Self-Checkout Makes You Want To Drink

, , , , | Working | October 2, 2017

I’m the customer in this story. I am working full time, going to university in the evenings, volunteering at the weekends and, unbeknownst to me at the time, dealing with some pretty heavy depression. I am averaging two or three hours of sleep a night. One night after studying at the university library, I decide to head to the shops to pick up a few bits. My mum’s birthday is coming up and I see a bottle of whisky she likes on sale, so I decide to grab a bottle for her as a mini-present.

I get to the self-service checkout and I get picked for a random check of my bag, which is basically to stop people bagging stuff without scanning it. An employee comes over and checks my bag, and sure enough, the totals don’t match. After rescanning everything in my four bags, it turns out I had missed the 40p pack of sugar sprinkles to go on my mum’s cake! If I were going to steal anything, it would have been the £25 bottle of whisky. Now, anytime I go to the self-scan aisle, I get “randomly selected.”

Not Sure How I Should Take That

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(The credit card readers in our store are finicky. The machine shows a picture indicating which way it takes the card, but it actually reads on both sides of the slider. If it doesn’t read it, we ask them to turn it around. One day, two men come up to my till with a bag of dog food.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

(The customer slides his card and the machine issues a long beep, which means it didn’t read it.)

Me: “Oh, can you slide that again? It didn’t read it. Just turn it around the other way.”

Customer #1: “Oh, it doesn’t show it that way.”

Me: “I know. It takes it both ways.”

Customer #2: “So does he.”

(At this point, I pause for a moment, wondering if I heard right. Then I laugh awkwardly.)

Customer #1: “Dude!”

Customer #2: “What? She laughed.”

Customer #1: “Her face is all red.”

(I quickly circle the survey on the bottom of the receipt and hand it to [Customer #1].)

Me: “I’m fine.”

(I try to laugh it off as the two customers leave. I see my coworker walking by, grab him, and tell him what just happened. He looks at me for a moment, blinking, then bursts into laughter and starts to walk away.)

Coworker: “I’m glad I’m not a cashier.”

You Have Someone Else In Store

, , , , | Right | September 30, 2017

(Until October, I was working for a department store, [Store A], but they let me go. In January, however, I got a job the hardware and home improvement store where this story takes place, [Store B]. However, at [Store A], I was so popular that people actively tried to find me if I was working, and one of the customers happens to find me during my first official day on the register at [Store B]. I am being shadowed, as per [Store B]’s policy with any new hire.)

Me: *walking around to scan the customer’s order, not seeing who it is at first* “Good evening. Will this be on your [Store B] credit card today?”

Customer: *not noticing me yet either* “No, not today. It’s just some pla—” *looks up from her purse* “Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be at [Store A]?”

Me: *looking up and realizing it is a regular from said store* “Oh, hey! How are you? Yeah, they let me go a few months ago.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s a shame, but at least you found another place, which is good. So, how long have you been here?”

Me: *finishing up the large items on her carts and going behind the counter* “This is my first official day on the registers, but it’s nice here. A lot better than what I had at [Store A].”

Customer: “That’s great! I heard a lot of stuff about [Store A] over the last few months, and they’ve really gone downhill.”

Me: *bagging and finishing her order* “Well, I guess they shouldn’t have let me go!”

Customer: “Oh, don’t say that! You’re too good for them; besides, most of them are ignorant a**holes.”

(I laugh before tendering her out and circling survey information on the bottom.)

Me: “That’s true, but make sure to take the survey at the bottom of your receipt. It could get you a [Store A], I mean [Store B] gift card!”

(My customer chuckles at my slight mistake, but then turns to my shadower.)

Customer: *to my shadower* “Make sure you keep him; he’ll be great for your company. [Store A] most likely let him go cause he was too good for them.”

(My shadower chuckles before nodding.)

Shadower: “Do you really need me to stay here? Because I can open another register.”

(I shook my head, but he stayed close enough to assist with the different features [Store B] had on their registers that [Store A] didn’t. Even though I hadn’t been at [Store B] that long, people that knew me from [Store A] started to find me, just like old times.)

It’s Tearin’ Up My Heart When I’m With You

, , , , , | Working | September 25, 2017

(I’m putting my items through the self-checkout and get an alert because I’m purchasing alcohol. Once I’ve finished, I see a worker come over and expect her to verify my age, etc. However, she proceeds to pick up my bag, turn it upside down, and dump everything on the scale. I am using a reusable bag from another store.)

Worker: “We just need to put your bag through.”

(She tries to scan the bag. It is clearly from another store; this store uses a blue bag, while mine is white and green, and the text and overall aesthetic is completely different, as well. As expected, the scanner doesn’t pick it up.)

Me: “It’s from [Other Store]. It won’t work.”

Worker: *ignoring me* “Why isn’t it scanning?”

(She tries over and over, refusing to listen to me until she screams out in frustration and rips the bag in half.)

Worker: “Now look what you did! You’re going to have to get another now!”

(She tries to get one of the store’s bags when a manager intercepts her. The manager apologises to me and offers me a free replacement, despite my bag not being from their store. She also approves my alcohol purchase and lets me go. I ask for my torn bag back, as well, before I leave. The worker is screaming so loudly at the manager by this point that half the checkout has stopped moving to watch the spectacle. I leave, and a week later decide to shop at the store where I got my original reusable bag. While I’m there, I decide to get my bag replaced, as they have a lifetime free exchange offer for damaged bags.

Me: “Could I replace this, please?”

Other Worker: “Sure.” *while grabbing another bag* “It looks like someone tried to rip it open.”

Me: “Someone did.”

Other Worker: “Your kids?”

Me: “Ugh, no. Someone at [Store] thought it was one of theirs, and—”

Other Worker: “Was it a woman? Short, with curly black hair?”

(I nod.)

Other Worker: “She worked here last Christmas.”

(She handed me my new bag and started scanning my shopping. As I was leaving, I heard people at the service counter talking about the woman and laughing hysterically. Looks like she got herself a reputation.)

This Has A Bad Ringing Out To It

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2017

(I’m a cashier and it’s the end of my shift. I have my register light off and my “closed” sign up. There are other cashiers on either side of me with no customers. I’m about to sign off, when a man in his 40s comes walking up with a basket containing a few items.)

Customer: “Wait, wait, wait. Don’t go anywhere. I only have three things.”

(I look at the cashiers on either side of me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m closed, but my coworkers would be happy to assist you.”

Customer: *sighs* “You’re gonna make me carry my basket all the way over there?”

Me: “I… I guess I can ring you out.”

Customer: “Great! Thank you!”

(He hands me his basket and watches as I ring up his three items.)

Me: “Your total comes to $6.79.”

Customer: “Oh, wait! I forgot the one thing I came in to get.”

(He runs off before I can even open my mouth. I’m waiting for a good five minutes before I see him coming again… carrying an armful of groceries.)

Customer: “These, too.”

Me: “…”

(I don’t say anything, but ring up the additional items.)

Me: “Your total is now $24.37.”

(The man goes to reach for his wallet.)

Customer: “Oh s***. I forgot my wallet in my car.”

Me: “That’s fine. I can hold your order while you run out.”

(I waited another ten minutes. The guy never came back.)

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