I had just returned from visiting my parents for Christmas, and I had no food in my apartment. It was around 8:00 pm, so I decided to order takeout for dinner and just get groceries the next day. I placed my order online, opted to save on delivery fees by picking up the food myself, and drove to the diner when the food was supposed to be ready.

The food was not ready, so I sat on a stool at the counter and waited for maybe five to ten minutes until one of the managers said my food was finally ready.

Manager: “You’re all set.”

Me: *Sleep-deprived and confused* “But I haven’t paid yet.”

Manager: “Yes, so you’re all set.”

Me: *Credit card in hand* “But I haven’t paid for the food yet.”

Manager: *Patiently* “Yes, you’re all set.”

After a few more go-arounds, it finally dawned on me that this WHOLE TIME, he had been trying to tell me that the card reader was ready for me to swipe my card. At least he was very nice about it!

At the grocery store where I work, our policy is to ask for ID for all purchases of cigarettes. If your ID is a driver’s license or State ID, we scan the back of it.

One night, I’m running the front end, but I’m watching the service desk, as well, where we keep the cigarettes. A customer comes up to the desk wanting to buy cigarettes. I’ve interacted with this guy before, and he’s a pain to deal with, so I know this is gonna be a rough one.

Me: *Scanning the cigarettes* “Can I see your ID, please?”

He pulls his wallet but doesn’t take his license out of the holder.

Me: “I need to scan the back of your ID.”

Customer: “I can’t take it out. Just enter the date manually.”

Me: “I can’t do that; I need to scan the back of it.”

Customer: “Just type the date in!”

Me: “I can’t, sir.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

The store manager wasn’t there, so I paged the assistant manager up and let him deal with it. The guy talked to him, and the assistant manager backed me up, telling him I needed to scan the back of the ID. The guy went off on him. Among the highlights of his rant:

• He would pull it out for a state trooper but not for me. (So, he was effectively saying he was lying to me when he said he couldn’t take it out.)

• Whenever he goes to a different store, they type the date in. (We all wondered why he didn’t go there, then.)

• Having to scan the ID was an infringement on his rights (somehow).

He ended his rant by threatening to sue us, and then he stormed out. We all laughed and went about our business.

But wait! There’s more! About forty-five minutes later, we got a phone call. The desk clerk picked it up, and it was a customer wanting to talk to the store manager. The assistant manager had left, so our night-time person in charge (who had witnessed the previous interaction) came up, picked up the phone, listened for a minute, and then pointed at me and mouthed, “Your guy.”

Yes, this guy called the store to further complain, saying I had singled him out. (Throwing a tantrum while you’re the only customer at the desk will tend to draw attention to yourself.) [Night-Time Person] told the guy a further four times that we had to scan the back of his ID. Then, the guy said he wanted “an appointment” with the manager. [Night-Time Person] gave him the manager’s name, told him when he’d be in next, and then hung up.

We laughed some more and went back to work. When I came in the next day, I asked if anyone had called complaining about me, but they said no, so I guess the guy gave up.

It is the Christmas rush at a music and video store in a very large mall back in the mid-1990s. Five cashiers are manning a line about a hundred yards long.

An old lady walks right up to the front of my line, cutting off tons of people, and shoves her pile of videos and CDs on the counter. I pause to look at her and the already-obviously-rising rage in my customers in line immediately to her right.

Me: *Politely* “The end of the line is that-a-way.”

I gesture to the back of the store. She looks at me and, without missing a lick, says:

Customer: “I’m not gonna buy all this stuff if you make me wait in that line.”

Me: “Okay, bye.”

And I started ringing up the next customer in line. She got all huffy and stormed out while the customers and I chuckled.

I have just returned an item at customer service and I get $2 in cash. As I am standing in the checkout line, I begin to put the money in my wallet and a lady approaches me.

Lady #1: “Please can I have some money to buy food?”

It’s Christmas and, while I don’t have much to spare, this lady catches me off guard, so I just hand her the money in my hand. I have trouble saying no to people when I’m caught off guard.

Then, the lady in front of me in line turns to me.

Lady #2: “I know you have money now, so will you pay for my items?”

She is holding two canisters of drink mix. I have now had a chance to get my bearings.

Me: “I don’t have any more cash.”

Lady #2: “But you’re obviously going to pay for your own things, so you can buy mine, as well.”

Me: “No.”

Lady #2: “So, you’re not going to buy my items?”

Me: “No, I’m not.”

Maybe it’s not much of a story, but I just could not believe the audacity!

It’s the end of the year. I’m working as a cashier at a grocery store, still rather new to this job. I’m checking out a seemingly well-mannered sir; he gets his stuff on the conveyor about an hour before closing and makes some pleasant small talk with me while I’m scanning and bagging his groceries.

Me: *Handing him his receipt* “And here you go. Happy holidays.”

The customer’s smile disappears.

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “No. You do not wish someone ‘happy holidays’. Say it properly.”

Me: “Sir, if there’s not something wrong with your receipt—”

Customer: “No, shut up! I’m sick of people acting like it’s some sort of crime. You know what the holiday is. Say it. Properly.”

Having had anger issues in the past, I make myself take a deep breath in and out before I respond.

Me: “Have yourself a good Starlight.”

Customer: “A good what?”

Me: “Starlight.”

Customer: “What the f*** is Starlight?”

Me: “The Starlight Celebration is a holiday taking place around the darkest days of the year, celebrating the kindness of—”

Customer: “Oh, f*** you!”

The customer storms out of the store.

Next Customer: “How much of an a**hole do you have to be to take issue with someone who wishes everyone a happy holiday instead of only people who celebrate a specific holiday?”

Me: “I was kind of hoping you could tell me.”

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