And Have A Happy Friday Eve!

, , , , , | Right | December 26, 2017

(It’s my second Christmas working retail, and my first working behind the tills. While I’m not in any way religious, I still celebrate Christmas and other Christian holidays as a time to spend with family, have nice food, and sometimes exchange presents. A regular customer, a woman wearing a chador, comes up to the till. I’m wearing a Santa hat.)

Customer: *gestures to my hat* “You doing anything nice for Christmas?”

Me: “Oh, just the standard family and food. Are you doing anything nice this week?”

Customer: “No, not really, though you’d be surprised how many people ask what I’m doing for Christmas.”

Me: “Really? You’d think it would be a bit obvious.”

Customer: “You’d think. Have a nice Christmas!”

Me: “Have a nice Friday!”

(She was one of the only customers who asked me about my plans for Christmas, which meant a lot to me as she wasn’t normally very talkative. When I saw her after Christmas, I asked her how her Friday was, and she asked me how Christmas went and we had a laugh about it. We had pretty much the same conversation again at Easter. Apparently I was the only person who didn’t ask her, a kind-of-obvious Muslim, what she was doing on Christian holidays, and it meant a lot to her!)

Buy None Get One Free

, , , , , | Working | December 26, 2017

(It’s the final week leading up to Christmas, and I am suffering from a terrible case of what I call “Christmas brain.” I have a lot going on both at work and in my personal life, and I’m not getting enough sleep on top of chronic illness. So I’m starting to jumble things in my head a little. Fortunately, the other workers in my small store sympathize and we all have some fun with it. We are running a sale in which 100 different products are being offered at 25% off.)

Me: *to customer* “And as you shop, keep in mind that we have select items on sale for 100% off! Wait…”

(Everyone within earshot starts laughing, including me.)

Customer: “What a great deal!”

Manager: “[My Name], you’re fired.”

Me: “Okay, so really, there are a hundred things for 25% off. If you have any questions, please ask one of my coworkers. I have to go clean out my locker because I’ve just been fired.”

(I put my head on my manager’s shoulder and he gives me a friendly pat. I love my job.)

Cashing In Their Opinion

, , , , , | Working | December 25, 2017

(My partner and I are at the store getting some last minute Christmas wrapping supplies.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything okay?”

Me: “Yup, thanks!”

Partner: “This should be the last of the Christmas stuff, finally.”

Me: “Yeah, we got all our presents sorted yesterday.” *turning to partner* “Oh, wait, you didn’t get something for [Partner’s Brother] yet. We could drop by [comic store] to look for something.”

Partner: *shrug* “I don’t really care that much.”

Cashier: *laughing* “I bet [Partner’s Brother] cares!”

Me: “Nah, actually he probably doesn’t. He isn’t super into gifts or super close to his siblings, so it’s not really considered a big deal.”

Partner: “Also, he’s the reason we don’t have heat in our house right now. He’s our landlord and he still hasn’t fixed our heat.”

Cashier: *shocked* “Really?! You have no heat?!”

Partner: “Nope. We have space heaters in our bedrooms, but it’s a big old drafty house, so they don’t do much.”

Me: *trying to be generous to [Partner’s Brother]* “The radiators need to be replaced and he just hasn’t gotten around to fixing them yet. He’s working on it, but—”

Cashier: *indignant* “If that happened at my apartment, oh boy… he wouldn’t be getting s*** from me!”

(My partner never did get around to getting him a Christmas present, and we still don’t have heat in the house. Neither of us are actually mad at him about it but we still think the cashier’s reaction was hilarious!)

Only One Holiday Per Child

, , , , , , , | Working | December 23, 2017

(My family is at the checkout line for our groceries. The checkout clerk comments how my three year old is adorable and well-behaved. I thank her.)

Employee: *to daughter* “You should tell Mommy and Daddy that you want a brother or sister for Christmas!”

(The clerk looks at me and smiles.)

Me: *coldly* “Then it’s a good thing we’re Jewish.”

Ice Cream Is Sweet Child Of Mine

, , , , , , | Working | December 21, 2017

(I go into a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where they let you choose a cup size and then charge by weight. When I go in, there’s a small boy with a huge tub, filling it with every flavor and topping he can find. I get a small cup and finish up pretty quickly. The boy comes to stand next to me at the counter after I have already put my yogurt on the scale.)

Me: “This will be all.”

Cashier: “What about his?”

Me: “Um, he’s not mine.”

Cashier: *laughs*

Me: “I’m not joking. He was here when I came in, and has clearly been at it awhile to fill that giant tub. Did you not see him before?”

Cashier: “Listen, I know it will be pretty expensive, but you have to pay for your son.”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t have any children. He isn’t mine.”

Cashier: “Well, whose else could he be? You’re the only other person in here!”

Me: *quietly* “Which means he has an irresponsible mother, but that mother is not me.”

Cashier: “I’m not letting you leave without paying.”

Me: *sighs, turns to little boy* “Please tell this lady where your mom is.”

Little Boy: *looking very confused* “She’s in the car outside.” *holding up a couple $20 bills* “She gave me this for ice cream!”

Me: “Great, thanks.”

Cashier: *looking absolutely disgusted* “Your total is $3.78. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t with you?”

(I just left. I get that it was a weird situation, but seriously, how did she not see the kid in the tiny shop for what must have been at least ten minutes before I walked in? And why on earth would I lie about not being a child’s mother? Parents of the world, please chaperone your kids. Don’t assume an employee is paying them any attention at all!)

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