is his one of Obama’s rules?”

Me: “No, it is a store rule.”

Customer & His Buddy: *laughs* “A store rule?!”

(The customer handed me his ID, I typed in the birthdate and told him his total, and he paid and left, both of them still laughing. This is not the first time a customer has railed about “Obama taking away their rights” when asked for ID.)

Related:
Obama Drama, Part 4
Obama Drama, Part 3
Obama Drama, Part 2

(It’s my first day working at a fabrics and craft store. It’s important to note that during that week, there was a sale from October 19th through the 25th, though in the flier there were coupons that expired throughout the week. A middle-aged man comes through my register. While I’m very friendly and try to be polite while working, I don’t have much tolerance for stupidity.)

Me: “Hi! How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I have a coupon.”

Me: “Okay, I can get that scanned in any point before I hit ‘total.’”

(The customer shoves the coupon in front of the scanner himself, and a message comes up on my screen saying it’s expired.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; that coupon expired on the twentieth.”

Customer: “The flier’s good all week, though.”

Me: “Absolutely, but the coupon isn’t. See?”

(I turn the monitor towards him so he can see the message.)

Customer: “That’s false advertising!” *shoves the flier at me* “The flier says it’s good until the twenty-fifth!”

Me: *taking that moment to hold the flier to get a proper look* “Yes, but sir, on the coupon it clearly says it expired on the twentieth.”

Customer: “THAT’S FALSE ADVERTISING.”

Me: “Sir, it clearly states an expiration date. The flier is for sales going on this week.”

(I take a highlighter used for marking receipts and mark the expiration date on the coupon.)

Customer: “I’m going to sue you, personally, for false advertising.”

Me: *at my limit* “Good luck. Your item is [amount].”