A Five-Dollar Hole

, , , , | Right | February 23, 2019

(We are extremely busy and a teenager comes up to the cash with a stuffed animal. It’s $16.99 and she hands me $12.00.)

Me: “Okay, I need about $5.”

Girl: “Oh, I don’t have enough. Can you just make an exception?”

Me: “Uh, no, sorry. Can you just move over so I can help the next person?”

Girl: “Really? You can’t make an exception?”

Me: “I’m not having a variance in my till for this. I don’t even know you.”

(The girl rolls her eyes and walks away. She comes back later with the right amount and she ends up with me as a cashier again.)

Girl: *as she hands me money* “Like really? You can’t just fake $5?”

Me: “Yes! The company will think I’m stealing. I’m not putting my job on the line for $5, for a girl I don’t even know.”

Girl: “I hope you die in a hole.”

(She storms away with her change and stuffed animal, and a new coworker gives me a look.)

New Coworker: “Wow. All that for a stuffed animal?”

Me: “Not the worst thing I’ve ever been told by a customer. Welcome to retail.”

The Lights Are Off But Somebody Is Home

, , , , , , | Right | February 22, 2019

(I am an observer in this story. I am in line behind a woman, who is next in line at a grocery store checkout. There are two lanes in operation, both marked “20 items,” but nobody is counting; it’s not a big deal. For the line I’m in, there’s a young man running the register, ringing up a guy’s groceries, maybe ten items total. The other register is run by an older guy who is ALWAYS there; he’s super-efficient. He’s got five or six people in his line. He had to run over to the customer service desk to grab some cigarettes, but that took him a minute maybe. The lady in front of me questions the younger guy:)

Customer: “Are you open?”

Cashier: *just finishing up the guy that was in line ahead of the woman* “Yes, ma’am, I sure am!”

Customer: “Are you open? The reason I’m asking is that your light is off!”

Cashier: *leans over and flips the light on* “Sorry, I just jumped and started ringing people up!”

Customer: *holding her two items* “Are you open, then?!”

Cashier:Yes, I am open!” *reaches for the two items*

Customer:Well, I was confused! Should I go over there? Is that guy there? Is he open? Your light wasn’t on! What am I supposed to think?! It’s confusing! There’s nobody over there, and your light is off! I don’t think I should have to pay for things, since it’s so confusing!

A Hundred Bucks Is All It Takes To Learn Telepathy

, , , , , | Right | February 19, 2019

(A lady comes in to buy ink for her printer. She buys a combo pack that has both the black ink and tri-color cartridge, and also gets one extra tri-color cartridge by itself. She then comes up to check out.)

Customer: *hands me a $15-off-$75 coupon*

Me: “Oh, right now your total is $63; did you want to get anything else?”

Customer: “I guess. Get me another combo pack.”

(I go get and another combo pack and ring it up.)

Me: “Okay, now your total is $107 before the coupon.”

Customer: “What? Why so much?”

Me: “Well, each combo pack was $42, and the extra color cartridge is $23.”

Customer: “Wait, why did you scan that extra color cartridge?!”

Me: “Oh, well, you brought it up with you. Did you not want it?”

Customer: “No! Why did you scan it?! A hundred dollars is way too much; you should have known I didn’t want it.”

Me: “Um… All right. I’ll remove it.”

(I remove the extra cartridge and apply the coupon.)

Me: “Your total is $63 now.”

Customer: “See, now isn’t that better and easier when it’s done right?”

Me: “Yep.”

Try Being Quiet AND Not Being A Jerk

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

(I’m working customer service when one of our regular, elderly customers, [Customer #1], comes up to the desk and does what he usually does: he asks for the aisle numbers for a few items. Another customer, [Customer #], comes up behind him.)

Customer #2: *quietly, but as I’m still helping the first customer* “Can I get a pack of [cigarettes]?”

Me: “One moment, sir. I’m still helping this gentleman.”

Customer #2: *while I’m STILL helping the first customer* “Well, can’t you help me while you’re waiting for him to speak?”

(I ignore him as I finish helping [Customer #1]. When I am done, I turn to [Customer #2].)

Me: *to [Customer #2]* “How can I help you?”

Customer #2: “A pack of [cigarettes]. And I’ll make sure to let your managers know of your ‘excellent’ customer service, and how you can’t handle multitasking very well.”

Me: “I can multitask pretty well, actually.”

Customer #2: “Apparently not.”

Me: “Yes, I can, sir. I was just trying to not be rude to the other customer.”

Customer #2: “I wasn’t being rude; that’s why I asked quietly.”

Me: “Okay, sir.” *hands him his change and he walks away*

(Another customer comes up to the desk after hearing what just happened.)

Customer #3: “Wow…”

Me: “I know! Thank you!”

([Customer #2], about ten feet away, drops the change I just gave him.)

Me: *to [Customer #3]* “Well, look who can’t multitask by walking and carrying change at the same time.”

Chip And Spin

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2019

(I am checking out a customer one day. We now have the chips installed so it does get confusing, since people still swipe.)

Me: “Do you have the chip?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “All right, you can stick it in. It will ask one question first, and then ask a couple more.”

(The customer puts his card in, answers the first question, and then the machine starts beeping.)

Me: “Oh, you put it in the wrong way. Flip it around and then stick it back in.”

Customer: “I’ve been told that all my life. What’s a few more?”

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